All Comments on 'The Devil Inside'

This is just the kind of guy that run in to a bullet one day.

that makes this world less pleasant to live in.

Someone should write a sequel where John cuts your balls out with a blunt razor while you are awake.

He better hope john doesnt view that video because if he does loverboy is dead to him and also what he did to mel is legaly called rape or sodomy when you force yourself on the owman thats when the woman didnt give you her consent.

and that if he is found guilty in court can get him time in prison.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga

Don't let these idiots put you off writing.He didn't rape Mel,..she was reluctant a bit on penetration.She sure didn't complain when he was fondling her a bit for years and years.If anything by allowing him to cop those feels, especially as a married woman,she planted the seed for this inevitable conclusion.

There was reluctance but it lasted such a minute amount of time,it was really nothing more than nervousness,what happened after that was 100% consensual by the both of them.

Good characters,the guilt felt was far more believable than if they had both felt fine with it,and didn't have regrets.

Keep up the good work

Good job

An interesting story. Good writing and very natural dialogue. Your unnamed protagonist is certainly interesting. Apparantly he targets married women for unspecified thrills that may be more important to him than the actual sex he has with them. So far he has escaped any comeuppance. I hope we see this character again.

Thanks for writing.

... that so many of these self proclaimed critics judge a story not by the literary skills of the author (not that mine are particularly great), not by the composition or even the storyline. No, they prefer to judge a story by the main character, who, for some mind boggling reason, they believe to be the author! I shudder to think what they would think of Agatha Christie or Hitchcock... It is FICTION, guys! You can relax. There is no real Mel and certainly nobody's gonna get shot and no happy marriage is getting destroyed, Ok? I promise... ;-)

Exciting story. Your protagonist is a pig. You described him very well. He does not earn the friendship. Very good story.

Kick the trolls

Greetings from Germany

Nucleus

As most of your readers have told you Dolphin, the protagonist in your story is a rapacious pig that most people despise. In your self-serving comment 'It's only a story", that may be true but you have to understand that most peope read for enjoyment and your story generates no enjoyment on the part of most people. If you enjoy writing about rapacious perverts that disgust people, that's your choice, but don't complain when readers criticise your choice. 60 year old George

Writer - your comment was interestingly oblique. You skirted the fact that subject matter enters into reader judgement of a story.

It is true you have talent and in several languages it seems, but you avoid the obvious to your discredit.

Your choice of subjects is enormous so when you chose a married woman, who has already granted sexual favors to a workmate to disingenuously allow him to fuck her almost in front of her husbands arrival, expect some fallout.

When each cheerfully avoid any lifelike consequence favoring the poor bastard by your coy prose did you really expect most or many readers to cheer his cuckolding - his blatant loss of respect???

Give us a break - it was exactly as you intended and you hid it from him cutely but with malice of forethought.

While a few readers think that was exciting, more readers think he deserves better than you intended. Drastic unfairness in a cutting way can agitate rather than arouse, but then you should know that by now shouldn't you.

So don't feign surprise in defense, just write it and take it or change more to reality or out of marital. Simple huh.

in a story like this, i, as a reader, am more interested in the PSYCHOLOGY of the author (who is a REAL person) than in the pseudo psychology of his/her characters (who are obviously not real, even if the author says something stupid like, "This is based on a real person," ad nauseam).

when someone SITS DOWN for hours to plot and then write a story about a spouse treating his/her loving (but ignorant spouse) in such a heinous way, and have the violater giggle gleefully over the violated, and then have them at home later, sitting down in front of their kids talking about the kids' school, play, homework, etc. ----- there is something going on INSIDE the mind of the AUTHOR!

sure, they can play the "this is creative story" card bullshit; but there is still something going on in their head: they seem to enjoy humiliation, but in a secretive way. they seem to love being in the violated person (character's) shoes. they seem to want to say to the world, "if this were to happen to me, don't tell me. deep down, I have a thrill for being mistreated. I feel like if my wife came home full of sperms, I am on a high of some kind, whether or not she admits to fucking other men."

now, we understand if the story is VAST in scope --- as in real life --- and such a cruel person is only ONE of the characters of the writer's, and the book/story is populated with a whole bunch of well developed characters and things happen left and right and for each character, some ultimate trajectory eventually befall on all of them,,,, then, yes, you can't really say much about the author/writer,,,,,

but in a story of TWO characters ---- about a man cheating on his wife and rubbing her face in his crotch, having her lick his dick which has just been pulled out of her lover's vagina or having a woman fuck another man just before coming home to an unknowing kids and the kids and have her smilingly say to them, "Guys, I love you so much, I won't know what to do if you were to go away from me" --- in such a story, you have to wonder WHY the author feels the need to sit down to plan, plot, and write like that FOR THE AUDIENCE!

what's going on in that head?, I wonder,,,, because it is obvious the writing was not for SELF-amusement, despite the frequent argument by some writers, that that was what it's for,,,,but even if that's true, that's even more odd, don't you think?

I've been in this situation before, I was him, not the exact same, I didn't force her after all. However, I think you got the psychology of the character just right. During the sex, the penis took over, guiding him, after, his head levelled him out. Well done, an excellent story. As for the 'rape' people seem to be going berserk over, it's part of the characters psyche...

A simple yet rare (here) story of seduction and second thoughts.

The Dynamics of temptation; weakness; passion and of course the erotic sex are all described in detail and bring the characters to life. I did not get the impression that the author endorses the morality of the characters, nor does he condemn them as monsters. As I said, it’s a very good story about humans with weaknesses, not a morality tale.

To you that love this story......fuck you, Nucleus, shut up, you fucking Nazi queer. Dolphin, you don't decide who and if anyone gets shot. This main character is too shitty to shoot. I'd use and edge weapon, paralize his backbone and then cut him to little pieces as he watched. Probably give the whoring wife the same treatment, he sure as hell doesn't need this filthy whore raising children. Oh, it's just a story.....yeah, about two selfish, shitty people that need removing from the gene pool, just like this Nazi writer.

I liked the story. Always like a hero who screws up a bit.

A bit of advice, try to reduce the number of times you use the word 'I' A lot of times you can assume it, or reword. instead of I felt the heat from her pussy, The heat radiated from her pussy'

Perhaps he might think it is funny to scare a woman but he would never get others to agree.

Then he has so little self control that he rapes his friend. No means no so that was rape. Even if later she didn't object, that doesn't erase the fact that she was raped.

In any event, the story is implausible. Much better just to give her a ride and she indicates that she will consent to having a fuck without all the giving her a scare and then raping her. Since that is not all that uncommon, that would make the story plausible. In that event, I could have given it a 5 star rating.

Just one more story glorifying cheating. She needs to be caught. She has been cheating on her husband for a long time. Allowing another man to fondle her is still cheating.

The story would have been much better if her husband had seen the video. Then the question about keeping the devil inside would have really meant something.

Oh, and the law would say that if he inserted while she was saying no, it was rape.

Glorifying cheating without consequences just doesn't do it for me, no matter how well the story is written. You reap what you sow writer. Don't complain.

yes, and the end of a happy home for two children.

If justice is done, selfish brutes like this, would end their lives with no one mourning.

However, it is more likely that he will hate himself for his stupidity, while putting a brave face on for his friends.

Ah, the foolishness of the human race, a warning story for us all to heed.

"God has consigned us all to sin that he might have mercy on all of us."

You poor pathetic macho men seem to forget that this is all make believe. In other words, fiction.

The morality of the plot is one thing but the huge redeeming feature is just how erotically well written this story is. I haven't read many stories that capture the sheer excitement of a seduction; how a woman can be changed from an intention of no more than mild flirting, to intense sex by incremental passion. Well done.

Fucking prick asshole probably destroyed his friend's marriage. Although she was a willing partner it was his persistence that caused the tryst. I put all the blame on him. Fucking prick.

how many times can some one say no before it is accepted.

A very erotic story. We all make mistakes, and but for mistakes, this category wouldn't exist. He's a predator, whether he knows it or not, and she let things get a little too far along at work before the drive to the waterfall and pool. Familiarity does breed contempt, but it also gets people past the stopping point as a prelude to sex. If people didn't make mistakes, this web site wouldn't exist, and let's face it, all of us readers are living somewhat vicariously through the characters that the authors create.

That when a female saysNO she doesn't mean it. The wife was less than forceful in maintaining her distance and willingly gave in.

Guilt will cause her to be distant at work, co-workers will notice, they will pry, she willnconfide in one. Then the word will spread. Your main character is amoral. Your writing is good

For those of you believing in retribution and unsatisfied by this story. Visit Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com. Serial cheating wife exposed. Details are true. College instructor in Helena Montana harassed student intosex then by her own words enjoy the destruction of his life. Though she lost instructor position because of info scales are far from balanced.

Visit profile, friend it, spread theword. She has bragged about conquests time for otherd to talk about her

I have read all of this writer's stories and have enjoyed most of them. I especially like the author's work because many of his main female characters are married redheads, which describes me and allows me to place myself in his erotic fantasies. I find it strange that so many commenters complain that characters are punished for their moral short comings. Really people? This is erotic fiction; not the Bible. Looking forward to even more from this writer.

Would consider a skank fucking a piece shit (friend!) To be a hot story

you're the asshole in the story and your dead wife is the whore scank!! Hope you live to be 110 and remember all the times she fucked other men and than came home and you cleaned her out!!

I've mocked many protagonists in the past but this is a whole new level. This antagonist is a cunt of the highest order

Sick twisted story

I got part way down the first page and was too bored to continue. Checked comments to see if I was making the right call. Thanks.

...a piece of crap.

Screw your ‘just a story.’

Fuck your “It is fiction - I am not the character!”

It is clear what you chose to gleefully invest in -

The world is a worsened place with you, and the dregs who embrace your garbage, stinking up the place.

Couldn't even finish this POS.

Fair enough, the protagonist is a piece of shit. But the 'arrangement' agreed upon by everyone was that he'd scare her (ie, pretend to try rape her) before taking her to her birthday party? All the characters seem to be living in cuckooland, and as such, the story doesn't really evoke much emotion or interest.

Great! The man is a friggin rapist

The devil is evil and is on surface. All knew it and the damsels much more. Yes damsels did not know about video and so worst part of devil but that does not make her evil spirit any less evil.

Such stories break the faith in relations and harm many innocent relationships by suspicion.