All Comments on 'The Damp, Gray Gone Ch. 03'

rehnquist i have read most of your stories and while i enjoyed this one all 3 parts i still find myself stuck on how amazing your ( what you wish for series ) and comparing everything to it so if i compare this story to it i would have to say the story was great through the first two parts up until the last few lines of the second story , i understand the whole rambo thing and it can be fun but not realistic maybe if this story were set in the 20's or 30's if might be more plausible.the story was on the smaller side for a rehnquist piece but i enjoyed the characters as always and i know this is literotica but tp me your stories dont need the sex to be good its great if your horny but your stories feel more like real stories i would like to see in bigger full novels or in movies or tv, you have exceptional ideas for your characters lives and story lines that are just wonderful, you have a gift most people wish they could get your a story teller you create fantasies that are among the best ive read on this site and cant wait to read more from you in the future. i wish you the best and hope to read new stories from you soon , i would like to give you my email address in case you ever want to chat . macleod2009@aol.com

AFTER READING YOUR AUTO-BIO-DESCRIPITIVE OF YOUR SUBMISSIONS, I WILL ADD IN COMPARISION/CONTRAST OF YOURSELF AND DSQ, IS, HE WOULD BE AKIN TO A DEFENSIVE PLAYER AND YOU WOULD BE AN OFFENSIVE PLAYER. BOTH OF YOU ARE EXCELLENT IN YOUR STYLES AND READABLE FOR THE MASSES AND THE LITERATI (sic). THIS STORY WAS GOOD IN ALL CHAPTERS. IT FLOWED AND DISPLAYED DEPTH OF RESEARCH. THIS HAS BEEN TRUE IN ALL OF YOUR STORIES. TK U MLJ LV NV PS HOW DOES ONE VOTE? ON THIS AND ANY STORY?

That was a lovely story. Thank you. It kept me hooked until the last sentence.

Sorry I'm anonymous. And please keep up the banter with DQS! Dave.

You sir are a magnificent writer. You create characters that live and breathe through your words. Thank You for posting them here were I can appreciate them and the stories they inhabit.

Wow, Luke certainly isn't the bragging type, is he? Holding off a freaking army with only 2 other guys?

So, Whitney really didn't know the truth about loverboy until the very end, pretty much like I thought. I didn't know that her last email actually contained her confession, I thought it was just that single line...

Personally I thought that was the most important part of this chapter, almost more than the rescue.

Fantastic story.

Do you remember when The Great Pretender (“DQS1")....

Started introducing characters from previous submissions into WWWM? Many of us were very excited about this development, because the integration of these characters potentially could elevate WWWM to an epic of JACKSONVILLE proportions. Unfortunately these characters seem to disappear soon after their introduction, except good old Lew.

So, what happened DQS!, did Rehnquist steal your thunder by introducing characters from other submissions and making them an integral part of the storyline; OR was it simply your intent to introduce prior characters as props. A betting person would say the latter. Way to go Rehnquist; you have outdone the GREAT PRETENDER AGAIN!! I previously noted that WWWM was a mere SOAP OPERA. Regrettably, I was in error. Soaps are very good at forming unions, dissolving unions, and reforming unions involving non-blood related family members, and friends in endless combinations. This is what gives them their longevity. WWWM certainly does not have this quality. You keep adding episode after episode of circular disjointed descriptions of the activities and thoughts of the two main characters who should have been put to rest some time ago.

End this charade, DQS1, and caulk it up as an experiment that gave you the opportunity to learn some valuable lessons.

You know, all your stories have been fantastic, this is no exception. Why bother to rescue whitney though, she involved herself with criminals, let her burn with them. Consequences of her actions and all that. Luke did much better the second time around, Kristen seems like a very likable person. As did all the characters. Looking forward to your next story.

I completely forgot to mention this:

"I just wanted you to know, though, that I have one last trial coming up, and it's a biggie. I'm going to win it, and then I'll be offered the position I've always dreamed of--Chief of the Criminal Division. When they make me that offer, I'm going to resign. I'm going to re-dedicate myself to being a mother to our little boy."

So, wait. Whitney focused so much on her career and her ambitions of becoming Chief of the Criminal Division, to the point where her marriage crumbled and she cheated, when she finally GETS the position, she's going to resign?!

Think about it, all the pain, all the sacrifice, all she's done to her family would have been for nothing at all. In my opinion, that's REALLY the wrong way to show that she's repentant.

"I'm going to sacrifice everybody and everything to achieve my goal, but when that goal is in reach, I'll refuse it."

What's the freaking point of that? Ugh...

Excellent story. Very well written. Only saw a few vocabulary gaffs such as using "hear" the auditory sense when you meant "here" the location.

There were a few errors that I consider major, probably because of my own military background. I find these sorts of errors are all too common on this site made by authors who seem to want their characters to have a military background. I suspect you have little or no military background yourself in which case you should research the issues to avoid the embarrassing errors.

1. The AR 15 does not use a clip. I blame hollywood for this common error with all its WWII and Korean Conflict movies in which the venerable M1 garand was so prominently featured. The M1 did use an 8 round clip, but every battle rifle since has used a magazine. In fact very few modern rifles use a clip anymore. While most shooter wannabes still use the term "clip", no true shooter would refer to a magazine as a clip especially not a West Pointer. Ditto for his 9mm handgun. If you want your character's background story to ring true you need to avoid this sort of thing.

2. The main character is identified as an infantry officer and yet the citation says he was with a cav sqdrn. No way my friend, that would make him an amor officer not infantry. No way a Grunt is a platoon leader in a cav sdrn.

3. The citation gives his rank as 1LT. The citation should identify the rank he held at the time of the incident. Platoon leaders are positions held by 2LTs. A 1LT would be a company XO so he should have been a 2LT.

Hope you take my criticism in the helpful spirit intended.

...the whole installment got a 5-star from me.

Well written, well composed story with a lasting tension.

When will you write down Whitney's POV? The last e-mail explained some of her reasoning, but not her whole attitude towards her husband. How could a slimeball (as CLD was described in the story) win over her marriage and her love for - at least - her son?

I would have Luke give the info to the police right away. She Is a DA. They would have done anything to save her. Luke had no idea what he was running into. Whitney's confession in a email that she didn't know he would read was weak. I loved the way you pulled the stories together! Thanks for your work! 5!

I gave each chapter 5 stars. I haven't read such an excellent story in a while. This really should have been handed to a publisher. I would like to read the point of view from Whitney.

Regards,

Adrian...

There is only one word for this story, outstanding

Your writing is virtually hypnotic. Especially part one of this story. It left me musing and pondering, like a loop of hurt and confusion similar to that being bourn by your startled husband figure. Impressive to say the least. Thank you.

Gave prior chapters 5 stars. Only gave this one 4 stars due to what I considered a glaring weakness.

How could a seasoned attorney..a DA..NOT know about the history of her "lover?" How could she get involved with a defense attorney for the accused. This leads to disbarment, at the least, and perhaps even prosecution for her. Prosecutorial Misconduct at the least. Pretty weak here I thought.

Still, overall, an exceptionally excellent tale.

Looking forward to more.

As always. You had me hooked from the first paragraph.

It was good to see the redemption of Kristin in this story. She was such a selfish bitch in "What You Wish For". Hopefully, she has changed, and can live the good life with Luke. Maybe, we'll see her again in a future story.

As for Whitney, I don't see how he couldn't save her. If anything happened to her, Kyle would be devastated, and Luke couldn't do that to his own son. Rescue was the only option.

Again, great writing. Thank you so much for your hard work.

You did good. I really liked the way you went back and tied your stories togather and gave Kristin a life. Looking foreward to your next tale.

Damp, Grey Gone began with allusions to the tactics used at several classic military battle of older times, but from the high general point of view. The denouement of this story here in chapter three returned to the military tactic metaphor, but in terms Harold Coyle could have written. Punchbowl is a fairly powerful term in reading military history. To my recollecition it is used capitalized in reference to Korea, but also sprinkles about lower cased in writings of WW II, Viet Nam and other wars. Clancy used a similar scene in one of his early novels.

The Chief Justice has tied this one together well; all foreshadowings, well almost all, have been resolved by the end of the story. The handcuffs as police tool and sex tool were handled perfectly. The two young interns reached semi-closure at the end except - interns, the police sergant and now Whitney seem to be on the shelf waiting for a future story.

What occurs to me from a writing and publishing standpoint is that Rehnquist is rapidly approaching a publishable position with his collection of small city midwest heartland stories. There are publishing roadblocks of course. Can an author without marketted writing credentials publish and sell an anthology as first work? I doubt it using a traditional method. Is there an opportunity in the ePub world? With committment and effort there probably is. Is the Chief Justice's work complete, rounded and of high enough quality? YES!

Loved the story and it really held my interest. I'm just not sure that Kristin is really reformed so I guess this might give you an opportunity to feature her infidelity again in a future posting. I liked your "Rambo" intervention for Whitney so how about some more in the future. I believe it was Cicero who advised that "those who fail to heed the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it's errors."(my translation) I thought that there might be something for officer Adams or even a return trip down memory lane for Whitney. But I guess you might need to leave some material for furture stories. Thanks.

again brother, you are the real deal..........A gift from God.........

Truly awesome story and worth the five stars. Thanks very much. Your writing on this site is superior to most.

Now the bad stuff.

You need to work on the emotional stuff. This story had the same basic theme as HDK's story, Eleanor Rigby. When I read his story, I felt as if I had been punched in the gut and got the shakes. Hated his second chapter as I felt the story was complete after the first. Perhaps the problem is that you and your characters are too intellectual. Repressed emotion - too much control. I think the readers of Loving Wives are emotional pain junkies, me included, and you need to somehow convey that emotional pain a little better.

If the story had started months previous, with Whitney, and all she was going through, it might have been a more emotional story.

Characters were excellent and story flowed really well. As an outline for a novel, it could really work. I especially liked the speed with which the husband handled the marriage. If what is on offer to wife is not enough, then - goodbye. Really, what more could he have done. Wanted to kick Whiney's ass (not a typo) when one of her justifications was her guilt at all he did for her. Since you like to revisit characters, would be interested to see how she grows in future and who she ends up with. Who the hell could compete with what she had.

Expansion to novel, future Grisham, is something to think about. Ideas.

Flashback to his war service. Three accurate shooters against two hundred spraying bullets is realistic. Remember reading about an army sniper holding off a company of NVA for a day. He may have hit as many as a hundred before air was brought in. Name was Carlos -----. Available on net I am sure.

Whitney's seduction and thought processes at that time.

Background on the two police officers and their thought processes which would allow them to risk jobs. Investigation as filler.

Seducer's motivations and consequences. Would be good if he had to service a few big bad guys in prison.

New wife's past and growth. Done in a previous story but should be included.

Enough already. The fact that I think you could publish for paper should tell you that your writing is superior. Really look forward to more stories from you. Unless you don't have the time as you are working on that novel.

I've read all of your stories (probably 3 or 4 times each!) and I've thoroughly enjoyed them all. I think one of the most important points is that the characters are quite believable and the story line does not wander into the realms of implausibility. I found the first two parts of this story absolutely gripping and I was really looking forward to the last part. Unfortunately (for me anyway) this part strayed into fantasy land with the shoot out and the police ignoring the deeds of our hero. I know what you said in the preamble to Part One but, for me, you are a better writer when you stick to realistic people and simple storylines (e.g The Bar and Grill or What you wish for). The big plus (again for me) was the way you entwined the characters from those two stories into this. Please keep writing your excellent stories but keep it realistic

R

Great story teller. Keep it coming.

Just when I am about to give up on Lit., some great author writes the one special story that makes reading the other lesser ones worth while. Thanks for a great story....sorry about the marriage crashing and burning, always hate that, but you did a good job bringing all your characters through that and giving them hope for the future....Thanks,

When the bar and grill came out, I said it was the best story I'd ever read, That turned out to be a lie. Because What you wish for came out, and again I said IT, was the best story I'd ever read, Apparently I'm incapable of telling the truth becase, This story is my favorite now, that will probably last until your next one. Great job, I was on the edge of my seat. I also loved the subtlety of the way you dealt with Whitney, who I still hate. There was no need for revenge, she got her come uppance by being forced to realize how much she'd lost, and whom she'd lost it to.Another excellent job!!

Outstanding and elated that he did not take the ex-wife slut back. She deserves to be lonely for awhile & mature. Hopefully, she gets the act together before she screws up more prosecution cases with her slut behavior. A good solid story of fiction that featured a great plot to read, believable characters and the big bonus was not having to wait months for the next chapter.

Thank you for your story... I have favorited it for myself. I will read your others, I did read Bar and Grill...

How damn stupid was Whitney?

Sophia

Thanks for a believable story all the way through the three parts. I'll leave the analysing to others and just say that once in a while, through all the dross comes a shining nugget, and that is just what The Damp Gray Gone, is a shining nugget that makes Lit worth while. Thanks Joel

Follow it up with another story where Whitney turns over a new leaf and find peace. Riveting stuff.

It is amazing how you took on Rambo Revenge Scenario and yet succeeded in keeping all your characters real. Bravo... Look forward to more from you!!

Why have him finish up with Kristen? He knows she is a slut, her ex- husband has already him, told that she fucks anything with a cock attached to it. Why not take Whittney back, at least she had only one affair. But Kristen already told him that, she loves any cock that she can get between her legs, his cock told him too take the next available pussy he could get, that's no reason to marry her.

The whole story was very good, suspence, lies, cheating, and his ex-military training, all thrown in too make the story a great read

ALSO THANK YOU FOR POSTING THE WHOLE THING WITHIN A WEEK

for a great story!

Really liked it- added tie in, I see west Point every across the river from my window.

This was a good stand alone story. Now that I know, I appreciate the way you tied them in. You have actually found a way to redeem a cheating slut wife! You simply wait a few months or years and introduce her in a new story as a much wiser and sadder woman that we can sympathize with. That's pretty damn clever. Sometime in the next few months, we may see Whitney as the heroine to some schmuck that has a cheating iwfe, who will later star in a story where she is wiser and sadder. As I mull this over, I see the genius in it. Judge, you are the man.

For me, this works better than Q's effort to write an opus and introduce a few million extra characters, most of whom I have forgotten, with the plan to use them in future stories. Let's face it. How many of us will live long enough to see the end of WWWM, never mind the new story about a really strong little weirdo, or some french chick trying to save her marriage?

Now for the way too cool idea, and I expect a share of the profits on this; I recall that Q sent the big dicked Doug to Chicago, did he not? Let's have the Judge include him in his next story and rehab the miserable bastard so he becomes likable and wins the heart of Whitney? Houston, we have a brilliant plan. Given Q's agenda and the number of characters he has introduced, even his grandkids will grow too old to finish writing all of his dreams, especially if they post at his pace! Here comes The Judge!

Very well done. I almost skipped over it because of the title but I am glad I gave it a second look.

You need to go on. Kristen has too much doubt that she can be what he expects and Whittney deserves another chance with what she has gone through. Your an outstanding writer and I especially like how you publish your chapters daily instead of bi-monthly like one certain writer does!!!! Thanks again for the excellent writings!

I truly enjoyed this story from beginning right through the ending. It was a great read and you find yourself right there there with Luke, feeling his pain along with all his other emotions. Thank you for writing and most of all for sharing.

It wasn't until the 2nd installment I realized this was tied to the other story. I enjoyed that you gave Kristin a 2nd chance. I felt sorry for her at the end of the other story. I enjoy all of your stories.

Your stories are the best. I always look forward to the next.

Your comments at chapter 1 were right on the mark. You nailed it...it was the drug trial and the boyfriend all along.

What I like most about this and your other stories is your letting women who make mistakes be OK people who make mistakes. Seeing the God in people instead of the bad distinguishes you from many writers on Lit. Whitney was not a bad person, she was a person who was seduced by an evil man and made a bad mistake.

It's also too bad that we readers have so little reading comprehension ability. Perhaps if we would read the stories for what the author has to say instead of skimming through to see if the author's point of view is a match for ours. If we did that, we might be better able to follow the actual story. Whitney did not take up with criminals or an attorney representing criminals. The asshole who seduced her was not the attorney of record when he began his seduction. It's easy to say she shoulda, coulda, woulda about her relationship. It was implied but not stated that the attorney switch was a planned manuever.

The ridiculous hours she worked would or could have been a factor in her poor personal decisions. The dialogue between her and asshole was missing so we weren't privvy to his driving the wedge between her and her husband. This happens in many, many stories here and it is always the cheating-slut-whore's fault and the perfect male should punish the wife who was loyal and faithful for 25 years for being such a cheating-slut-whore as to allow that to happen. So much "missing" has been pointed out by us readers that to include it all would take a story as long as WWWM. :-)

I have to laugh at all who think Kristen was such a near virgin and Whitney such a cheating-slut-whore. You may not have Whitney's follow up story in your future but I know you will have her be a good person who made a terrible mistake, not a terrible person who made a bad mistake.

Thanks for your work. Please continue to write in your own style.

I really enjoyed reading this story. I was a bit hesitant after reading your opening comments, but was capture after the first couple of paragraphs. Thank you for sharing your talent.

I guess you wanted to write a thriller and you did well. It would have worked if you stayed in the real world - she gets bored and seduced. You could have disclosed what was in the emails he first found - his son would have mentioned the new boyfriend when he was dumped early by his mom.

This was her big case - the chance to be the head of her division - no way she would have gotten involved with the attorney for the bad guys.

Hard time redeeming her. She is a selfish bitch who really never came clean even to herself. Her ignoring her son is too much. Suicide should be her option.

I love your work

Sniper mentioned previous was Carlos Hathcock, with 93 confirmed kills. May have had several hundred more unconfirmed. Was a marine and not army. Bio on wiki.

Excellent story. Thanks.

Loved the story, but a couple of points and I have not read all the 42 comments thus far, so may be duplicating some already made.

Kristen was handcuffed to the headboard, so how did she turn over to let Luke play with her anally? A minor point I agree in an overall sex scene that was smoking hot. Oh, thanks for not having Kristen shaved bare, because I hate the concept of more mature women who shave trying to look like a teenager. I was raised when a woman had pubic hair and for the most part prefer them that way.

The email apology message. I do have just a little trouble with the way that Whitney handled the whole issue. She is a bright, experienced prosecutor/attorney and should have had the intelligence to think through what was going to destroy her marriage. The whole scenario about feeling guilty about failing in her half of the marriage, the inability to come clean and be honest with Luke when the shit was hitting the fan is a bit of a stretch. Sure it made for a good story line and I am not saying that people do not do stupid things that they see clearly in hindsight, but..........

That said, this was another excellent story and I really like the Luke/Kristen combination. You made the two characters fit together very well and that makes a good story.

Can't wait for the next one, but first I have to go back and re-read your other stories and take notes on how the various characters dovetail together.

This is a great story, It keeps me wanting the next chapter. This is as good a job writing as I've seen on this site. If you have and novels, I would buy them.

In the Agatha Christie classic murder mystery 10 LITTLE INDIANS... one of the victims who supposedly gets killed turns out in fact to be a murder because nobody ended up examining the body. Even though the story is now viewed as a classic piece of murder mystery fiction... In MY view this glaring flaw in that story ruins that entire murder mystery. As a result that particular story ends of being one of the all time most hated piece of literature that I have ever read.

The problem with all mysteries is that you have to assume that the facts are the facts. This is not to say that the the hero or lead investigator cannot make a mistake or look something.

In this case it has to do with the husband not going back and reading the entire e-mail from the whore bitch wife Whitney. ( I'M SORRY) This is just a unbelievable act. If you follow the story line.... the ex wife writes and send that email several weeks or months after the end of the marriage. Surely Luke would have at least a intellectual if not an emotional curiosity as to what the e-mail might say.

By not reading the e-mail in ruins and changes the entire story because if he had read the mail when most people would.... The entire story changes in a massive way.

SECOND POINT: The husband's antagonism and distrust of the cops at the beginning makes no sense.

Absolutely none. At first it is obvious that the cops think that the husband has something to do with the missing wife. Yet the history professor proceeds to act in a manner ENHANCES his possible choice as a suspect as opposed to getting the cops on his side.

Given that he is the sole providing parent to the child... wouldnt he WANT to clear hus name as ASAP?

In chapter 2... at the very least why NOT tell them WHY she left and what she said? The husband's actions there make absolutely no sense.

The idiot husband doesn't even tell the cops that this all started when her drug trial started.

Indded later on when cops know that she is involved with a drug trial ... that very reason alone ...given the istory of of what has happened to some prosecutors... would no longer make him the the prime suspect.

In addition the argument used in the story.... that if the husband showed the cops the emails or told them about her boyfriend ... they would charge in and either question or arrest the boyfriend / defense attoreye ... is CRAP. By this time the cops KNOW that the wife.. a state prosecutor at the beginning of a drug trial .... disappearance is probably a kidnapping and/ or somehow connected to the persons inviolved in the drugs.

Yet the husband is afraid that cops are going to just charge in and question the defense Attorney with no actual evidence?

BULLSHIT.

and lastly Please please author dont try redeeming Whitney. In the beginning of chapter 1 she says

"I am entitled to a life of my own". Think about that.

She is well respect state prosecutor. She makes far MORE $$ than Luke does. Whitney is sort of famous. She has recognition. She in fact had a whole separate life outside of her hsuabnd and her son.

Then every night She comes home to a safe CLEAN house with dinner made and man and son who worshipped the ground she walks on.

and she thinks she in a rut?! fuck you bitch

but it always irritates me. A 'clip' is a piece of metal that holds the rim of a cartridge, the cartridges are then pushed into the magazine of the firearm. What you called a 'clip' is in fact a removable 'magazine'. Lord knows, you're not the only one who confuses the two - a lot of published mystery and action writers make the same error. PLEASE... for the future. lol.

Other than that, a fine story. A lot of action, a more or less happy ending, well written and no gaping loose ends! And the price is right.

Thanks for giving us a great read.

Super job, plausible conditions for cheating, a reasonable rescue with a clever way to force the kidnappers hand... Hubby surmised that he'd have to drive to the holding site and check the hostage out to be sure... A more probable scenario for success than snatching the evil lawyer are e reacting the information forceably ... And more legal. Good read! Thanks

A couple of points...I fell in love with Kristen in this story, so thank you for her redemption. Whitney and Luke needed a few more paragraphs to give some better closure to their relationship...after all, the reader had to endure all of Luke's angst and daring do throughout (not a bad thing), so I felt slightly cheated. There was just her guilt feelings and not enough explanation and expiation. Whitney just became part of the wrap up with all the other supporting cast members such as Randy, Faith, etc. Silly, but I felt entitled. The father son relationship was subtle and poignant...brilliant. Further, I enjoyed the "out of nowhere" humorous one liners. Finally and most importantly, I was THRILLED. Your story worked!

I really enjoyed this series. I'm glad Luke and Kristen ended up together. No need to nitpick the few flaws I thought I found as that would only take away from the enjoyment I had reading it.

I understand your criticism to this story on the military issues. It brings up a good point. How much effort is needed by the an author to do fact checking on their stories on a free site (let's face it, it is not like the press does much). It helps the story to be as accurate as possible, but I can imagine it can become a lot of work. I may be wrong but I do not see Rehnquist correct stories on court procedure that much (if you exclude his great essay). I am not speaking bad of you, just remarking on the trade of that even good writers need to make. I don't think there is one right answer of everyone. Seems like there are so many factors to make that call for each writer/story. As for my take on the story. I thought it was great, but I did feel that it lost some of the emotional tension before it finished. Thanks to the author and the commentators.

I just finished this story and it was great. It had some of everything in it. From the eroticism to the betrayal and some good action to a lot of love. You did a good job of telling the story and holding our interest and unlike some authors, you didn't make us wait a year to get the whole story.

What a disappointment! Two days of excellence, then a rush to a God out of a machine ending. Almost like a different author for the third day.

There are stories for which you wish you could award an extra star (perhaps limit the ability to once a quarter), this was such a story.

On the rifle range the gunny says to recruits, "load and lock one magazine", in most of the real world they call them clips.

This story stayed on my mind long after I finished reading it. The wife was a piece of shit who I had no sympathy for. He let her off too easily. The new girl friend (Kristin) had a past that would me it very difficult for me to trust her. It would take me a long time to propose, if ever. She was right when she said she was damaged goods. The story was well written and held my interest throughout. However, like I said, I did not feel good at the end. That's just me. 4 stars

I LOVED YOU WRITING AND STORIES PLEASE KEEP WRITING. IT IS NEVER DULL OR BORING. THANK YOU

Thanks for once again giving us a story that uses the basic cheating wives story and fleshes it out with all the historic detail while keeping it interesting.

There are too few active authors in this genre and way too few really good ones; you are one of the latter. Thanks once again for sharing your talent with us. Dockwatcher

First of all, thank you for a well crafted and extremely entertaining story! It is always difficult to wrap up a story. I know, I've had one waiting for an ending for ten years. Perhaps it is because life's stories never really end ... until they end and then you can't write about it.

For all those who complain about waiting for the next chapter to arrive, you had them ready one, two, three. Now the long wait begins until another quality story appears from a gifted writer. That wait lately seems to be the really long one! There is so much chaff and so little grain.

Thanks for including the 2nd Armored Cavalry. I was with them two decades before your "hero".

I will continue to start my day by clicking on your page to see if a new pearl has arrived.

Excellent story thank you.

your story was an awsome read. i love this happily ever after stuff but your also a gifted writer i think. i envy you and want you to keep it all up.

Your honor this was another outstanding story and I couldn't wait to read it. Thanks for the great story and keep up the great work. I really like your characters. They felt like real people you were talking about. Thanks for the the outstanding read.

First of all Shoe, your piteous rational and defensive of slut Whitney is a joke "in and of itself". The only logical comment you made was; "the cheating-slut-whore's fault" is indeed a fact of this story as it is with most cheating-slut-whore's that grace these stories. What is not logical, is your delusional POV about why is almost always "someone else's fault". You failed and were proven wrong [again] in your previous attempts to defend the slut wife from DQS's epic novel but here you are again, making yourself look completely ignorant [perhaps you enjoy the humiliation?].

Next your inability to even proof-read your own garbage makes it so easy to point out your stupidity. Here is your statement from your comments: "Seeing the God in people instead of the bad distinguishes you from many writers on Lit." Obviously, you did not pass 4th grade English!

Dude - get some professional help and quit embarrassing yourself.

The series strikes me as two really good but separate stories. Like the commentator who wrote "Nice Thriller," I found it difficult to reconcile them. However, that's not a criticism of either one standing on its own; on the contrary, I think each story is great on its own.

As I commented at the end of Chapter One, I still think that chapter one is a powerful, complete story, with a clear purpose/theme and flawless execution. I especially liked how the details of the affair were not revealed and how Luke dealt with Whitney's evasiveness. From what little she did say and from what other characters speculated, you knew or could guess enough. Not only did I feel we had more than enough insight into Whitney, a secondary character; that insight made Luke's thoughts, feelings, and decision very plausible. Regardless of whether Whitney and the unidentified lover had been having sex or not, regardless of the depth of the rest of the affair, regardless of whether the lover had been predatory or whether the affair had developed accidentally, Whitney had checked out of the marriage so deeply and offered so little reason to take her back that Luke just had to cut her loose. Bottomline, I thought Chapter One presented a sad but very realistic portrait of the collapse of a marriage and the challenges faced by the "survivors" (Luke and Kyle). That continued through much of Chapter Two.

The latter part of Chapter Two and all of Chapter Three comprise a rolicking good thriller that delivered on the promise of a different take on the supercommando theme. The premises were pretty out there (hard-charging prosecutor falls for slick defense attorney, and he's not just a horndog, it's a conspiracy!). But this is fiction, I've seen crazier stuff (in fact, I wrote a story based another story involving crazier stuff), and I like how it played out here. If he keeps this up, Rehnquist will corner the market on every LW theme/cliche. Just look at HDK's laments!

But the transformation of Whitney's dalliance/seduction from ordinary to extraordinary, coupled with Luke's sudden and deep interest in the emails after he'd divorced her on the premise that the facts of the affair didn't matter, left me feeling like I'd bought in to Chapter One too much. That's a reflection, though, on how well Rehnquist sold me on Chapter One.

I liked the cliffhanger at the end of the second installment. I wanted Luke to take Whitney back.

The best thing you did as an author was make me care about the characters.

Cladymoor

That was a superbly crafted story. Even if the theme is old you made it hard to stop reading with the well-rounded characters, great dialogue, and action. The only thing I can think of to make it better would be is to throw in some humor, like maybe Ben and Sonny play fetch, and something random happens. Overall the humor would have been just gravy on the best mashed potatoes I've had in awhile. Thank you. I look forward to more.

The description of the professor's emotions towards his wife .. "my eyes were wet", "pang in my heart" ... etc do create the same emotions in the reader's heart as well.

Liked your story though, to me, the ending doesn't hold up. But, based on these two past series of stories, there must be a family man somewhere who can cast off his wife, never look back and mate up with Whitney.

The Kristen reborn is an excellent image for your readers to ponder. I believe in her! Just like Luke. I found it fascinating that she did not have the arrogance to demand that he make an honest woman out of her...

She screwed up her head and then changed horses but never was a man hungry, take anything she could get slut. Whitney did the same thing and then shut the guy down and I believe would be a good candidate for a new love. No reconciliation because she lied repeatedly and destroyed their relationship. But she won't make these mistakes again.

My one beef came up when the lover was revealed that I agree that she should never have fallen for his line and given his back ground should have been very suspicious. In her note she says he is a good lawyer but our hero found out a lot of negative things about him in ten minutes on the Internet... Then we have the question of whether their relationship will be revealed? Will Whitney denounce him and herself ? If she does will she lose her job? Will she be disbarred?

But I am very happy for Ben and Kyle. They were enjoyable people.

I've read all your submissions to Lit over the years and I agree with Star that this is if not your best, your at least second best story. I completely love your work.

Thanks for sharing with us.

Mendon

Realizing that most of all these submissions are stories or short novels at best, your character and plot development captivates the reader.

And you have great gems buried within your prose. One of the other commentors spoke of their favorites. Mine was in this third installment:

"She had her own handcuffs."

Made me actually pause in my reading. A small smile spread across my face. Then my eyes eagerly resumed devouring the rest of your story!

Thank you for your time, your talent and your gift.

If ever there was a candidate for reconciliation it was this. Clearly his wife still loved him. She was also clearly targeted by a real sleaze. He shouldn't have any doubts about who she preferred. And he had had what, one date with Kristen? I would have thought he at least would have gone to see her at the hospital and talked. I think the story would have been better if there was one extra chapter. He should have explored the possibility of getting back with his wife, talked things out and then possibly chosen Kristen. Or not. Really think this one ended too abruptly.

What can I say. It started out as a hauntingly sad story, ended up a rousing crowd pleaser. You can't ask for more than that. And for a shoot-em-up ending, it was about as realistic as you could make it. I agree with readers that you're on a roll. I'm looking forward already to your next piece and I also hope that you can use Whitney again in a future story.As you probably already know, I'm not much on casting people who make bad mistakes in their lives into the fiery furnace of Hell. There wouldn't be many people left around here if we did. I'd like to see her given a chance to redeem herself. And I'm going to go back and re-read your Midwestern Cycle of Stories. You know I read and enjoyed the hell out of the first long one and I've caught all the rest, but you lose track over time (as many readers have pointed out to me :) and so I'll probably go back and re-read them all when I have the time to make connections that I'm fuzzy on. But I'm glad you're doing it because I've always thought that kind of a fictional universe is more 'realistic' because in life there all also tons of connections.

One last thought. We have a lot of good writers on this site, despite the bricks that get thrown, but you've reached a level that most never reach because you're good - and you're prolific. As in professional writing, you turn out product often enough to keep your reader base happy. The sad part for readers like me is that we don't have that many writers like you around anymore. When you're looking back over years, that can be deceptive, because you might have only had five or 10 really good stories in a year, but you don't notice that in hindsight. But I miss Slirpuff's almost daily contributions, and Ohio hasn't posted but rarely recently. And where the hell did HDK go to? And KK just returned but hasn't posted that much. Or Jack Straw? Longhorn is long gone but was one of the best of all time. Josephus apparently is deceased so there won't be any more from him, which is sad because even among very good writers, he stood out as unique. DG Hear still posts and he may be posting as much as he ever did, but we could always use more. Thank God for JPB, no matter what you think of the caliber of his work and I like most of his stuff, because the man is a writing machine, an Energizer Bunny of the LIT world. Anyway, it's great news when new, strong writers appear and start posting. Your stories have raised the bar for everybody and made people more interested generally in this site. I just hope more readers will step up and start posting new stories. You always need new blood.

I should add Mendon Fishers as another newbie who's already got an impressive track record and I apologize for the other good writers I've overlooked in this off-the-top-of-my-head listing of new writers. You know who you are. As a reader, thanks to all of you..

I thought it might be ex wife Whitney.....or rob the cradle Heather....or the police Sergeant with the cute ass and handcuffs.....Well alls well that ends well.

Making up things as he goes... Phil as usual proves he is a fucking idiot...

Phil blathers on " Whitney was not a bad person, she was a person who was seduced by an evil man and made a bad mistake. "

what is this based on? It is Ironiic that down below Phil (zise14shoe) correctly states we are not privey to what was said between Whitney and her boyfriend. OK... but then Phil asserts that the boyfriend was the seducer and HE was the asshole when as Phil states we dont knwow what happened. We dont know what was said.

Phil isnt it POSSIBLE that maybe Whitney went after him?

is it POSSIBLE ? maybe phil?..... No of course not... not in your world view.

in every story you have ever posted ... in any feedback in EVERY post you have ever made... the first words out of your mouth has been "well the wife is NOT at fault".

*-*-*-*-*-*

....."It's also too bad that we readers have so little reading comprehension ability. Perhaps if we would read the stories for what the author has to say instead of skimming through to see if the author's point of view is a match for ours. If we did that, we might be better able to follow the actual story. "....

Phil Look in the mirrior you asshole. You have no basis at for asserting that whitney was seduced. None.

But there YOU are making up stuff in the story that doesnt exists... and YOU of all people are complaining about others??

POT. KETTLE. BLACK . YOU

*-*-*-*-*-*

"....Whitney did not take up with criminals or an attorney representing criminals. ..."

Not a single/ reader poster has asserted that she did.

Not one .

..."The asshole who seduced her was not the attorney of record when he began his seduction. ..."

so what?

who cares? How is that relvant to what she did?

*-*-*-*-*-*

"....It's easy to say she shoulda, coulda, woulda about her relationship. It was implied but not stated that the attorney switch was a planned manuever...".

You cant be this fucking stupid

*-*-*-*-*-*

...."The ridiculous hours she worked would or could have been a factor in her poor personal decisions. The dialogue between her and asshole was missing so we weren't privvy to his driving the wedge between her and her husband. ..."

yet above you state that SHE was seduced. So...IF you are correct... IF...IF... and we do not know the Dialogue... how are you making the assumption that Whintey

was seduced you moron?

*-*-*-*-*-*

..."This happens in many, many stories here and it is always the cheating-slut-whore's fault and the perfect male should punish the wife who was loyal and faithful for 25 years for being such a cheating-slut-whore as to allow

that to happen. So much "missing" has been pointed out by us readers that to include it all would take a story as long as WWWM. :-)..."

mass generalization and gibberish

..."I have to laugh at all who think Kristen was such a near virgin and Whitney such a cheating-slut-whore..."

Wwho has said this? In fact SEVERAL posters have already stated that Kristin is damaged goods and STILL a cheating risk.

No whitney is scum. She actually stated that she resented her husband because he was too supportive . That is NOT a mistake -- that is an EVIL bad person.

First, thanks to everyone who has taken the time to both read and leave such in depth comments on my latest story. I'm not trying to be humble, but I agree with many that this doesn't really deserve the accolades. Yes, Part 1 was the most emotionally wrenching, and I damned near teared up at some of the comments comparing their own situations to Luke's. If that was done well, then that's because of DQS, whose story has had a real impact on my ambitions to get more at the emotions of these situations. I know I pick on him for not giving us his epic faster, but we should all give credit where credit's due.

Second, to Details, I can only state that I was in the Army. My company was commanded by a captain, my platoon leader--and the leaders of 2 of the other 4 platoons--was a First Lieutenant, not a butter bar. The XO was the senior First Lieutenant. So it does happen. Also, the organizational table for the 3rd Squadron of the 2nd Armored Cavalry Regiment contains one headquarters company and three infantry companies. As such, they are technically niether infantry nor armored officers, but cavalry officers. (In my day, they were the infantry troops crammed into the back of the Bradley Fighting Vehicles on their way to battle.) Third, when I was in the Army, we called them clips. Yes, the Army called them magazines, just like they called our boots "Boots, Infantry" and our jump boots "Boots, Airborne" and our BDUs "Uniform, Battle Dress." You are right, though, in that our basic training CO, a West Point captain, did always refer to them as magazines. At least when he bothered to speak to us at all.

Third, and I've already shared this with some others in private e-mails, I don't believe in the axiom "once a cheater, always a cheater." I don't believe women--or men, for that matter--are inherently flawed if they cheat once, twice, or even a half dozen times. I believe good people can, for frequently inexplicable reasons, make bad mistakes. Here, Whitney's worst mistake was not coming clean until after the divorce. (And hiding the 401(k) was probably not the brightest thing she ever did, either.) Sure, her dalliance with the sleazy defense lawyer doesn't make much sense, unless you consider him a persuasive player who preyed on her weaknesses. I probably could've done that better. Still, just what does Kristen have to do to deserve happiness? Should she be forever punished for cheating on Tyler five years before?

I'm sorry, but I don't believe that should be the case. Here, Whitney was a basically good person who made horrenduous mistakes. Those mistakes destroyed her family. She's been punished enough. Only time--and maybe, no promises here--a future story will tell.

Fourth, the reason for no reconciliation is simple: They were already divorced. I know, some people can go through all of the pain and mistrust of a divorce and then re-marry. Still, I've represented four clients over the years in both divorces from the same spouse. If reconciliation is to occur, it generally occurs prior to the final divorce judgment.

Fifth, to DQS, you forgot StangStar06, too!

Thanks again everyone, and have a great weekend.

Rehnquist, imagine my surpirise when I expected once he saved Whitney that they would live happily ever after...NOT. That was a great twist and a great end to an excellent story. Thanks for posting it.

TRY AND WRITE A STROY HARRY AND SEE HOW HARD IT IS. NOOOOO Not your cocok dick head wrting. Plus IT'S A STROY YOU DUMBASS FAG. NOT REAL. JSEUS WHY NOT JUST STOP READIING STORIES ON HER BEFORE YOU HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK!!!!!

as always, very good work!

I just re-read my comment. When I said I don't believe someone is inherently flawed if they cheat once, twice, or a half dozen times, I was NOT referring to separate affairs with separate partners. I was referring to, as here, a short-term affair with five or six sexual encounters. Is it morally bad nevertheless? Yes. But I reserve eternal damnation to a Higher Authority. As for multiple affairs? Well, I think that's someone with a broken moral compass and not a suitable candidate for anyone's loving spouse.

Also, several of you have asked about the title. One of my favorites series is John D. MacDonald's Travis McGee series. All of the books in the series had a color in the title, most notably "A Tan and Sandy Silence" and "The Empty Copper Sea." I had this title in mind by the time I was finished with my outline--his old war injury causing him physical pain during damp weather combined with Whitney's disappearance. I liked the title and stuck with it.

Thanks for another great story. The plot and outcome may not set well for many. However, for the majority, together with myself, it was great.

Harry: "10 Little Indians" is one of your most hated pieces of literature?

That must be one of the longest lists in the world: "Literature I Hate" by Harry in Virginia

Well this story doesn't deserve to be hated by anyone. It's excellent fiction when viewed on the Literotica scale.

I must say that from the start of Chapter 1 I knew that the drug dealers were going to be the eventual culprits. If you watch Law And Order, any anomalous person or fact that is thrown in seemingly for no reason at the beginning of the show is usually the perp or the most important clue by the end of the show.

And btw, Agatha Christie was as good as it gets in mystery writing. I'm not surprised Harry hates her. She is, after all, a woman.

maybe w/ Doug? well, he is divorced, right? Tell us his story. thanks for giving Kristin a happy ending.

When you introduced this story, you apologized for the length.

I realize that some (a lot) of readers on this site have a very limited attention span and can only read one or two pages without becoming confused with trying to figure where the story is going,

When someone writes a story it is the readers duty to read and see where the author is going to end the tale. If we knew where the story was going to end, WHATS THE REASON FOR WRITING THE STORY IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Sure you made some mistakes such as calling a magazine a clip, but I believe we are about the same age and when "WE WERE SOLDIERS AND YOUNG", we were still using the M1 Garand which used a clip to hold eight rounds to insert into the magazine and the common vernacular for the time when the new magazines was carried over and they were known as clips.

My only real complaint with this story is it is too short and ended much too soon.

This short story was a great read and I only hope that the small minded readers who complain about the length of a story will educate themselves enough to realize that more than one plot line can exist within the confines of a great story.

Thanks for writing and keep up the good work.

OH AND BY THE WAY THE CHIEF HAS IT RIGHT. "YOU HAD TO BE THERE" most veterans who were there don't talk about it even among st themselves, because there isn't really any words that can convey what it was really like.

Once again thanks for the great read.

Tom: AKA Vietvet

I enjoyed this three part series quite a bit. But there seemed to be more errors in this chapter than in the preceding ones. Just a couple of examples of these errors: "Remember," I said, my hand on her chin. "I was never hear. Got it?" (Obviously should be "here"). "All with bullets and shrapnel in hour legs and hips and belly," Gavers finished. (Believe you meant "your" rather than "hour"). These types of errors were a bit distracting to the storyline, and I felt as if the last chapter was rushed compared to the first two.

We've already heard from several about the difference between a "clip" and a "magazine." But what about the simple inconsistency where "Rambo" runs silently in the bush but does not feel even a pinch from his bad hip? Did that disability suddenly get better? I thought it was so bad that Luke permanently had to limp when he walked, and he endured agonizing pain at times when he got up in the morning (chapter 01). So how did he carry a heavy duffel (firearms and ammo tend to be pretty heavy) and run through marshy, sodden ground (wet from the morning's rain, as I recall)?

And the idea that police involved in chasing bad guys would let a civilian keep weapons, thus ramping up police liability should anything go wrong, is really pretty far out there. The police certainly did not know his background, and they had no reason to trust him (he was a suspect in his wife's disappearance, at the very least suspected of withholding evidence, which is why he was being followed). They might have asked that he hand his rifle to them to use (police are trained in AR-15 usage, and we found out Gavers had been to Iraq at the same time Luke was there), but no way would they have let him participate in the "rescue."

And Luke did consider all the ramifications, pro and con, of being a vigilante vs. telling all to the police. And he chose the former. So he risked everything, the possibility his son could be dodging bullets alongside him if he messed up, or the possibility his son would be an orphan if both he and his ex were killed. But why would a history professor, who was careful and thought everything through, take risks like that? One other, final thought. I suspect Heather boffed the Dean -- that's why she was so sure about Luke's impending promotion. Randy better keep her on a short leash -- otherwise, she might take after Whitney and Kristen. Thanks for writing.

Thank you for posting within a short time.

Having said that, I'd like to pick up on a thread on a couple of comments saying that there might be enough loose threads to add one more chapter, even though it might not be immediately. You gave Whitney a reasonable emotional problem but didn't let her off the mat. There are a number of potentially clever ways to rehabilitate her and inject her back into self respect. After all, she is Kyle's mother and Luke is still committed to that, so please give it some thought.

Basically, a very solid effort and a very good read!

Lovely!

Tina

The 1st chapter was great, the 2nd not so much - I had difficulty transitioning from the one to the other. The 3rd? It's much like many others written in the same old style including pyschobabble in the ex's email.

It's as if a male wrote the 1st, a fem the 2nd and yet another fem the 3rd - the last as if written by a juvenile.

I don't know what to make of those differences except to admit whomever the 1st writer was has it right and did a damned good show of it. The others I can leave alone for others to ponder upon . . .

'NUFF SED'!!!

...but not great. You've done better. Ch. 1 and 2 were outstanding, then Ch. 3 seemed to have been written by a different person -- just did not seem to mesh. Different metre.

Anyway, I suspect you were playing with us when you you had a couple of maybe intentional typos and one homophone. Among languages, English is unique because it is constantly changing, adapting to popular usage; sometimes good, sometimes not so. But you used one phrase that annoys me no end. "...so I could care less.." As is often used, and intended, it just does not make literary sense. Taken in context, the author always means the exact opposite. By belittling the issue at hand, he is saying he cares so little about it, he could not care any less about it. But as quoted above, he COULD care less about it, meaning he cares some for it. Even some reference books now accept the "could care less" as meaning the opposite. Soon, I guess, its misuse will be accepted as meaning the opposite of what is written. <sigh>

Finally, I have an issue with Lit's scoring process. I've frequently seen a story listed with an orange H only minutes after being posted. This morning less than 20 minutes after your story was posted, it had enough scores above 4.5 to warrant an H. It is not humanly possible sufficient readers could have read the entire Ch. 3 in less than 20 minutes to achieve that score. I have seen other authors complain about the scoring and reader counts here before. This is the first time I could pin it down to an example.

Regardless, I look forward to your next posting. Your writing skill is amazing.

the interest couldn't be sustained in the 3rd chapter. bad police work too. disappointed!! Whitney turned out to be pretty stupid for a lawyer, how the hell didn't she know about Dunlop??

I liked the whole story line. Well written as always from this author.

It would be interesting to see a man with the unique training and historical insights, which the professor possesses, get involved in other adventures. The character is too rich to be allowed only to teach and write monographs.

I could see him getting involved in action mysteries revolving around historical research during his summer breaks.

1 of the best if not the best I've read on lit. and I've been reading for a few years. I liked it so much I am commenting on it which I normaling don't do. Good work

Interesting read, credible plot, excellent character development. I liked the ending - I agree with the author's comment that reconciliation whilst romantic would not be credible in this situation.

Excellent story and could lead to more?

I like that Whitney and Luke didn't get back together. I agree that people who have an affair are not automatically condemned to hell. What they do is break their marriage and their relationship to their spouse. That may not be repairable. However, that doesn't mean they can't learn and move on with someone else. Especially when, as in this case with Whitney, they really understand the pain they caused. <br><br>

I do however have problems with Whitney's "explanation". It's mindless, as she points out herself, and she is not a mindless person. "My husband was TOO supportive of me!" Oh,the agony! And she couldn't talk to him about it? She couldn't hook up with a counselor to talk it through? Having Whitney acknowledge that it was crazy doesn't make it more believable. It doesn't fit well with her character. Of course, this is one of the biggest challenges of the LW genre, finding a rationale for the wife that doesn't make her sound brain dead. Cheating is inherently stupid so ...... maybe that's a flaw we are stuck with just to have a story in the first place. I also had a problem with her refusing to tell Luke the truth about her affair when it became obvious he already knew. She has little to lose at that point and, as Luke observes, full honesty might have saved the marriage. Instead the lack of her openness and honesty was the death knell. It was a needed plot device but it doesn't fit well. Just because that's what the story needed. <br><br>

As to the way it worked out with the cops, I'm OK with it. I do think the cops would have been hand tied in trying to figure out what the lawyer was doing. If the lawyer got a whiff of an investigation they would have killed Whitney. So Luke triggered the process while he was watching. The cops were watching him and he folded them successfully into his plans. I think it's a little vague and weak about the cops explaining what happened at the shed. They obviously reported that there was another person there that appeared to be on their side but got away. That leaves a lot of holes in their story. Who? How did he happen to be their at the exact time they were? Why was he on their side? I would think the detectives butts were hanging out quite a bit. Also, his weapons would have to be registered. They would know what kind of guns were used and that he had such guns. Where were his guns? He didn't end up shooting anyone so maybe no one cared very much? <br><br>

But the fact that he rushed in to save her? Of course! He's been talked up big time as being a hero. This was a given. <br><br>

Strong writing and solid characters. Enjoyable to read. I wish it was longer.

Did the certificate with the Silver Star actually say it was from the Secretary of Defense? Mine says it is from the Secretary of the Army, but that was back in 1951, so they may have changed protocol in the meantime.

I HAVE to reply to this, even though I'll probably be repeating most of what Harry responded to shoe.

"Whitney was not a bad person, she was a person who was seduced by an evil man and made a bad mistake."

This I actually agree with, BUT JUST FOR THIS STORY. And what does the "seduction by an evil man" have anything to do with her cheating? SHE decided to cheat. That the guy had ulterior motives does NOTHING to diminish the fact that Whitney DID cheat.

I'll come back later on the "good person making bad mistakes" bit.

"It's also too bad that we readers have so little reading comprehension ability. Perhaps if we would read the stories for what the author has to say instead of skimming through to see if the author's point of view is a match for ours. If we did that, we might be better able to follow the actual story."

This is indeed the pot calling the kettle black. The facts and evidence in the story itself, that you disagree with, are simply ignored, as are statements from other people. I don't really want to link to other stories but that is incredibly clear from your comments on WWWM by DQS1.

"Whitney did not take up with criminals or an attorney representing criminals. The asshole who seduced her was not the attorney of record when he began his seduction."

Don't try to put the blame for Whitney ignoring and cheating on Luke as entirely the fault of that Dunlop guy. Whitney had been dismissive and bad to Luke WAY before Dunlop ever got on the scene.

It was Whitney's decision to cheat, that her lover was actually a bad guy is irrelevant.

"It's easy to say she shoulda, coulda, woulda about her relationship."

But that is EXACTLY what we are saying. It's so easy to say Luke should've forgiven her for cheating on him with an evil man!!! Shoulda, coulda, woulda....

"This happens in many, many stories here and it is always the cheating-slut-whore's fault and the perfect male should punish the wife who was loyal and faithful for 25 years for being such a cheating-slut-whore as to allow that to happen."

So in your opinion it's not Whitney's fault she chose her career over her family, cheated on Luke, and when he found out, never explained or even just told him anything? SOOO not her fault?

Don't gloss over the fact that it's Luke who does everything for Kyle, and running the household, NOT Whitney. I quite distinctly remember the part where it's pointed out that it's Luke who does everything in the household, and Whitney is almost an absentee parent.

Then again, you're good at ignoring facts that disagree with your worldview. Perhaps you should read the story, instead of skimming through to see whether the author's point of view is a match for yours. And definitely don't make up stuff to try and fit it into your point of view.

" have to laugh at all who think Kristen was such a near virgin and Whitney such a cheating-slut-whore."

Point out who said that. Give me PROOF, shoe. Oh wait, that was only in your mind. The paranoia getting to you? Thinking that people said things they never said?

I bet shoe is a lawyer, his ability to twist words, ignore facts that disagree with his POV, and simply making stuff up, if he were Kadaffi's propaganda leader, Kadaffi would be painted as holier than Mother Theresa.

He'll probably ignore me again. "OMG, facts that contradict my worldview, block, block!" LOL

Anyway, back to that "good person making bad mistakes" bit.

Rehnquist actually can pull it off, without going overboard. His female characters aren't the "I cheated on my husband with dozens of men, and all my children aren't his, heehee" slut type, nor the "I heard from my sister's husband's older brother's janitor that you slept with so and so, you cheating bastard, so I'll tie you up, fuck your worst enemy in front of you, and then make you beg" psycho bitch type.

The female characters in Rehnquist's stories aren't the utterly over the top selfish kind either, unlike in DQS's stories, I have to say. They aren't evil in that sense. They aren't out to actively hurt others.

That NOT over-the-top-ness is what makes me feel OK about Kristin.

What did Kristin do in What You Wish For? She wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She wanted a husband who was home lots, but at the same time make tons and tons of money. When that turned out impossible, she cheated and ran.

By the end of the story, she has realized that she CAN'T eat her cake and have it. She has learned her lesson, and that shows in The Damp, Gray Gone.

Whitney, yes, I can actually see her as redeemable (I would not mind her showing up in a future Rehnquist story). What did she do? She chose her career over her husband and son. Feeling guilty about it, she chose to cheat, instead of getting a less demanding job. She never came clean to Luke, instead of confessing when confronted with it. The email? Barely counts, as the divorce was long past.

I think it was Rehnquist himself who said stuff about "dealbreakers".

These things were "dealbreakers" for the marriage. Not for the person Whitney herself, but for the love and marriage between Luke and her.

Compare these two female characters to, for example, Debbie from When We Were Married (as this is such the hot topic right now, and everybody will know what I am talking about), and Susie from Dig Two Graves by Winterfoxx.

Debbie has let other men feel her up during dances for her entire marriage with Bill, and given handjobs and the like. None that would pass the "husband" test. It's not even the activity, but the duration of it. Their entire freaking marriage. And she thinks nothing of it. "I don't think of it as cheating, and only my opinion counts".

Debbie had very vocally, and very publicly chosen Doug over her husband Bill at the award ceremony. She's dismissed Bill for being paranoid, lied to him, and stood by Doug WHILE HE BEAT HER HUSBAND.

Note that when Bill actually gets a few shots in, all of Doug's friends restrain Bill (whereas they'd happily let Doug beat up Bill), and again Debbie goes with Doug, instead of her husband.

Afterwards, Debbie takes Doug in their (Bill and Debbie's) house, their bed, to fuck, while having a restraining order against Bill. Not to mention that their two children are right there in the house, AND have complained about it.

Debbie continues to rub it in Bill's face every time they meet. Everytime he holes up in his office, not wanting to speak with anybody, Debbie magically barges in, tells him he can't fuck her pussy anymore, and that Doug is awesome in bed.

Susie, from Dig Two Graves, who believes two photoshopped pictures provided by Jakes worst enemy.

She seduces Jake, her husband, so she can tie him to a chair, and then fucks Jakes competitor at work, his worst enemy, right in front of him. Afterwards, she tells Jake to suck out the cum from her pussy, and when he refuses, she squeezes his testicles so hard that he passes out.

When he wakes up in the hospital, he is informed that he's lost one testicle, and the other is permanently damaged. Moreoever, bloodclotting and other medical stuff had occurred and almost killed him.

Worse, he finds out he has a restraining order against him, his creditcards are canceled, and his bankaccount is empty. According to Susie, it was a pre emptive strike. Else Jake would've emptied the bankaccount...

So, Jake has nothing but the clothes on his back, and later finds out his reputation is destroyed as well. Virtually none of his friends want to speak to him because Susie told everybody he's a cheating bastard.

Again, to highlight: Susie tied Jake up, fucked his worst enemy in front of him, wanted him to suck out that guy's cum, and when he didn't, castrated him halfway AND almost killed him.

Now compare Kristin and Whitney to Debbie and Susie...

I agree that a good editor, a fact checker (clip vs. magazine) and a "keep it real" review by a excellent editor would have slightly improved the story.

Maybe Rehnquist should send HarryinVA an advance copy for review. A couple of his points were spot on, its not surprising as Harry, like I am, is exceptionally opposed to cheating whores.

Regarding all the comments on DQS: Hey!, this is Rehnquists story lets comment on DQS on his story's comments section.

I think we can all agree that DQS is a fine writer. His story has just taken a life of it's own. I personally LIKE most of what he writes and check almost every day to see if he has posted another chapter of WWWM.

Thanks Rehnquist, I love your work.

Well done sir. I look forward to more of your work.

Good plot and good character development, and the pace of the story was, for the most part, really good. Sure, there were plot issues that crossed the line of believability, but still an enjoyable and great read. The comments here often like to compare Rehnquist and DQS. They are both outstanding writers. DQS, however, frustrates me because he is such a great talent, but drives his stories in a circle. Every time I read a new DQS chapter, as good as it is, I shake my head with sadness at how great it could have been if only he understood the concept of cutting out the repetition and the tangential scenes and get on with driving to a conclusion the way Rehnquist does.