The Editor

In she office she tossed a third copy to Olivia and they began to quickly scrutinize each page.

After forty minutes Olivia said, "Perfect" and closed her copy.

Two minutes later after checking the sequential number of pages for the second time, to ensure the 'collect' of sections had been bound in the correct order, Tessa agreed. She called the shift manager of the printing facility.

"Yes Tess."

"Let her rip Alf. Take care of my first baby."

Alf laughed and said right, have a happy day. The guys in the pressroom knew that Tess was the only editor who knew their names and Alf thought she was his little darling.

"Right, let's go to breakfast honey," Tess said to Olivia. "We'll sink a half bottle of champagne and then after eating it's back here to go over the final inputs for the July issue and to make binding decisions of the August issue."

"Oooh, champagne. You're the best editor I've ever worked with," Olivia smiled expansively.

Fargo raced home with three copies and tossed two of them to his parents who were waiting to start breakfast. No one went to the table until twenty minutes later.

"What the fuck is this?" Benton had said, staring at the front cover.

"It's a masterpiece in creative thinking and cover design you old stick-in-the-mud faggot."

"What?" roared her husband.

"Calm down. Fargo told me it's the in word to express mild disapproval."

"It's slang for a male homosexual you stupid bitch."

"Oh have I really misdirected that term," Juliet said, eyes narrowing. "Call me a stupid bitch and you won't even be able to pee out of that dick of yours."

"Guys, peace please and thumb through this issue and tell me what you think."

Later Benton tossed his copy aside and said, "That Tess has got everything on the button. The entire mag has a fresh look and is screaming out to be read. I like it and you may care to tell her that."

"Mother?"

"It is brilliant, absolutely brilliant from front cover right through to the back cover although that's an advertisement. What numbers are you printing?"

"Three hundred and seventy-five thousand, what used to be our average print."

His mother smiled and said, "Oh that's grand."

"No enough," said his father.

"Start breakfast without me... I need to pee."

For once his mother didn't berate Fargo for use of inappropriate language in her house.

He called the printing works and spoke to the shift manager whose name he couldn't recall.

"Yes Fargo."

"I've decided to increase print numbers of this June issue of Oh Really to 400,000."

"I'll have to have that in writing."

"Of course you will. Just get the paper stock in place. I'll send the requisition change to you as soon as I get to my office within the hour."

"As good as done Fargo. Isn't that cute Tess a delightfully young lady, really winsome?"

Fargo cut the call without answering.

It was that lack of innate grace and indifference that already had reminded Tess she ought not take up with him again.

Tess's team at their homes preparing to leave for work would have become excited when watching the male host on the city's most popular Breakfast TV Show hold up a copy of Oh Really magazine, couriered urgently to him by Tess. He asked, "What the heck is this?" pointing to the front cover.

His female co-host said, "It's a gold bar on an entirely black cover and is a sign representing greed and desire on one hand, and on the other hand telling women this magazine knows what it's about and what its role is in interesting her as a reader."

"You could have fooled me."

"Yes well as any intelligent woman would know, this magazine is not meant for fools. Males shouldn't read it."

"You..."

"Ah-ah," his co-host interjected. "That B-word is one of our banned words on TV."

Tess and Olivia were back in the office just in time to catch that interplay on TV.

Olivia said, "Oh god, that was brilliant for us. A huge number of women would have been watching that as they would be waiting for the 8:30 news and weather report."

"Yeah, possibly a million bucks worth of free promotion. Well I'm off into hiding. Could you please hold the fort and oh, could you get Lenora to email everyone in the company to be watching that TV channel at 6:45 this evening when they'll find what Glen Finch thinks of me and our magazine."

"You mean you've got the 15-minute prime spot with just the greatest interviewer ever?"

"Less the time for ads darling. Glen might be a handsome hunk but he falls short of being the greatest interviewer ever."

"Well everyone has an opinion. Have a lovely day at the beauticians."

"Oh thanks you sneaky rat. I've been trying to give the impression I'm an all-natural girl."

"Very few of us are Tess. Try to get Glen to date you."

A stretched limo called for Tess in plenty of time and Eve and Kristen were allowed to ride with her and they had seats reserved for them in the studio's live audience section. They were required to find their own way home.

They arrived and were introduced to Glen Finch who took a double take of his female guest and said lamely, "You look even better than your photo."

"Thanks Mr Finch. Take me to supper this evening if you wish."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm attempting to set up a date. My researcher tells me you are a divorcee and running with no particular women at present."

"Well yes but I don't date people I interview."

"Oh really Mr French? What my researcher found tells me something different."

He looked uneasily at Tess and said to call him Glen. "I would very much like to take you to supper."

"Would you require a chaperone? I can become rather sexy if provoked."

Kristen and Eve and several other people listening to this exchange focused sharply, waiting for Glen's reply.

"No chaperone is required Tess but be warned my resistance can crumple very easily."

Everyone laughed and that was that. Glen was led away.

The first 15-minute guest was a presidential aide who was slightly interesting.

At the end of the interval Glen strode back on stage and turning to the wing said, "Now for my next guest, the dynamic new editor of Oh Really magazine, Miss Tess d'Urbervilles.

"I'm here Mr Finch, behind you. I chose to enter from the opposite wing because that's how I am. And actually my name is Tess Rimes spelt with an 'i'. Your expectations of me must have taken a real dive?"

This had of course being rehearsed during the break for advertisements and Glen was delighted Tess agreed to play along.

He turned to her and said, "Oh look at you. I had the impression editors of women's magazines were more bovine in appearance, having heard them refer to their competitors as old cows."

"That's utter nonsense. Most are better looking and possibly of higher intelligence than most of their readers. That's what I'm up against Mr Finch. Now could we get on with it; I'm here for you to make and ass of me in the hope people will buy my magazine."

"What magazine is that?"

"I've forgotten. I haven't been editor of it very long and this is my first issue."

(The audience laughter was huge).

"The magazine I have here is called Oh Really. Does that ring a bell?"

"Oh yes. A failing magazine and I was brought in at a miserable salary to pump it back up. I think you might ring my bell Mr Finch. Will you date me?"

"What tonight?"

"Yes, you won't remember me within an hour from now unless it's tonight."

"Okay, tonight's fine. Now back to the magazine. Why the gold bar pictured on the front cover instead of the face of a pretty woman, your face for example?"

"Oh just to show that edge of different. Are you aware women crave to be adorned in gold?"

"My mother doesn't."

"Well with few exceptions but I've yet to meet a man who knows what his mother craves for. Guys are just not interested in finding about. But daughters find out."

"So will we have more black covers?"

"Yes there will be eleven more for a 12-issue series. If I were boastful I'd say they probably will be selected to go into the Magazine Covers Hall of Fame because of their originality but clearly I cannot say that in fear of being boastful."

"So what do you fear?"

"Only two things really."

"Ah I bet one of them is men?"

"Yes I share that fear with all women though with me it's not particularly intense."

"And the other thing you fear?"

"Getting it wrong, for example allowing the word menstruation being published as womenstruation."

"Oh please could we talk about something else?"

"What do you fear most Mr Finch?"

"You just mentioned it. Oh goodness, I feel faint."

"I'm delighted to hear that Mr Finch. Men are so callous and lack understanding."

(Cheers from females in the audience).

"Tess you have removed cooking from your illustrious magazine and articles on house cleaners, women's health and oh yes, dealing with problems with raising teenagers and problems with coping with the oddball ways of grandparents."

"Who do you know who buys only one magazine a month Mr Finch? Those profound topics of mass interest appear in other magazines so why should we mindlessly replicate? We regard our hardcore readers as intelligent, articulate and know how to grab a recipe off the Internet if they're not eating out. Their pharmacists can tell them all they want to know about trends in sanitary pads so why should we?"

"Oh I feel faint. I need to sit down."

"You are sitting down Mr Finch. We must be running out of time. Ask me something that will sell Oh Really magazine."

"When will Oh Really magazine be closed down?"

"Oh perhaps when you are a patient in a facility for old men suffering incontinence Mr Finch."

(Huge laughter)

The camera view switched on to Glen Finch.

"Well there you are ladies and gentlemen. I'd been waiting for a long time for a interview subject to come forward who looked suitable to ab-lib an off-the cuff encounter with me like what you have just seen. I recognized from the moment I first spoke to her Miss Tess Rimes, the new editor of Oh Really magazine, she had that slight wackiness to succeed in creating that farce and the intelligence to keep it going, because we only had time to rehearse her entrance. I think if you read her editorial in the June issue of Oh Really that began circulating today you will be confident when she says she aims to create that edge of difference because she packs the talent to achieve that. It has been a fantastic honor to have you on my show Miss Tess Rimes. You are invited to have the last few words."

"May I kiss you?"

"You certainly can. Goodnight everyone."

The credits rolled with Glen and Tess shown in center screen kissing reasonably chastely. Then slowly she lifted her right foot, bending from the knee.

The audience's clapping increased in volume and tempo.

The reaction in the Mellow's household was interesting.

Juliet: One would have to think that young woman was born on the stage. She was wonderful and had Glen Finch absolutely stretched to keep up with her. They did brilliantly and I think enough about the magazine was worked in to make that appearance very valuable for us.

Benton: You know I'd forgotten just how brilliant TV is for a bit of slapstick. Those two did brilliantly. Yes I agree with you Juliet. That produced a valuable result for us but not as much as a straight interview may have.

Fargo: I had forgotten just how lovely Tess is. Being thrust into this huge position of responsibility is completing the crossover for her from being a country innocent to a metro sophisticate. I think I should bring her home mother before she is lost to me.

Juliet: No we agreed two months without fraternization. There is still another fortnight to go.

Sadly for Fargo perhaps, the inability to shorten his embargo on dating Tess without going against her mother's wishes, gave Glen the inside running.

Newspaper, magazine, radio and more TV interviews followed and created Tess into a minor celebrity. She'd enter restaurants with Kristen and Eve in tow on nights when they were not out with their boyfriends and they would be greeted warmly, Tess by name, and shown to a prime table. People, mostly women, would drop by to say a few complimentary words.

The July issue with the front cover in black with a 'wash' of a woman's neck down to the just a portion of the rise of her breast and wearing a necklace in great clarity, clearly showing diamonds, telegraphed the theme of the cover story.

It was wonderful coverage, crammed with short articles about the history, marketing and wearing of diamonds and interviews of women who choose to wear diamond jewelry and why.

The feedback was excellent. The first issue of 400,000 issues had sold out, as was to be expected with some casual readers interested to see what the fuss was about, but the Diamond Issue as it was called, achieve sales of over 355,000, a significant improvement and bringing confidence that upturn might become stabilized at around that figure.

Great secrecy surrounded the August issue, much tighter than ever before. Fargo, who'd failed with three invitations for Tess to join him for dinner and once to join him and his parents for a weekend lunch was rather angry with her. When he couldn't find out the theme for August he went to Tess's office and was told what the theme was.

"Oh no," he groaned. "You should have come to me about this."

"Why, my brief was to save the magazine, not to wait until I was told what I can and cannot publish. Would you prefer me to resign?"

Fargo swallowed and waited to ensure panic didn't show in his voice.

"No of course not. Keep on the way you are going. What will the September theme be?"

A focus on flowers for the house, he was told, and said oh very acceptable.

Tess said, "I suggest we print 420,000 copies for August."

"No way. That's getting up within sight of the market leaders apart from the leading two. We've never had a mag issue sell that many."

"There has to be a first for everything Fargo. Oh I can come to lunch this weekend if the invitation can be renewed. Your father has instinct. Perhaps I should ask him to authorize printing 420,000 copies. It will sell really big Fargo. Oh I haven't accepted your offer of dates because I'm dating Glen Finch."

"That TV jerk?"

"That gentleman who hosts the interviews half hour every week night."

"God what's happening between you and me?"

"Oh perhaps I have been hit by maturity Fargo?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I'm now attracted to men of greater maturity than you and in that context maturity doesn't equate to age."

"Jesus. What am I supposed to do?"

"When out the other night I believe I saw you with Stefani Holden. Why don't you fuck her? I'm sure every other guy who dates her does."

Fargo left her office, muttering. He slammed her door shut and the top pane of glass cracked.

Tess was sorry she'd upset him.

He called a minute later and apologized for slamming her door.

"It cracked the top pane of glass."

"Leave it to me. I'll call maintenance now."

"Thanks. I'm sorry I upset you with that inappropriate comment."

He laughed and said thanks that he'd always been a poor loser. "I'll take the punt and requisition 420,000 copies, unless you care to reduce the risk and ask for a few thousand less?"

"No four-twenty is fine. I'll manage the controversy. Remember I am trained in public relations including standing in the heat and meeting opponents head on."

"Oh fine."

"Don't dare change you mind darling. I aim to scare the shit out of my opposition magazines including those who think they are on a level playing field with us. And the other thing we are saying is, advertisers and advertising agencies take note."

"Yeah quite. You are doing a great job."

CHAPTER 3

To her delight, Tess had found going out for supper with Glen Finch after her TV interview he was just as bright and pleasant as he had been in the TV studio. But why had he been involved in a divorce... had they fallen out of love, or one or both of them transgressed, or had their being bullying or...?

She sighed and said leave it.

At the restaurant he had a full dinner because he never ate before a show. She was too tense to really eat so settled for an entrée and desert. She had one glass of wine and he had two, leaving what was left in the bottle.

Outside the restaurant he hailed a cab and opened the door for her, saying goodnight.

She was so disappointed and she'd being looking forward to finding how good was he at kisses and cuddles.

"Thanks for dinner. Please kiss me."

He hesitated and then delivered on the kiss, it being a fair representation of a kiss but was without passion.

Oh dear.

She smiled and waved as the cab rolled off and another cab stopped behind them. She wondered where was he off? To visit his secret girlfriend? That had been meant as a joke but reality changed her mind.

Oh heavens, she whimpered silently. How crass of her, forcing herself upon him. The poor girlfriend probably had dinner waiting for him.

Tess was almost asleep at 11.15 after watching TV with Kristen when he phone went.

"Yes this is Tess."

"Hi, it Glen. I've finished up having a bit of a rough night, having to tell this woman I've been seeing it's over. I didn't feel I could begin attempting to date you while she was waiting for me to call."

"Oh I can understand what a difficult situation that would be."

That comment appeared to cheer him and he said, "The bitch was too demanding anyway, always wanting to know when I'd be seeing her again, when would I be bringing her a present I'd allegedly promised her some months ago. I'm glad to be rid of her."

Rather shaken by that outburst Tess was unsure of what to say but knew she ought to make an attempt.

"I'm sure it must have been difficult for you?"

"It sure was Tess. I wish I'd never met her. She's a friend of my sister's and came to a party at my sister's place. I arrived late and this Amanda just went for me and I scarcely had time to grab a drink before she had me in the laundry and was pulling out my cock."

"Oh how awful," Tess said, wishing he would stop talking to her like this.

"Well she turns out to be the best cock-sucker I've ever had. She gave me her address and two nights later I was banging her when I heard the front door open. I said to her that someone has come in through the front door and she said Christ, that would be her husband..."

Tess switched her off her phone and sat dismayed. Why had the jerk being telling her of his troubles in such intimate detail? She knew she should have nothing more to do with him.

Her phone went.

"Yes," she said, knowing it would be him.

"Tess I'm sorry. I got carried away and began unburdening to you. I really promise I'll look up to you and respect you and will never lay a finger on you in anger. I only slapped that stupid bitch tonight because she was hanging on to me, refusing to let me leave after I dumped her. I..."

"Glen!"

"Oh sorry, I'm doing all the talking. I only called back to apologize..."

"Glen I never wish to see you again or hear from you again and if you attempt to harassment you must accept the consequences. Goodbye."

Tess switched off her phone and sat on her bed shaking. God his poor wife; living with Glen must have been hell.

After returning from the bathroom and climbing into bed she thought that Fargo compared with Glen appeared to be a saint. Fargo could be rather indifferent at times but he could be weaned out of that. She knew he played around with other women, apparently indiscriminately but then he had no one to really love and to return any affection he could muster. Yes, she ought not write him off as a lost cause.

The next morning at 7:00 the first few copies of the July issue came off the press and she looked at the thin limp piece of white membrane in the small picture on the front cover and checked the spelling of the single word beneath it, 'Condoms'.