All Comments on 'The Fall and Rise of David Beckman'

This story is likely KK's best to date.

I loved it.

Regretfully, I know where this story is heading and what's going to happen...

Apparently, Bill Nelson is Erica's first lover and they are seein each other. She seems to agree too much about his making mistakes like she has heard about it before.

Nelson is trying to get rid of him. He is changing the contract before it goes out.

David needed to xerox his contracts before returning them. Had to do something similar to that in one of my jobs. I was constantly getting the "I didn't ask for that" story. Sounds like he has been shafted. Obviously, with Mike, the sales manager is faultless. Sounds like Bill has as much to say about operations as Mike does.

I'm wondering just how getting David fired helps Bill with Erica. Can't quite picture it unless it is a matter of respect. Making Erica believe David is not trustorthy.

Well, Lad, bring in the next phase and let's see something of what's going down!

Seems to be going on predictable lines. Old relationships seem to have been kept under wraps for the time being.After all it is a Loving Wives' story!

With reference to the plot as David was sacked at the very start, and his wife made it very clear that his job would have been saved if only he had gone and asked for help, she is privy to more information than what her husband has shared with her. Full body massage not withstanding. Options available are is he in touch with his former colleague's new venture. Even take up a new job - remember how he stood up for his rights with the Owner cum President ! What will unravel when David moves on whle getting his confidence and self respect back?

KK what are you working on? Awaiting the second part .....

Eagerly!!

3chapters could be one and half.good story ,but dragging sucks.

Boy, do you have me on the edge of my chair. How long do I have to wait? Please not to long.

Simple, get set to move by night, cover all your bases, Erica is the bad guy, kill her ass, leave the country, better yet, if he's a professional, he can kill 'em all. Don't tell me it can't be done, you have no idea. To disappear is so very very simple.

There were times it felt telegraphed.

Like when you mentioned the wife's previous lovers, and how there was really only one who she was serious about, but basicly left her behind at her colleage in the North East and she had no idea what ever happened to him. I was pretty sure it was Bill by the time he was introduced when I found out he was from the same area.

For me if he had come from another part of the country first, or it was suggested that he came to work with the husband from say California or something out west, that would have caught me off guard. But having him stay in the North East and then show up to ruin his life, I knew then she and he used to be involved.

The wife's character I didn't seem to hate as much as I thought I would, but I did in the opening lines of the story. You did manage to redeem her for me by having her appologize and try to make it up to him for what she said and did. That was really good reflection on her part. Made her seem more human and likeable.

As far as the story went, I can understand how the husband would be so upset. Even if the wife didn't cheat on him she sabotage him left and right instead of sitting him down and talking to him, she decided to take the word of her "ex-lover" over her husbands every time. To be honest I'm surprised the couple stayed together. I've seen people ruined who have divorced for less. While it felt like you kept them together to make it a happy ending, you brought me along as a reader so that, while I didn't think they had a chance, I could accept it.

Pretty good story, you covered the reconcilation bases pretty good and it didn't seemed forced. And was good was that you gave the wife enough character that while the other guy was trying to manuver her into cheating she wouldn't cross that line. She crossed a couple other ones, but it wasn't a big enough deal that she couldn't redeem herself and her character from it.

-Risq

I'm thinking of something totally different I read by KK. I'm on cough syrup this morning.

KK is still a good writer though (^_^)

-Risq

yawn....

story is predictable... If we assume that the Beginning of the story where the wife calls hims a LOSER... matches the TIME LINE at the end of this chapter... then we know the wife is fucking BILL

consider.. wife says this in the beginning of the story...

"You're such a loser," Erica said. "This is your own fault. All you had to do was ask Bill to help you and this never would have happened. You just had to try and do this on your own and you fucked it up. Now you have lost your job and your self-respect. Well, don't expect to drag me down with you."

but at the end of the story she says this...

"You can't be serious," Erica said. "You just said that you mail the contracts as soon as you are done with them. No one has access to your contracts once your finish with them. If someone could get to the contract, who would want to do that to you? Who could possibly benefit by making you look bad? No one."

Ok does anyone recall a point in the story where the hubby and Bill discussed some sort of Plan / training / or help to figire out what is going on with these contracts?

No of couse not. How would wife know about this ?

David the hubby certainly NEVER mentioned anything about Bill offerring help !!!!

second the wife very curious behavior ask the hubby to repeat the New guy -- Bill neslon- name. WHY? This should of sent out RED flags to the hubby.

THEN she suggests her hubby invite Bill and his wife over to dinner... but when they run into each other at the Mall... suddenly its not a a ghood idea?

You see each one of these incidents by themselves eman nothing per se. But put in the right order... the wife is a no good lying cheating whore.

She is not just a having a sexual affair or asserting that she has developed feelings for her old boyfriend. Those things are bad enough as it is... but can occasionally happen

the wife ERICA is going out of her way to sink and destrOy her own husband!!!

I cant wait to see how the reconcilation by KK develops. It will be a fucking joke but that IS where are headed folks

Good story line. Waiting to continue. Thanks for writing

This story is in the tradition of other top-rate stories by K.K. As usual, there is no doubt many waiting the 2nd chapter of this drama of life, love and greed in the corporate world. No doubt what is happening to David has something to do with money (primarily) and ego (secondarily). K.K. has the right read of goings-on in the corporate world and the stresses imposed on the involved wives (and/or husbands). Great beginning to another K.K. classic like Wendy, Who Needs Humiliation and DCHS (correct letters?).

RAG

This is a really good story! Write the next chapter...NOW

K.K.: I don't know who you are or anything about your background but you are among the few excellent writers who submit stories to this site. Thanks so much! -- Katib

Based on scores on SOL I'd expect this to be at 4.83 instead of the current 4.17. It's inconceivable to me that this isn't at least at 4.75.

The writing is as good as any on the site, the plot is nicely complex and requires some detecting to figure out, there are some trust issues - not to mention communication issues. Nice job of characterization. Reads like Elmore Leonard - or even better Harlan Coben (read his "Darkest Fear").

All I can say is that this is a tough audience and keep up the great writing. (I'm getting ready to read "The Stein" for the umpteenth time!)

Regards, DJ

Another interesting adventure with KK. Good to see you back. I already have about 10 possibilities of where this is going. Makes it interesting to see where you actually take it.

Bill is the 'serious' ex and there is conniving, and probably fucking, going on in the background. The delicious question is why? Why would the lovely Erica want to yhrow over our hero for slimey old Bill? And is the nefarious Mike also parting Erica's lovely thighs??

Holy Sales Quota KK, what will happen next?!?

I've always been a K,K, fan and this story appears to be the beginning of amother fine story. The only thing I don't like is the somewhat contrived appearance of Bill as new boss and Erica's immediate siding with Bill's opinion about everything while disagreeing with husband's point of view. That added to Erica's sudden objection to inviting Bill and wife to dinner after her previous enthusiasm for inviting them would appear to indicate that Bill might be her old boy friend. Can't wait for next chapter. 60 year old George

Predictable shmedictable, and so is Shakespeare. This is a supreme story telling if I have seen one. My only concern- are we going to have a three month hiatus now before we get to read the next part? You know it’s hot here, and my nerves are not what they used to be. So if you please show some compassion.

For the read.

A slow build up, with very little tension to keep the reader engaged. Thanks.

Bill is Erica's old boyfriend. He's from New York, her boy friend went to New York, and she reacted to the name, and they were awkward when they met.

Erica's tepid support of her husband and tacit agreement with Bill is suspicious.

Somehow Bill is messing with the contracts. How and why I don't know, especially since he is married, but I'm sure we'll find out!

Erica MAY not be fucking Bill, YET, but that possibility is certainly on the horizon!

Bill knows David wanted his job.

Maybe he sees him as a potential rival and wants him out of the way, of course Bill's (obvious) prior relationship with Erica is always in play!

To all the anon commenters. Piss off. Just because k-k diddnt write the story like you wanted you get all upset. Again piss off. 5* across the whole series.

You always have a copy of the contract and you sit down and sign the contract with the purchaser. So screwed up contract is not a viable issue. You do not k now what your doing. Make sense or stop writing.

It has been a while, but I love this one. Five stars.

Somehow I missed this series, so now I'm starting and this was a good opening chapter. Bill and Erica, what's with this?

Seems to me, that KrenE has it all thought out. Something is rotten in Denmark/BDS....LP

Very good writing technique and character progression- very erotic. Looking forward to next chapter

Cannot believe that Erica does not tell her husband that Bill is her 2.5 year ex-boyfriend from SUNY. Creates a shitstorm later. Awkward.

I agree with the comment about Erica not telling her husband out Bill. I believe that Bill is hooking up with Erica already and that her "trip" is just an excuse for a week long romp with Bill. They are setting him up to get him out of the picture while creating for Erica, an angle for a angry breakup allowing her to leave her husband. I know that this reeks of conspiracy, but we will soon see..