All Comments on 'The Entity Pt. 11'

One error that's not a proofing error, tanks of oxygen don't explode. Tanks of hydrogen or natural gas or several other gases will, oxygen will just make the fire burn quicker. Other than that nice story, wish it had been proofed but still enjoyed it.

I thought the capture and disposal of Bob deserved better because as it was, it was sort of anticlimatic. Plus though the entity wanted to die it didn't and the people who manipulated and corrupted with oodles of money got away with it. So what else is new? I guess I'm sort of confused with this story - as thrillers go the ending is not satisfactory and as love stories go that a daughter got to marry her father by cloning, DNA and programming left me cold. Or maybe I just got the story all wrong. Who knows.

Robert should read Thomas (Theodora’s father). Thanks for all the comments, observations and votes.

Since Theodora's death was confirmed and Tammy was identified as the sole heir, all access to those accounts should have been transferred and impounded in a holding account until probate was completed. Since a clone has no legal rights, Theodora couldn't contest the transfer of those assets and not expose the fact that she is a clone since it is documented that she never married or had children. She'd still be able to gain access to the Blackburn trust once she produced another clone of her father to pass off as the legal heir of that estate though!

By the way, since Linda was able to gain access to the basement prior to Bob bringing Tammy and Alessandra down(else the women would have heard her coming down the steps), all she had to do was grab the pistol and all of the knives and wait for Bob to return from his "potty break" to safely nutralize him by putting a few bullets into him. She then should have made him strip and kneel down in the pit he dug. She would now have been able to get the keys from his pants to unhandcuff Tammy and Alessandra. Finally, she should have turned off his computer and have Tammy bury Bob up to his neck with his hands cuffed behind his back, cut a "joker's grin" on his face, turn off the light, and leave his ass in the dark( at least a few days before directing the police where to find him)

Alas, poor Micheal! Theodora seems to have a predilection for burning him alive whenever his usefullness ends. Since his mind is scanned he will live in eternity as her plaything while never suspecting that his destiny is to be burned alive.

As intriguing as The Entity itself – time for me to thank my readers and apologize again. Yes, there was a snafu. PARTS 6 and 7 were, in fact, reversed. I should have caught it sooner but the references to chapters 6 and 7 had me looking in the wrong place. Sorry – I plan on flogging the crew (self-flagellation) for at least a week or two. The problem has been fixed.

JPM

Unquestionably a 5+, but it didn't so much end as just stop. Another sequel is needed to tie up all the loose ends. Regardless of that, it is still one of the best novels I have ever found on Literotica

First of all, great writing couldn't put it down. Second there were a few overlooked technical details, someone else already mentioned the oxygen tank thing, there is also an issue with Linda Woo - Woo is a Chinese name not Japanese. Woo, Lee, Chang - Chinese and/or Korean; Yakamoto, Kaneshiro, Takamura - Japanese. Excellent writing otherwise great storyline and very well ut together. MORE!!!

You've got to get this to a publisher (after a proof-reader/fact checker has a go at it)! Could not put it down.

Interesting, very interesting.