All Comments on 'The End of the World'

I read some of your other stories and enjoyed them but of late it seems you have a problem with black men and women.

All blacks are not criminals and std carriers.

So many problems here. The alternative stories seemed to have almost no connection to the start of the story. Most notably, the fact that Derek was drugging women and pimping them was glossed over and in most of the parts he was treated like a normal guy you could have a nice dinner with. And the hypnotism was barely mentioned and seemed to have no effect on the plot whatsoever.

But the worst part was the racism, typified by the Mexican barbeque joke. Black guys are a 1000 times more likely to have STDs? Give me a break. If you were trying to have the main character be racist instead of it appear to be the opinions of the author, you should have done it better.

You have potential as a writer, but you really need an editor or two to save you from your worst excesses which include frequently non-logical plots.

Slow down your frenzy of posting stories and have someone with a critical eye look them over first!

Grey Eagle:

Normally I greatly enjoy your stories; However this one was not one of them. It was disjointed and definately not in sequence. It skipped all over the map. True there was a common thread but from that thread all bets were off. To try to write multiple endings has been something that several authors have attempted; few have succeded. The story was nice, the theme great, but the story was confusing and ran the gambit. Ronnie W.

when coming to sex white men self esteem is low when black men are involve.why i ask myself,the white women controls the white race.so saying that,she the driving force in who do who.most blacks leave white women alone because they fear for their lives.hassassment and killings who want that so most walk away from the white pussy the white man love so much.white women are trophy to the white man and he protect his women, but they are so experimental and vain they try anything to get to the highest mountain in sex.that where the black man comes in the picture,see the stories being told of black men sex to be the best and biggest cock.another lie that was put out there and we who fuck white women thank you for that story.so we as a black in this country have no control of white women pussy.white women control who doing them white man or black man.you can try and demonize the black man all you want,but the white woman control all.

I cant believe I read this.

Stupidity is common to both men and women regardless of the race involved. Yet in this story you act like its only black male that are capable of getting STD and everyone else is basicly immune to it.

I just don't even know why I read this. I mean I should have stopped at this quote:

"Black males run one thousand times higher rates of STD's than monogamous white males. Just kissing puts your kids and me at risk."

____________________________

Why did you even follow this thread for a story? Are you completely insane or was this just an act just for our benifit? Just when I was starting to like you as a writer you pull this.

Bleah

Like your other readers I have enjoyed your past submissions. That being said I have to say that I am greatly disappointed in this story. I don't know what it is that makes people believe that black men want are white women. We are just like every other race of men on this planet. Individuals have individual tastes some like white some don't and I know white men feel the same about black and other women. One poster made mention of low self esteem and I have to agree.

I gave up at the foot long cock. Get real!

didn't have the emotions he had. You lacked the emotions of a whife charting and the reaction of the husband's. The story was OK.

Another lousy story from the Master of Shit. All of the endings were shit. You have become an asshole and your piss-poor stories are not worth my time.

I guess you managed to give every ending to cheating that I have read in the past month. If you did nothing else you sure gave that guy/or gal, anonymous another author to cuss out. Keep on I love hearing all the bitchin comments....

You missed at least one ending. She becomes the whore.

End of marriage, John moves on with a loving woman by his side. Sees Beverly at her lowest and laughs his ass off.

Enjoyed the read.

Charleybear

goddamn worthless racist story from an author who could write if he tried and got an editor

The last chapter is the best ending

Somewhen back in the Dark Ages, I was taught that stories have a beginning, a middle and an ending. I've confirmed since then that one ending to a tale is plenty, and that good stories don't need lots of different conclusions. Perhaps bad stories do. This thing having multiple endings reminds me of a multiple choice test. Like that type of examination, this story is pretty near useless too.

<P>

I did get a laugh out of the author's notion that young white girls are being subliminally influenced to believe that "black is better." I suppose the tale has some value after all, even if it's unintended comedy.

There was something familiar in all those many endings which were quite similar, partly overlapping partly diverging, trying a different direction. Finally I got it. It reminded me of the repeated efforts of children (I am not making fun of no one) to master a skill by trying again and again the same task – until they get it right. As someone who did not grow up in the US, the unresolved relations between whites and blacks are one of the things that stood up for me right from the beginning. I mean, its right under the surface, whether people acknowledge it or not: suspicion, pain, anger, paranoia, blame, fear, guilt, hate. So as a nation, it’s a one big: yet –un – learned – skill... How to resolve these relations? How to settle them? <P>

In this light I was not surprised that the author chose, consciously or not, to study; experiment, with different solutions. Were any of them satisfactory? I don’t think so. But I don’t think that we could blame the author for that. The author can play with different variables in the equation; rotate, maybe irritate us. But he would not be able to invent a solution all on his own. If he is able to be a catalyst then he did a lot. <P>

Yea, I wish there was a way that those parameters penetrated more into the psyche of the black male and the black female and the white female. But hey- look how much we got just from the perspective of the white male. <P>

At times, I felt that some of the endings were unreasonable, maybe even grotesque (the emasculation of the black man was one of those), but then I understood that we were invited into the full spectrum of one imaginary (or is it?) white male psyche. In it we find a mini epic selection: ‘the good the bad and the ugly’ so to speak. One could say that the Eagle was putting a mirror to us and if we don’t like what we see, well, then we can do something about it... <P>

I found this story original and daring (not bowing to popular formula in structure and length); almost gothic in tone, it delivers this hard to digest true messages. I am impressed.

I cannot abide multiple endings. They are a sign that the author does not have confidence in his story telling ability; that he is too squemish to make a decision and select an outcome that he believes appropriate; that he is trying to kiss too many asses at once; that he thinks he is being cute; and that he simply cannot write a story with an ending.<p>

All of these stories on Lit.com that have unfinished endings, or multiple endings are not just amatuerish, they are beneath incompetance. If these boobs want to write, they should study fiction writing and find out how it is done.<p>

But so many of the readers, seeking only cheap erotica, do not appreciate good writing and praise pitiful and faddish gobbledegook. They get what they deserve. The writers never have an incentive to improve.<p>

Have a good'un!

with at least one of your endings per commentator.I can see why after all the stories you've written you would want to do the alternates yourself.Lost points from me for the ones not involving hypno/drugs where she still was willing to go to him,even one where the sex sucked!In real life she would have been tossed from the git-go.Pistolpackinpete

the endings where derek gives in? the attitude that was set up in the beginning in inconsistent. him wanting others and submissive spouse to worship him? i can see that. in any case, bev has mixed impulses and should be left to pursue them without interference of family, etc, and husband, even get derek's wife since she seems the better deal

The ONLY ONE that had ANY attraction was where Derek Got his balls dissolved. Even then you let the cheating slut live..

All bad endings and the slut and the black guy were left alive and off the hook!!!

Why are you writing if you cannot make up your own mind about how to end the story? Such an approach manifests both an immature sense of storytelling and a technical deficiency.

Man-up, wimp, and stop worrying what readers think about the ending you choose to write.

author..sorry but this is shit. you should do more researches to refine your "style".

these people are pimps and have a higher chance of std's. Your racist crack head mom has a better chance of getting an std than black person you jackass. white women and white males are the highst risk group. make sure you take about that in your next story fuck face.

This was a work of a shit head and the worst subject to put into a story. R.T.

Not a bad story but you just have to love Racists ever time they do not agree with you.Take care

Tilleydog

With a little more consideration for the reader it could have been better. Part 1 should have been a stand alone so that old folk like me, with a limited attention span and not much short term memory, could easily refer back.

Then a couple of author rereads might have picked out some of the more absurd of the nonsenses, or maybe better still, an editor.

Still, I'm impressed with the imagination and the use of language was pretty correct.

All told, three out of five.

Please......you are better than this.

Some took very little real imagination to craft a couple took some real thought though.

It is always interesting to see how someone might take the same base information and run their own way with - this is how one person might twist themselves in different directions - pretty good stuff

It needed one more - a good one. They all sucked

and what price does your soul cost. TK U MLJ LV NV

but it really felt like a repeating nightmare. sensory overload, felt exactly like 7 stories, each brutal to the ego.

Same old.

Unfortunately almost every ending, if not all of them, would end in divorce.

depressing, but to many women cheerfully, energetically, and with gusto, throw their families away in real life.

Good writing, but the story(s) caused sadness :(

illiterate shit.

This would be the worst story on this site, this author has to be a black who gets off by trying to create stories that humiliate whites. Pathetic to say the least. 1⭐️

a very bad story with a very bad multi ending

this writer do not know any thing about human natural, no wife loves her husband will do that because of one meeting in a party , even if he drugged her that time she should not do it second time specially that she knows that her husband knows and might watch her and after he showed her that she will be a whore working for a pimp

she was suppose to be rich and educated and very pretty so she will never fall with such crab

I thing the writer lost his thoughts

the first 3 endings are comics , I think that writer is a black man and anti muslems too

John should have walked out on the deck and kicked Derek in the balls. When Derek bent over, knee him in the face then while he is down stomp on his balls several times. Divorce Beverly and take the girls and move far away from that slut. Maybe hook up with Beverly`s sister.

Impossible to follow. From what I could tell, another idiot cuckold story about big black guys. Absurd.

Ok...

How many are their anyway ?????

I ran out of curiosity after reading the first three endings. I probably gave up after the Navy Seal eye flicks. Maybe it got better. I'll never know.

Just shit from start to finish. Plus how many navy seals are there? According to this website every second American is a navy seal. Just shit!

Just yer average navy guy who can't keep his wife in his bed. Whats with the squids ?

That the "seals" get all the publicity. That way the really spec. ops people can do the job without any media interference...

I can't understand a wife who cannot resist another man. It's just not in my makeup. However, the chemical castration option I do understand.

Too much pain and regret. Too much forbidden knowledge.