All Comments on 'The Curse of the Scots Ch. 04'

Ignore the idiots...You're doing well...

Please continue, I am waiting for the next part and really like your writing!!!

Love it mate keep going.

So far so good. I am enjoying this story. Totally outrageous of course but we can all suspend disbelief for a good tale, well told - which this is.

Minor quibble: it's Jane Austen not Jean. But we all make typos.

Looking forward to reading the rest of it.

... but it's strangely addictive and very well written. Please keep 'em coming.

Don't stop this is a great story, well written and the plot is crafted to allow you lots of possibilities but no real direction yet. Keep at it.

Can't really see the point of the Angie/ Caprice submissive thing. Apart from that I'm really enjoying the read

Nice read please continue.

I usually don't get involved with multi-part stories but this is an exception. You are doing quite well at spinning this tale. Looking forward to the next chapter.

The subject is pretty shitty - BUT - you are writing an EXCELLENT story.

Carvohi - keep going - or I'll send the girls around !! Understood ?

...I don't think I could get anywhere near this kind of writing - Well Done You !!

Everyone does stupid and hateful things. That is what happens when you mix a bunch of humans together. The author is doing a lot of jumping around among POVs but it is not that hard to follow and makes things more interesting.

Aw shucks, we're all just dumb farmers...

Good chapter. I liked the sexy parts, too.

just a good story. It is a wonderful story, first class in the telling and beneficent in its emotional resonance. I want to say it is a kind and beautiful story, but, more importantly, I need to say that it is a great read....a great read.

I wish I had your gift for writing, for developing characters, for drilling deep down and revealing what the people are really like underneath the exterior the rest of the world sees. But since I don't, each chapter is like opening a present and so far turning each virtual page has been good. So, don't ruin it by giving us some crappy red bandanna at the end. OK?

I eagerly await for you to post the next section!!! I too have become addicted and cannot wait to see where the story goes!!

Usually I just go for a quick story. I've never read a long series like this before. I find myself checking back every few hours to see if a new chapter is up yet.

Awesome work. Keep it up!

great story and well written. You have me hooked and enjoying it. Thanks for writing and sharing.

There are nit-picking idiots everywhere.

Your story is a good one.

I love this story. All your chapters so far got 5* from me and I'm sure the next 3 will also get 5 if you keep the quality up to your 1st 4 chapters.

Not completely certain about Caprice being some master manipulator, doesn't quite fit the character you've crafted for her. And wasn't Cayden an army ranger? That's a highly specialized combat role, I can't believe he would get his ass handed to him in a pissant bar fight.

Cayden worked in the motor pool. His martial training was limited to what he got in basic training. Cayden's just a guy. In the next chapter you'll see just how inept he can be.

So please keep the good stuff coming.

Thanks

Caprice was a whore for twelve years. Whores are incredibly adept at manipulating people.

I'm enjoying your story, thank you.

Thanks, Carvohi---interesting characters and you are doing a good job of developing them in the story.

Keep writing, I enjoy the longer stories that aren't always about the lucky pizza delivery driver.

Story actually matters, thank you

I'm really enjoying the story so far, keep posting the chapters.

Cayden's character is interesting to read because he has a set pattern of how he acts. Caprice is interesting because she doesn't really know who she is.

Is this going to be a lets shit on the man and have him like it and ask for more stories? To be honest it's hard to keep reading about Cayden getting shit on. I like your writing and have even enjoyed the build up in this story but the constant shitting on Cayden is getting old real fast. He will put his life on the line for women who won't even allow him to see his daughter or have dinner with them, but he won't stick up for himself when these horrible women keep shitting on him. It's about as depressing a story as I like to get into. Angie and her mother are both pretty bad people. What kind of person would not even tell their daughter/granddaughter who her father is when he is the one supporting them. Why does Cayden deserve to keep getting shit on? The dude doesn't deserve this just because he was an asshole through his high school years. We all were assholes during that period, but in no way, shape, form or fashion does Cayden deserve to be constantly treated like this!

Thanks carvohi. great story stayed up all night reading this story. thoroughly enjoyable. keep posting :)

Next chapter please

The series is good

Good story, keep going till it has a great finish. I gave it a five because it deserved a five.

My only complaint is about having to wait for the next installment.

Overall saga started great but this is the weakest segment. Too many inconsistencies. Caprice controls Angie, but yet Angie and her mom still exclude him from Easter supper-why couldnt Caprice do something about that? Didnt Angie's discovery of the box with the receipts change her mind re Cayden-the narrative at that point suggested same?

That said, too much time invested not to read the 3 segments upcoming, have to see how you finish this. Endings are the toughest part....to write and get right.

I'm patiently waiting for each chapter to post. Great story so far

Nice guys don't have to finish last! Keep it going.

I'll continue reading. I've enjoyed it to an extent but I agree with the other comment that it's stalling a bit around, "let's have another zillion words on Cayden getting shit upon." For that reason, I found this chapter less engaging than the previous.

As some constructive criticism: first, get an editor for proof reading...it's not good in spots.

Second, there seems to be a complete obsession with the word 'whore.' You've obviously tried to get the reader to empathize and relate to Caprice. It jars against that when you refer to her over and over ad nauseum as "the whore"...not just in people's speech (which might be understandable) but in your third person commentary. For example, the sentence,"She slammed back against Caprice. She swung out and hit the whore in the jaw..." I would suggest that this type of thing would be much more engaging to the reader if it said, "...and hit her in the jaw..." At this point in the story, she's a person, not a job description.

There's a bit of inconsistency in the characters but I can suspend disbelief enough to keep going and enjoy it. So, thanks.

seduction of Angie by Caprice. Never saw that coming... And I agree with the anon that pointed out that since now Caprice controls Angie, why isn't Cayden allowed to at least see his daughter receive her gift? Of course, now we're thinking it's a poly situation, with Caprice being dominant to Angie...

Next chapter, please.

Angie is taking a job meant for the mentally handicapped? That's low.

Very minor problem. Good story.

good story, please continue

I'll be reading until the end.

DE

I am impatiently waiting on the rest of this story! I love the twists and turns!

You're doing great. Thank you. Looking forward to the rest.

Dude, don't keep us hanging.

I always love your style...loving wives with a plentiful of romance.

I know you're a romantic at heart.

Keep it coming

Love your story. 5*

I was saddened by your expression of discouragement. Shame on us for being too quietly engaged to offer any comment......I think this one has grabbed a lot of folk's rapt attention.

I can't speak for others, but since page 3 of the first installment, I've looked forward to each new one.

Your style is a little declarative, like a working man's narrative. That's not criticism, that's a statement that your main character presents the entire work as his story, so it should sound like a working man's narrative.

Each POV narrative is different enough that each evokes a personality that fits our image of that character.

I was surprised by Caprice's turnabout and her rather calculating subjugation of Angie.....a contrast, but, probably transitional for her. I think more of what that is will be revealed, as well as how Robbie continues to give so much and still suffers profound loneliness.

I'm hooked. PLEASE, keep writing! You have to tell the whole story. The alternative would be a real loss......a tragedy in the world of Literotica.

Damn, man! You've engaged us, you've entertained us, you've gotten us hooked on your characters and they seem real enough that we're like the audience of a telenovela.....we can't wait for the next episode to find out what happens.

I give 5* to the whole series. I won't even quibble about the occasional slip of grammar or spelling. The story is so engaging, I can't bring myself to care about the niggling details that usually drive me up a wall.

I hope my few words, when taken with those of the other commenters, will add up to some feeling that you should continue.....because you should.

I will always be an anonymous contributor. Circumstances force the need, but I'm so very gratified when I come across a rare gem on this forum, like this one.

Don't get me wrong, I love the variety of stories and the creative 'solutions' some writers invent, especially in the BTB subgroup as well as the mental exercises of the 'work it out' crowd....and so on. I keep coming back and keep commenting, in spite of the danger of being ignored by those that are become the walking wounded by those low class Anonymous snipers, in hopes that worthy comment, no matter the source will embolden writers to continue the terrible task of inventing a story and then releasing it to the teeming hoard....

... Don't really know where you're going with the Caprice/Angie relationship but it certainly seems gratuitous at this stage. Then again, just maybe Caprice is as big a whore as she thinks she is. I guess the bottom line is that I liked the character until this chapter. Now, I'm not sure if she is the heroine of this story or a really nasty villain. Bring on Ch. 05.

Great job can't wait for the next ones

How can I give it more than a 5? The first thing I do every day is to check for your next installment. I can't wait for your next one.

good yarn- stay with it.

I find it interesting there are so many comments already about the story. There must be quite a few people reading it. I like it so far. Thanks.

Bill

I find it interesting there are so many comments already about the story. There must be quite a few people reading it. I like it so far. Thanks.

Bill

I find it interesting there are so many comments already about the story. There must be quite a few people reading it. I like it so far. Thanks.

Bill

I will agree with some of the others that this is likely the weakest chapter. It is disappointing when I see an author take such pains to develop a character then, mostly for the sake of where they want the story to go, change the personalities of them dramatically. Examples: Angie finding the trunk and breaking down--with her current temperament why would she not be really mad at his subterfuge; Mrs. Bradford not inviting him it holiday meals--obviously he has been to her house before, why the lockout now; Caprice taking control of Angie but not putting it to use to help Cayden. Doesn't make sense. Emily is still the one on the short list and that is pissing me off a little. Anyone else worried this job at the bank with an obscure reference to a uniform might be more trouble than good?

A captivating read. Can't wait for the next chapter. A great change of pace from the usual literotica entries.

Really compelling tale. You have a nice style, very easy to read and it leaves you wanting more.

It is rude not to sign your comments

great story, can't wait for the next three chapters. tkx

I have thoroughly enjoyed it!

I agree that this is different from most Literotica stories. It has depth, and I find myself looking for the next installment. Please don't make me wait too long.

A very odd turn of events. Much here to truly love, but I get the sad feeling that this will simply become a poly amorous story. That would truly be disappointing considering the direction I had hoped it would go.

I have enjoyed reading this story. Good development of the characters and interesting dialogue.

Many Thanks

But now that I have I find it very compelling.

Weakest chapter so far and starting to get boring with the constant shitting on Cayden. Your comments about him being inept in the coming chapters is not going to help this story imho. Characters having 180 degree personalty changes has not worked for you in your other stories and will hurt this tale just the same. Give us someone with a backbone to cheer for.

The seduction and then control of Angie by Caprice felt out of place as If Caprice is so fucking amazing in bed why hasn't she use those skills on her pimps and johns so as to not have has such a shitty life?

Also why didn't Caprice use her control of Angie to help out Cayden, the only person who has helped and treated her like a human being in 12 years instead of leaving him alone in a very bad state to hang out with Angie? This chapter has totally turned me off Caprice. Angie not mentioning the receipts to Cayden or her mother is a major plot point and should of been addressed in this chapter and is another example of a character not acting in any logical way.

I agree with above comments.

In general interested in the chars and the setting. So I like that.

Caprice's whole 'I own Angie now' thing makes zero sense in context of everything else and don't like. It was utterly out of the ball park why she'd think it was appropriate, why Angie would allow it, etc. Especially after having just explored the sea chest. That whole scene was detractive and almost alien.

Need more on building up Cayden progressively. There were some steps here, which was a positive.

I'm still engaged in the story and enjoying it, but do feel more has to be shown about positive characteristics in Cayden other than being generous with his money in part out of guilt. So far there is little 'strength' to him, even his kindnesses seem to come from weakness. And the whole Angie/Caprice thing.. well that could kill the story depending on how it goes as it's so out of keeping with everything else.

the best thing I have read on here, I look forward to each issue

Very different story line than the usual offerings on Lit, and I am enjoying it for that very reason. I, too, am wondering about Caprice "owning" Angie and where that is going.

I am really loving this story, it has a plot is informative and well written. You got me waiting for the next chapter. So far great , thank you for writing. Steve.

Not your usual quick seduction, wham-bam, thank you ma'am type of story. Nice change. Enjoy the character development, keep the new chapters coming.

Great story, thanks for your work.

Yes, I am still reading and loving this story. Please do not stop sharing with us.

Your story has kept my interest so for and i will continue to read them cause id like to know how it ends

Not my usual kind of story but I am intrieuged.

Still the best story on here. I love the mix of several personal viewpoints of life and how the sex is so real and believable, not the usual Wham, Bam, Thank you Mam.

Please release the next chapters soon, I can't stand the Waite.

"The beaten cuckold craves revenge."

The resident beaten cuckolds are already bleating at the story direction, the rest of us non-beaten non-cucks clearly see the brilliance in the story arc: the deeper the hole the more dramatic the comeback.

Keep going.

This is a good story so far and I lover it. The story is full of feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, angers, and just human interaction. Keep it coming. I'm in for the ride 'til the wheels fall off.

Tittle says it all gi though but hurry too damn good to wait jerk

Love this story. Please don't keep us waiting toooooo long for the next chapter et alia.

this is a great story, not often a story is about helping someone that is down without some kind of payback. Keep it comming.

O K you got me, can't wait for the rest of the story. It has really got a good story line.

well written, and a real engrossing story.

hi i like your stories im a reader. i read if i was a writer i could maybe tell you how to write . all over this site are people who tell the writers they are poor at everything fuck em when they write a story so others can comment then we will see. sorry got on the soapbox. i keep reading i like because the way you write thanks again steve

A pivotal chapter. New feelings and new relationships were established. At first I thought making Angie submit to Caprice would be the beginning of the end for Cayden but I was encouraged that Caprice became more human. Now we have a direction. But which direction? Excellent tale.

"betrayedbylove"

I am tracking this series. This is way different than the normal Loving wife's tale. Cayden is an interesting character. I am enjoying your effort

cayden was tortured and beaten as a child... And severely abused emotionally. Upon finding out about this.. The whore that he saved laughs at his dick size... Says he sucks in bed... And his ex wife and the whore PURPOSELY stop having a good time when cayden enters the room then INTENTIONALLY decide to not have him over for dinner for 1 god damn hour to see his daughter.

What a loser

Harry you only get a small wow. That's because you have a tiny little penis. Thanks for the remarks anyway. Maybe next time you'll read the story.

I've been enjoying this story and how it was presented. Then the author introduced this crazy flipping the POV all around. Maybe he thinks it is cute; I don't. At times it is difficult to figure out just who is talking. I hope he does not continue to do that, because if he does, I'll just give up.

I am dreading a catastrophe. Is there any? Let us wait and see. Score 5

Your writing "style" is irritating. It makes it hard to follow the story as it doesn't seem to flow smoothly. And you're wallowing around in the muck too much. I've lost interest.

I don't understand all the negativity - probably from a lot of people who don't have the talent to write themselves. Personally I have enjoyed the first four parts and am looking forward to the remainder. Are there some errors - surely, but the story line is easy to follow and very interesting.

I nearly quit after part 1, because I couldn't stand how Cayden destroyed Angie .

Glad I didn't ! Each successive chapter has gotten better. Each chapter has added understanding into the characters backgrounds.

If I have a criticism, it is that I think this character building could have been speeded up a little more.

Your best one yet. Keep up the good work.

Seriously, as the below has said, maybe one of your best. Cant wait to see how it turns out.

It didn't seem to flow in the same way or feel like it was fully a part of the others...

Additionally, I have to agree with Del... the things Angie and her mom are doing to him are WAY worse than anything he might have done. I mean he introduced her to booze, sex, and drugs...? And how many people have done that kind of thing...? But he didn't "dump her" in the street (though she was fucking around on him); he took her to her parents' and left her there... and HE was young... what kind of excuse do THEY have...? Especially when her mother KNOWS what he's been doing for Angie and Emily...

And finding out what his childhood was like... Then they STILL exclude him. Why don't they just do him a kindness and kill him...? Oh, that's right, they don't see any reason TO do him any kindnesses...

The picture you paint of Mrs. Bradford in this chapter seems a bit inconsistent with earlier chapters. She seems a lot more hostile toward Cayden now than she was previously. You do not explain the reason.

I think you mean Jane Austen and not Jean Austin. She was one of the greats!

one must walk in the same shoes as them, TK U MLJ LV NV

I really liked the first 3 stories. But this one "jumped the shark" (I hope I used the term correctly.) The two women, the ex-whore and the ex-wife, have joined forces, became lovers and have excluded the supposedly hero.

Only the ex-whore is invited to Good Friday's special dinner. Both women say they are starting to love this guy but keep excluding him.

Then on Easter Sunday, his ex's mother ignores him and only invites the ex-whore --again--to Easter dinner and forget about the guy. The ex-whore asks him if she can go -with her lover- what is he supposed to say? She should know better. The mother, who knows all he's done, treats him like shit. The 2 exes treat him like shit. And he is supposed to accept it. Sorry, I lost all respect for this guy in this chapter. He should never have touched either one again. I could never get over what the 3 women did to him.