The Cuckold Journal of Jane & Mark Ch. 11byangieseroticpen©
Wednesday marked the start of a period of upheaval for me. Apart from it being one day nearer to when Jane would be going away to see Alex, Mick the builder started work on installing the en-suite bathroom. Jane and I had to move a lot of the furniture out into the other spare room and we also had a load of bathroom fittings delivered which we had to find room for and which added to the upheaval.
I was also on edge with the prospect of Jane and Mick fucking. He was clearly interested her but she was using it to hers and mine advantage; hounding him about making as little mess as possible as well as getting the job done as quickly as possible. Jane told me that she had mentioned to him that she was having a weekend break on her own and he asked where she was going, hinting that he liked to get away at weekends as well. Jane told him that he would be working this weekend!
I knew that it would eventually happen which both excited me and hurt. I knew that someone like him would not normally be her type but she would do it just for the sake of putting me through an emotional roller coaster. On Thursday morning just before I set off to work Jane lifted her skirt in the kitchen to show me that she wasn't wearing any knickers. All she had on under her flared skirt was a pair of black stockings. She gave me a goodbye kiss and told me she would be in later.
I had to leave in a state of sexual excitement and jealous pain; I was leaving my wife alone with two builders, both of whom would shag her at the drop of a hat; leaving my wife, who was not wearing any knickers, alone with two men one of whom she had vowed to fuck. The only consolation was that Jane did tell me though that nothing would happen until the work was finished to her satisfaction. "He's not getting into my knickers until it's all finished!" She had told me.
Perhaps of little comfort for some but at least I knew that I had a stay of execution.
When she did come into work later she was wearing knickers. She reached across me to pick up a faxed message and I slipped my hand up her skirt. "Got some knickers on now hey?" I said to her.
She smiled "What sort of a woman do you think I am?" She said.
I knew exactly what sort of woman she was and it made it made very hard.
I let Mark off with that little bit of over familiarity as I leant over him. I didn't want him to see Alex's fax just yet but when we got home and had the place to ourselves I did say to him that he shouldn't be taking liberties like that; not without my permission, anyway.
Mark looked a little surprised and hurt so I kissed and told him that although I loved him very much he couldn't just touch me like that anymore. "I am not yours to grope whenever you feel like it." I told him as I touched the bulge in his trousers. "Other men can but you can't unless you are invited."
All this was part of Alex's training of course. "A good Cuckoldress gets her Cuckold's mindset right as quickly as possible." He told me. "Once a man becomes a cuckold he loses all rights that he had to his wife's body. He should revert to the status he had with her before they became a couple; before they became intimate. If intimacy does take place then it should be as a favour or reward."
I told Mark this as I touched him. I knew that he did not like what he was hearing but he was excited all the same. I was learning to handle my husband sternly yet lovingly and with intimacy.
There was still a lot to do and a long way to go but we were getting there; slowly but surely we were establishing new foundations.
Just to perhaps cement things I asked Mark to shave me. My pussy didn't really need it; there were just a few bristles here and there, but I wanted to feel his touch and more importantly I wanted him to feel me knowing that he would not be able to do anything else. There was also another reason for focusing his mind.
When he cleared up I put my skirt back on sat him down at the table with a writing pad and pen and then handed him the fax that Alex had sent earlier that day.
The fax came as a complete shock. I sat and read it over and over again before picking up the pen. "It's just to make things formal and legal." Jane had told me. "I love you very much Mark and I have no intention of ever leaving you and divorcing you but just in case anything goes wrong in the future then I need absolution from any blame because of infidelity."
I could see her reasoning. "Why can't I just sign this then?" I asked her.
"Because it might not be proper legal evidence." She answered. "It should be in your own handwriting and posted properly to make it legally binding."
I had never written a letter to Jane before; sent her lots of emails and texts etc, but never written. With my hand shaking I picked up the pen and began to copy the contents of Alex's fax.
"My Darling Jane,
We have had a lot of discussions of late about our sexual problems or should I say my sexual problems. I am sorry that I am unable to satisfy you sexually and sorry that it is upsetting for you. I know how much you enjoy and need sex. I do love you very much and know that you feel the same way about me even though I am unable to physically satisfy you.
It is unfair that you should continue to suffer in this way and I am therefore writing to you to tell you that I am giving you my permission to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Naturally the thought of thought of you making love with another man is upsetting for me but my inability to give you the sexual satisfaction that you need should not mean that you have to suffer.
Of course I understand that this will mean that you will have to date other men and I will not stand in your way. I also understand that you will need privacy as well as your own space and I will also ensure that you get as much of this as you require. If you require me to move out of the marital bedroom on occasions then I will and as well as giving you privacy I will also be courteous to any males that you bring to the marital home.
Although I would prefer that the males you seek sexual satisfaction with are neither friends nor business associates, I realise that the choice will be entirely yours. I will therefore not raise any objections to your choice of males neither will I attempt to curtail the frequency of your liaisons with them. You are free to see whom you want and when you want my darling.
In allowing you to disregard the fidelity part of our marriage vows I also acknowledge that there may come a time when you might wish to become pregnant with your lover and have his baby. I acknowledge that this is your right. I therefore wish to let you know that should you have a child by another man I will not only allow my name to be put on that child's birth certificate but also help you rear that child as my own.
All my Love
I read my letter through and then folded it and put it in the envelope provided by Jane. After addressing the letter I handed it to her post. My hand was still shaking as Jane took it from me and left the room. A few minutes later she returned and kneeled down before me and started to unzip my trousers. I was helpless to stop her as she tugged them down with my boxers and then unwrapped a condom from its packet. For a moment I thought I was going to have a fuck. I wanted to feel the heat from her pussy around my cock; I wanted to feel her tight pussy around me; I wanted that closeness. Jane though had other ideas. "I will have to let Mick use your condoms when he fucks me." She said as she started to move her hand up and down my shaft. "You don't mind do you darling."
I was in no position to object.
"Are you looking forward to my fucking him?" She asked as her strokes quickened up.
I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell her not to fuck him but I couldn't. I was a cuckold, a helpless cuckold.
"Was that a 'Yes'? She asked.
"You know what I would really like don't you?"
She asked me.
I shook my head.
"I would like to see you put the condom on him before he fucks me. Roll it down his big thick shaft and make sure it is on properly" She told me.
I felt the first spurt of my cum shoot forth and I looked down and groaned as I saw the teat of the condom filling with white liquid; my white sticky cum.
Friday morning was exciting for me. I was excited that I would be going to see Alex later that day and I was excited that Mark was going to be taking me shopping for some clothes for the weekend. As I had lots of skirts, tops and dresses I would not need much in the way of them but I would need some sexy underwear for the weekend. Yes, I had lots at home too but I wanted something special for Alex, perhaps even to leave a few sets at his place so that they were special to us. Women do have special sets of underwear that they associate with either an occasion or a certain man, I have some for Mark, and I wanted some for Alex.
I was also excited to see Mark's letter arrive. Mark met the postman in the driveway as he was leaving for work and he handed it to me. There was a look of foreboding on his face as he handed it over. I did feel a little sorry for him. I knew that in some ways he was handing his life over to me; he was making my cuckolding of him legal and official. I gave him a reassuring kiss and a hug before I hid the letter away.
I suppose that I could have taken the letter to work with me and destroyed it or even hidden it away but I just felt compelled to go back into the house and hand it to her. I knew exactly what I was handing over but I had an enormous erection as I did so. As we kissed Jane pressed herself up against me. She felt it too and I knew that it excited her.
Jane followed me into work an hour later and we headed off to the High Street and a particular lingerie shop. The last time we had been there I had walked around with her and she had taken items off the rail and quietly asked me if I thought Alex would like it or not but she didn't this time. She made her choices without consulting me and when she finished she handed me the basket for me to take to the checkout for payment.
The young girl was smiling and chatty as she took each item from their hanger and neatly folded and placed then inside a carrier bag. "Having a romantic break?" She asked.
"Yes I am." Jane said.
"Hmm nice." The girl replied without looking up.
It seemed the girl had not heard exactly what Jane had said.
Yes, Jane was having a romantic break, a romantic weekend away actually but I wasn't. I would be alone at home with the children and she would be with her lover. I felt quite sad as I walked back to the car with her and carrying the bag was also a little humiliating. Five bra and panties sets; a couple of Basques; two suspender belts and half a dozen pairs of stockings plus two baby doll nightie sets was the haul.
This was the part of my cuckolding that I found hard to come to terms with. Having her with me while she cuckolded me was one thing but having her away from home with her lover was something quite different. With having the workmen at the house going back and forth it was difficult to talk but Jane managed to shower and change and supervise my packing of her suitcase.
Before we left we kissed and hugged and then I took her to the rail station. There followed more hugs and kisses as she got onto the train and then came the sadness of watching the train slowly disappear from view.
I did feel bad about leaving Mark and the children. I knew that Mark was hurting. I did at one stage nearly change my mind. I knew that I could have rang Alex and got him to come over instead but I also knew that this had to be done.
Alex had said "A good Cuckoldress should make her sexual independence a priority very early in the relationship. The Cuckoldress should also establish that she was sleeping with other men for her sexual satisfaction and not for her husband's. The fact that the husband received sexual enjoyment from her infidelity was a by-product of cuckolding. The Cuckoldress must have times alone with her lovers without the presence of her husband and perhaps sometimes without even his knowledge. The Cuckoldress is a free spirit and she should be allowed to flourish as such."
As I sat on the train I contemplated this. A few weeks ago would I have been sat on a train journeying to a lover? Would I have been thinking about all the things I would be doing with him? Would I have been thinking about how, once he had closed his door behind us, I would fall to my knees and unbuckle his pants; how I would release his cock and take it in my mouth; how I would show him just how much I had missed his lovely big cock?
Of course, I wouldn't have. I would be playing the part of a good wife and mother.
I could feel myself getting damp from the erotic thoughts I was having so picked up my magazine. It was as I looked up at it that I noticed a well dressed male looking at me from a few seats down the carriage. We were both on the outer seats so in view of each other. Actually he wasn't looking at me he was looking at my legs or should I say trying to look up my skirt. I wasn't exactly wearing a short one but I did have stockings on and I wondered if, when I had sat down, I might have inadvertently flashed at him. It was easily done.
He hadn't noticed me look at him so I looked away and concentrated on my magazine. I decided to have some fun with him and uncrossed my legs. I made it look casual as I kept them slightly apart. I glanced in his direction. His tongue was practically hanging out of his mouth. I watched him shift uncomfortable in his seat and I looked away again. It didn't take a genius to know that he had an erection.
I pretended to be engrossed in my magazine and let my thighs part a little more. I guessed that he could now see the crotch of my red panties above my stocking tops, I glanced up in his direction again and the look on his face confirmed this. I wondered about his cock. I wondered what it looked like. Was it big and thick like Alex's or was average like Mark's?
I relaxed my legs a little more. I knew that I was behaving like a slut; behaving like some common whore but I couldn't help it. This new found freedom I had; this new found freedom of being a Cuckoldress was changing me. I was free to do as I please, more or less. The part of the freedom I enjoyed most was that freedom to arouse.
A few weeks ago I wouldn't have dreamed of thinking this way but I could now. Why shouldn't I arouse another man if I wanted to? Why shouldn't I think about other men's cocks? Men had had the freedom to think about other women's genitals since the start of time and it was acceptable so why wasn't it acceptable for women to think the same way?
My thoughts took me to my destination. As we pulled into the station I saw Alex standing there waiting for me. Once the train pulled to a halt he rushed over and opened the door for me and took my case before helping me down. We kissed passionately oblivious to everyone and everything around us. "I need a fuck." I whispered to him.
"That's good because you are going to get one anyway whether you wanted one or not!" He replied.
I kissed him again and pressed myself against him. He was ready.
As we walked away hand in hand I glanced back at the carriage and saw the man I had aroused staring in our direction. It didn't take a genius to know that he was wishing that he was holding my hand instead of Alex and taking me off to give me a good hard fucking.