All Comments on 'The Doctor Will See You: Ch. 01'

Since this appears to be your first attempt, I will go easy on you & I hope others will too. I understand how hard it is to lay yourself open (don't mean in the exam room) & you have done a good job with the story itself, seriously I'm sure others will want to read more - I know that I do...

However, please consider having someone else proof-read your submissions before turning them in for publication. NO writer is his/her own best editor, & I certainly know that also applies to me. Do not get discouraged &/or let negative reviews stop you, you definitely have talent. You just could benefit from an extra pair of eyes.

There are many experienced writers here who volunteer their time & energy as editors, and you should try to find one who's style compliments yours. As good as this was, it could be just a little better.

If I could give 1/2 stars you would have gotten 3&1/2 - its better than a 3, not quite up to a 4 yet... but with a little work you could get there, or even more!

In any event, Please keep writing!

Totally agree with anons comments. Another pair of eyes would definitely benefit you. Another suggestion would be to slow the pace down a little bit. Rushing toward sex isn't always a good thing. :-)

Nice first attempt though.

I want to be honest without being mean. So, here goes: You really need to use your Grammar and Spell check. There were too many errors that would easily have been corrected if you had utilized these tools. I agree, if you decide not to use the editors via Literotica, at least have someone take the time and proof read for you. I almost stopped reading your story early on because of the number of errors and the simplicity of the corrections to be made. It makes it appear that you don't care enough about the reader to take the time and present better work.

However, I'm glad I read your entire submission. The story itself is good. I'm sure on your future submissions you will do much better. Please keep on writing, it was a good start. I believe it might be your first attempt, so please, in future writings, utilize the tools available to improve your writing skills and general presentation of your work.

I've been searching for a story like this! I loved the concept - a doctor crossing sexual boundaries with his patient?? So hot! I do agree with the anons though, an editor would take your writing from a 3 to a 5. I hope you continue to write, and I can't wait for the next installment!

teacher used to put at the end of my writings, "Good effort but More care needed"

Love stories like this very erotic helping you to strip, nice old doctor, then having a play with your breasts etc ,......i loved the story & cant wait for part two....bugger the rest of the negative comments on here, you carry on with parts 2, 3, 4, etc well done girl.

Waiting for Chapter 2.....