All Comments on 'The Fallen'

I really liked it, very well written.

Very powerful and moving story. I was not expecting anything near this intense. Other than a few personal issues with the story content, I can not think of a way it could have been done better. - Also the longest story I have ever read at Literotica.

Why in the hell aren't you a published writer? If you already are let us know so we can buy!!!!!

This story deserves a ten instead of a five!

I agree with the previous comment that this should be published. I'm already imagining the movie they could make out of this.

This story had great sci-fi detail, a highly sympthetic heroine, and deeply moving pathos. All that, and sex, too!

This story was one I really had a hard time putting down.

I am now a fan of SlaveMasterUK.

I'm pleased to read that you're revising this story for publication. I started skimming the beginning to see if I wanted to read it, and was surprised to find myself completely drawn in by the story and the characters. The scene where Carly is first introduced to Lonnie is breathtaking, the image of shared torment and bonding between them and then the frightening uncertainty when Lonnie is taken away. I also really liked your descriptions of the aliens' industrial world, everything was so vivid to me. I won't soon forget this story. Good luck with your writing career!

-collie

Whenever I had trouble reaching climax myself, I would read passages of your novel. This is the biggest and best one I have read so far on the site.

The amazing detail, and hot scenes just grip the reader.

The only possible con- it is a bit sad.

I like my novels to have a light at the end of the tunnel.

Its not nearly as horrific as some but still let Carly and Lonnie have their chance.

Other then that wow amazing.

I absolutely loved it until the bittersweet and sad ending. I really wish it had ended better for them after everything. Great job anyway.

great story even though it has the saddest ending i have ever read, kinda wish it had a wicked twist at the end, where all the events after carly's escape were some premonition type dream where she wakes up next to lonnie in medeas palace, with a changed perspective of her situation as a slave. wishful thinking of cause but brilliant story im not sure if you the writer still checks your comments after all these years but if this was published where can i find it? also is there any follow up story to this? i would like to see this character some how find peace rather than suffer till the end of her days. just my thoughts, thank you

Wow this was an amazing story. Sadly, I expected the bittersweet ending. Kinda had a feeling that the Medea was just like Carly and Lonnie; an unwilling slave, at least at first.

Utterly brilliant

10/10 for imagination

10/10 for ease of reading,

10/10 for grammar and spelling.

11/10 for eroticism and suspense.

Now I must continue tomorrow, as exhausted and soaked the bath towel, I was sitting on.

I imagine, a bit like Carly did to her bed, so many times.

Lovely!

This author frequently blends an erotic theme (specifically lezdom enforced arousal and denial) with a wider plot line (usually science fiction). Here, the erotic element is used superbly as a device to hold the reader's attention through a tale told entirely from a single point of view yet told in the third person. It is superbly done and makes an excellent piece of literature, not just erotica.

V.S.

Wow. Completely amazing. Usually I won't dive into a story this long unless I know the author, but this pulled me right in. Very impressive. But:

“You would kill a fellow slave? Then you are already becoming like me.”

This is when you lower you gun and shoot a foot off, right? No? Just me?