All Comments on 'The Dream is Reality'

So tender.

Please tell me more.

Melanie, I really enjoyed your story and hope you will post many more tales about you and your big brother.

I find it hard to find anything erotic any more

Badly written, (almost certainly by a 14yo boy), with clunky, ridiculous & impossible dialogue.

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A complete waste of time!

Good detail of the brother-sister fucking. My cock got hard and that's what I wanted. It felt good. Thanks.

This was a pretty good first effort, very soft and sweet. I think with a little tweaking, you could become quite the author. Switch the telling of details a bit, however. You told us how you took a pee and a dump, and about the water and how hot it was andhow you had to add more cold water to make it bearable, yet you seemed to gloss over the "good" parts.

A little more dialogue, and maybe a little more background on yourself and why you want to make love to your brother. I had the impression, at first, that you were a virgin when this happened, however, from the telling it became obvious that you weren't. And, unless you've had a few previous adventures in you're cute little bum, I don't think Eddie, as averaged size as he is, would have entered you so easily.

This seemed like it was rushed, like you wrote it and submitted it all in the same day because if you didn't you would have lost the nerve. Take your time, write it out, read it over and then have someone else read it over (if possible back to you so you can hear what they see), and then make adjustments. Like I said, this was a solid first effort! WK

very sweet story .. great effort ..

This a suppose to be a story...a fantasy...an EROTIC story and/or fantasy and "I started running hot bath water and lift up the toilet seat. I sit on there and I take a pee and a DUMP." killed the mood for me.

The dialogue and word choice are a bit stilted at times. With a good editor, you should be able to improve your writing considerably. You have very good raw talent.

Regardless what story is told, not everyone will like or love it....that is society! If everyone loved all stories there would not be a book left in the book stores! I for one found the story to be a tender moment for two young people to experience and enjoy; true some refinement could be had but that come with writing experience and so far you are off to an excellent begining! When I read and it arouses me then it provides the satisfaction I'm looking for. I truly enjoyed your story and I rate you highly and look forward to reading more from you :) Thanks for providing the feeling and openness that many wished they had.

A 7-inch cock isn't average, it's big.

this story is very unreal and stupid!

It sounded kinda robotic... Horrid grammar usage too. Sorry

Pick a tense and stick with it. And you writing of conversation - "Eddie...can you stick your penis inside of my bum?" I mean for goodness sake. Nobody would ever speak like that, expecially while having sex.

damn made my brother's cock harder than hel !! ty

I can't help but think sibling love is the truest type of love there is. Such a nice story.

B757flyr at american on the line place.