The Devil Buys My Soul Ch. 09-11

"I have to be going," the Devil said, sounding disappointed. It was crazy. I hated him and missed him terribly. "Give me a call when you think of your third wish."

"I will," I grinned. "And don't worry. It will be before sunrise!" He shrugged and faded away.

I wondered through the room and found Tyler and most of the others on a couch. Shelly was sitting next to him. I looked at them and shook my head. Katia and Susan were also sitting next to each other. They were whispering back and forth.

Lillith was standing off to one side with two guys talking to her. They were obviously making moves on her and she loved every minute of it! I looked at them all and smiled. I realized just how odd it was.

Katia, Lillith and Tyler were all linked to me in their own ways, but the strongest link of all, we shared together. It was friendship.

"Shelly, come here," I said, interrupting everyone. Tyler rose with her. Lillith continued to talk to the two men, but I could tell she was also listening. Katia was torn between listening and paying attention to Susan.

"Why don't I go freshen up?" Susan said, realizing she was intruding on something she had no part in, at least not yet.

"Thank you," Katia said with a smile. "Don't disappear."

"I won't," Susan replied as she stood to leave. "I'll be by the bar when you're done."

"Yes, mas... master," Shelly stuttered as she walked up to me. She was in pain. I could see it in her eyes.

"You're really having problems," I said, surprised by the intensity.

"Lillith thinks that it might have to do with her denial of gratification during life," Tyler put in. "Now that she's a succubus, her natural desires have overridden the iron control of her human form. She's being hammered by all that pent up sexuality." I nodded in understanding.

"Shelly, why did you do it?" I asked. She looked at me with a sad smile and shrugged.

"I loved Tyler and you took him away from me," she said simply.

"What?" I said in surprise. "I didn't take him away from you!"

"No, you did something worse! You gave him someone who could fulfill his needs! That was something I couldn't do!" she cried.

"I told you I had three wishes. I could have used them to help you and Tyler if you just bargained with me!" I replied, rubbing my hand through my hair. "Why else do you think I let Tyler have Lillith? I was hoping it would make you agree to free Sandy!"

"I know," she said with a sigh. "But you have to understand, I'm pretty sure I was already mad, or at least so filled with hatred that I couldn't see the reality of what you were offering."

"And now you can?" I asked in amazement. Shelly smiled crookedly.

"You'd be amazed what a month in hell will do to a person," she said. I shook my head. Was she trying to say that a month in hell cured her insanity? That was crazy!

"And I'm sure that turning into a succubus was soul altering as well," Katia put in. I almost forgot she was there.

"Am I now supposed to forgive you everything and let you and Tyler share your love while Sandy and I are forever separated?" I asked angrily. Shelly's head fell while Tyler pressed his lips together. He obviously wanted to say something, but was fighting himself.

"You could," Katia said calmly.

"Well forget it!" I snapped. "I won't do it!"

"Please," Tyler finally said. I looked into his eyes and saw his pain. It was pain I was causing. I still hated Shelly, but Tyler was another thing altogether. He was a friend.

"Shelly, I want you to suffer for what you did!" I snapped. I turned away to storm out of the room. Yet, instead I turned back and took a deep breath before adding, "And I would make it happen if it were just you and me involved."

"What do you mean?" she asked, not allowing herself to hope. The next words out of my mouth could give her a lifetime of pain or pleasure. I was sorely tempted to choose the former.

"I may have sold my soul to the Devil, but I haven't given up my humanity. At least not yet," I finally said.

"You mean..." Tyler began. I smiled and cut him off.

"Tyler, you've been a good friend these last four months. If Shelly is what you want, then so be it," I said, placing my hand on his shoulder and meeting his gaze. He smiled tentatively. "Shelly, I transfer my ownership of you to Tyler. You are his to command."

"Thank you!" Tyler said, pulling me into a bear hug. I was quite a bit bigger than him, but it didn't matter.

"Just be careful," I said with a smile. "She may love you, but she is a succubus. If you let her, she will fuck you to death! It's her nature."

"Yes, but what a way to go," he laughed.

"Maybe," I said with a shrug. "But you'll still be dead and then Satan will have power over both of you again."

"I understand," Tyler said seriously. "I'll be careful."

"Good! Now, get out of here before I change my mind!" I growled. Tyler laughed because he knew I was just kidding. You couldn't change your mind about something like that. Of course, that didn't stop him from grabbing Shelly and making his way toward the door.

"That was nice," Katia said with a smile.

"Don't you think you better go find Susan?" I said pointedly. "She is dressed like a gym teacher and all the men left are pretty drunk."

"I'll call you tomorrow," Katia laughed as she made her way toward the bar.

'Lillith,' I thought.

'Yes, master?' she asked hopefully. She was still looking and talking to the two men.

'Go ahead and have some fun,' I sighed.

'Thank you master!' she cried in my head.

'Only...' I began, but she cut me off.

'I know, I know, don't kill them!'

'Well, I never really did like Justin,' I said with a grin. He was the taller of the two men talking to Lillith. It was a sign of Lillith's and my growing relationship that she laughed. It wasn't long ago that she would have taken me literally.

"You humans are an odd bunch."

I turned toward the voice. It belonged to tall, handsome man. I had no idea who he was, or what he meant.

"Pardon me?" I asked. He smiled. His teeth were white and even. He was dressed in robes. I guessed his costume was some philosopher like Plato or Socrates. It would explain his words, at least a little.

"You sell your souls for the most inane things like beauty or a healthy life," he replied. So, he wasn't just a guy in a costume.

"To some of us those aren't inane things," I replied, and then added, "Who are you?"

"How could they not be?" he asked in reply, ignoring my question.

"Katia didn't want to be beautiful for vanities sake no matter what she says. She wanted to be beautiful so that others would accept her. Human being are a social animal and we need each other," I replied.

"An interesting view point," he said. "I'll have to keep it in mind when it's her turn to be judged."

"Judged?" I asked in confusion.

"Judged," he said confidently. I didn't like the sound of that.

"I don't understand."

"I know," he smiled.

"Well?" I asked, getting annoyed with his superior attitude. He started to turn away, but he stopped suddenly and frowned.

"Yes, Father," he finally sighed before turning back to me. "I am told to explain what I'm doing here to you."

"Go ahead," I sighed, and then added sarcastically, "I'm all ears!"

"I'll never understand the human need for sarcasm," he said with a shrug. I was tempted to try and explain it to him, but I stopped myself.

"You were going to explain?" I prompted.

"Well, yes," he said, gathering his thoughts. "I guess the first thing you need to know is that I'm the Archangel Michael." I nodded. What the hell? I didn't see why this stuck up pretty boy couldn't be an Archangel. After all, Satan was my best friend Ted. The whole universe was going bonkers.

"Okay," I said with a shrug. "I didn't think God took such an active interest in mankind."

"You'd be surprised," Michael said with a role of his eyes. He looked honestly annoyed. I sighed. This was going to be a long conversation. The Archangel didn't notice my reaction. "If you remember you religious teachings, you know that human's are judged by God when you die. If you are good, you go to Heaven. If not, you go to hell."

"That sounds familiar," I said, keeping the sarcasm out of my voice. It wasn't easy. He smiled, nodded and continued.

"Well, that not true in every case," he said.

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"Please don't interrupt," he said with a heavy sigh. I wanted to scream. How could I like Satan better than an Archangel? I really was doomed in the afterlife!

"I'm sorry," I said with a false smile. He wasn't buying it entirely. He frowned before continuing. Maybe he wasn't as stupid as he seemed.

"Anyone who makes a deal with the Devil for their soul is immediately sent to hell when they die," Michael continued. I nodded. After all, it made sense. "Only, Satan's deals are always a little tricky. Sometimes his deals aren't legal."

"Legal?" I asked is disbelief. He frowned at my interruption, but answered anyway.

"Legal in the sense that they meet the agreed upon rules set out by God," He explained. I felt my heart throb. A glimmer of hope appeared.

"Such as someone making a deal to sell their soul to protect someone they love?" I asked.

"Oh, there are any number of reason why God might cancel one of the contracts the Devil makes," he replied offhandedly. I grit my teeth so bad that they actually hurt. I wondered briefly what God would do to me if I started pummeling one of his Archangels.

"Would the example I just stated be one?" I asked, holding my breath. Michael frowned and looked off into the distance before smiling and nodding.

"Ah, you mean you soul mate Sandy," he said knowingly. I used one hand to massage the muscles in my jaw long enough for them to unclench so I could speak.

"Yes, Sandy! Is God planning on canceling her contract with Satan?" I asked.

"Of course," Michael replied. "There is no way that such a contract would ever survive God's review." I let out a long breath. Sandy was going to heaven! I still missed her terribly, but at least I didn't have to think about her suffering in hell.

"So, she's in Heaven?" I asked. I was just to verify my understanding.

"Not yet," the Archangel replied as if talking to a slow child.

"You know, she's been in hell for a month now," I said, doing what I thought was an admirable job of holding my temper.

"She's lucky! There are some that have been there almost a year," Michael replied.

"A year!" I snapped. He sighed and explained again.

"Once a year, on All Saint's Day, God sends all of the angels and saints down to meet with the Devil and his minions and review the souls they've collected due to contracts made sometime in the past. Those that have contracts that God cancels are then moved to Heaven on All Soul's Day."

"So God leaves those souls to suffer in hell for up to a year?" I asked in growing anger and disbelief.

"Absolutely not!" Michael snapped. He sounded offended at the thought. That was actually good news. "They are in hell, but there is no suffering. The Devil can't punish a soul until after God's review."

"So then why doesn't God just process the ones with a contract the same as those without?" I asked.

"You wouldn't understand," Michael sighed. I thought for a moment and realized he was right. I couldn't think of a single logical reason for God not to process them the same as everyone else. Not unless the argument was that it screwed up the workflow. I found myself saying a quick, silent prayer that workflow wasn't the reason. If it was, then the Universe really was mad!

"Hey, wait a minute! What about Shelly?" I asked in concern. "She made a deal with the Devil and has suffered already! Heck, he turned her into a succubus for God's sake!"

"Thou Shalt Not Take the Name of the Lord thy God in Vain," Archangel Michael's voice boomed. Most of the people left at the party looked over at him and frowned. Thankfully, it was a Halloween party and they were all pretty drunk.

"Sorry, but my point is still valid," I said.

"No, it's not," he said in a more conversational tone. "Shelly killed herself. That took precedence over her contract with Satan." It all sounded silly to me, but who was I to question?

"So, basically, Sandy hasn't been suffering in hell and she will be going to Heaven the day after tomorrow," I restated.

"Well, technically, it is All Saint's Day already, so she'll be going to Heaven tomorrow," Michael replied.

"Thank you, God!" I cried out, gathering a few of my own strange looks from those left at the party. I didn't care in the least.

"As well you should," Michael nodded happily. I expected him to leave, but he stood there waiting.

"What else do you need to tell me?" I asked nervously. He shrugged in reply.

"I don't really know. I was told to stay here and answer any questions you might have," he replied.

"Any questions?" I asked.

"Any question where you might actually have a chance of understanding the answer," he replied with a grin. "So don't bother asking about the meaning of life or what God's great design is about. You wouldn't understand the answers. Also, please don't ask me whether individuals from your past are happy in Heaven. You know any one you'd ask about well enough to know if they are in Heaven or hell. If they are in Heaven, then they're happy. If not, they aren't. It's really that simple."

"Well then, I guess there is only one thing left to ask about," I sighed. I wasn't sure I even wanted to know, but if God was making Archangel Michael wait for me to ask, I might as well get a move on. "Am I bound for Heaven or Hell?"

"That's a very interesting question," Michael said with a thoughtful look. "The deal you made in itself wasn't enough to send you to hell since it was to help Sandy."

"That's great news!" I said, but he cut me off before I could continue.

"Even the two wishes you asked for weren't that bad. They both turned out okay in the end. It's not like God's going to hold your treatment of a demon against you." I blanched as I thought about my two week of debauchery with Lillith after I found out Sandy was dead. I would have burned for sure if she were a human instead of a succubus.

"What else?" I prompted. He obviously wasn't done yet.

"Well, you did help the Devil broker a deal for a soul," he said.

"Katia?" I said in amazement. "I tried to talk her out of it! I even offered to wish her out of it!" Michael nodded.

"I know, I know, but still, you did help him," he said.

"I don't agree," I said with a shrug.

"That's okay, you don't have to," Michael said with a smile. He obviously thought he was being very funny. I didn't see it.

"What about my talking to the old man about his wife Kathy? Or my talk with the college girl? Didn't I help keep those two stay out of Satan's hands?" I argued. Now that I knew Sandy was bound for Heaven, I desperately wanted to go there myself.

"Yes, and that might negate your part in Katia's deal," Michael said. "But then, there is Simon."

"The Baumont Beast," I sighed. I knew it was coming. "I had Lillith kill him." The Archangel nodded. I rubbed my hand though my hair and added, "But how could I leave him out there to rape and kill more innocent women?" Michael didn't bother replying.

"I guess it's time I go," he said, seemingly listening to a voice I couldn't hear.

"Is there nothing I can do to save my soul?" I asked.

"Who know? Mankind has always been a favorite of God's," Michael sighed. "He must have sent me here for some reason." His words were kindly spoken. They gave me hope.

"Thank you," I replied. "Can I ask one more question before you go?"

"Go ahead," he sighed.

"Would it be possible for me to see Sandy just once more before she goes to Heaven?" I asked wistfully. "I'd be willing to give up my last wish!"

"Like I'd take a wish granted by Satan!" he snorted in disapproval, but then he sighed and added, "It's doubtful, but I'll see what I can do." He walked out of the party. I thought I saw him beginning to disappear before he was completely through the door.

'Maybe Archangel Michael wasn't such a dick after all,' I thought to myself.

"Oh no, Michael is definitely a dick!" I turned and saw Satan once again. He obviously was reading my mind. "But he is a well meaning dick."

"I take it that this is why you were so pushy on my getting my wishes in by midnight, Halloween?" I asked.

"I wanted you to waste them on things to try and save Sandy," he replied with a shrug. "Since she was going to Heaven anyway, it really wouldn't matter what you used your wishes for."

"So, you did tell me the truth during our deal after all. You said Sandy was one of God's and she was," I said in realization.

"Of course," he smiled. He then winked and added, "I can't lie outright during a deal negotiation."

"Now you tell me!" I sighed.

"You wouldn't have believed me anyway."

"I still don't," I said with a shake of my head.

"Good for you!" he laughed.

"You were also hoping that I would wish for something that would damn my soul," I said. Satan stopped laughing and nodded.

"The first wish worked out well. You used Lillith to kill Simon. That's a big mark against your soul."

"Yes, but the second seems to have caused no harm," I said, thinking of Tyler and Shelly. "It might even have helped my case slightly."

"Only time will tell," he said, but I thought he agreed with me.

"You know, this is all a bit anticlimactic," I said.

"Oh, it isn't over yet," he shrugged. "You still have one wish and a whole life to continue to screw up." I nodded and smiled. He was right. It wasn't over and I was still just as likely to get myself sent to hell as Heaven.

"So, now what?" I asked.

"How should I know?" Satan replied. "It's not like God keeps me informed of all his plans."

"Well, then," I sighed. "Let's get drunk!"

"Sounds good to me," he replied. "I always hate this time of year. The angels and saints are all a bit obnoxious and it always hurts when God sees fit to cancel one of my contracts."

"Tough life," I grinned.

"And afterlife!" he replied. We both laughed.

Chapter Eleven

"Oh shit!" Satan said suddenly. "Call me when they're gone! I can't take seeing her!"

"What?" I mumbled as he vanished. I blinked hard a couple of times. It was either very late or very early depending on how you looked at it. I was also drunk as hell no matter how you looked as it. The party had officially ended quite some time ago, but I still sat at the bar.

"Ah, there you are!" A flash and bang occurred at the same time as I heard the voice. I blinked a couple of times and squinted trying to make out the woman in front of me. She was glowing beautifully.

"Who're you?" I slurred as I swayed in my chair. The woman took one look at me and sighed.

"No point wasting the dramatics on you," she said and suddenly stopped glowing. "You're wasted."

"Ah, that's better!" I said with a dumb smile. I then frowned and asked again, "Who are you?"

"Mary," she replied. My eyebrows rose.

"Jesus's mother?" I asked in amazement.

"Do I look like God's mother?" she asked with a roll of her eyes. I shrugged.

"What do I know? First the Devil and then Arch... Archangel Michael," I said, having some problems with the word Archangel. "For all I know you could be God himself!"

"If I were, it would be God herself!" Mary laughed. It was a throaty sound, not one you'd expect from a woman. "I can't wait to tell Him this one!"

"Him?" I asked, and then sighed and added, "Sorry, everything is processing a little slow at the moment."

"Yes Him, as in God," she replied. She watched me for a moment as I tried to sort out her words. Finally, she shook her head and took mercy on my damned soul. Mary reached out and touched my shoulder as she added, "Oh, this will never do!"