All Comments on 'The Family Jackson Ch. 03'

Im loving it, just sayin

It's a shame that Aunt Jane can't get pregnant, she'd look so sexy with her belly bulged out with Dillon's baby.

This is a very sweet, loving and yet very erotic and explicit taboo story that leaves this reader wanting much more, not wanting the chapter to end.

Samantha and Alexis could become pregnant if they aren't careful, and that would surely let the cat out of the bag of what's been going on out in his little shed..

Dillon still has one woman in his family he hasn't been intimate with, and that's his mom. She may be seeing that he isn't a little boy anymore, when she overheard him talking to Kara, and he might get a chance to fuck her too. That would be so hot.

Thanks for the great read...

can't wait for more

I seriously love this series. Dillon smartassness and the other characters reaction to is seem so realistic. its well written and has a good pace. The only complaint that I kind of have is the lack of description in the sex scenes. I'm reluctant to even bring that up as you are obviously writing something much more than a fap story and i wouldn't want you to change your style.

I also have to give you props for having a character that is under 18 in here. Other authors on this site seem to be afraid of even mentioning a character under 18 let alone give them dialog whereas you add even more reality to the story.

I think u need to get rid of dad and uncle some how .

Thank you all. Well, all five of you for your comments. Love the votes as well. Lol. I’m having a lot of fun with Dillon. The poor kid just can’t help himself. Can’t blame him for that.

To digdaddyrich:

Thank you for following the story and all your comments. I’m not sure about his chances with Mom. I’ve left the door open for it. I can’t see him turning her down if she insists, though. I’ve thought up a few scenarios for it and working on her vulnerabilities to make the scene work in a realistic way. Since the girls are young, they have a few years to work up to baby making. Kyle may end up being a handful with Dillon as his mentor.

To DPheonix:

I appreciate the feedback. I had to actually look up what “fap” meant. I guess I’m a bit sheltered, even at my age. It makes sense once you know what it means. Thanks for the education. If you read this, let me now how and what you mean by more descriptive. I’m hesitant to let the purple prose run too wild. Or the vulgarities, but I’m open to suggestions. I’m one of those that believe there is a difference between, “love and lust,” and “erotica and porn.” Maybe it’s snobbish of me or being near middle age.

I'm trying to show Dillon fighting to control his lust and allow his love to keep him protective of his family.

I’ve written the sixteen year old Kara as a device to show the reader why the women in his family have fallen in love with him. Lovable, funny, and with a gooey center. It also opens up the possibility for he and Kara when she becomes an adult. A writer always needs options.

To Anonymous:

Does the wood chipper work for you? Maybe a rabid badger or choking on a bag of peas? LOL. I haven’t even written Dad into the story and he’s got a contract out on him. I love that. Uncle Rick can always drop from a heart attack. Dillon would have to comfort Aunt Jane a bit more.

Thank you all, once more.

Luvthedesserts

So it seems that reading a story and commenting on it well after I should have gone to bed have a negative affect on my comprehension and communication skills. ;)

I reread my comment and realized that I explained myself in a way that completely missed, and frankly garbled, the point the I tried to make. What I meant was there are certain times during the erotic scenes where the paragraphs run a little long and combine actions that, to a sleep deprived brain, seem like they should be separated.

I scanned through this chapter to look for an example to show what I was talking about and didn't find one. I found it in chapter 2 with Dillon and his aunt. Some of those paragraphs show up on lit with 10+ lines which make for difficult reading when your concentration is divided.

Now that I've spent way too much time clarifying a point that wasn't all that important I'd like to reiterate that I enjoy your style of writing and I wouldn't want you to change it simply on the whim of a reader unless you happened to personally agree.

p.s. the use of the word fap was mostly my sense of humor rearing its ugly head. I hope you got a chuckle when you looked it up.

I did laugh, chuckle, snicker, didn’t quite giggle, luckily I wasn’t drinking anything when I started reading the definition. I would have had to buy a new keyboard. I’m gonna have an issue not hearing fap fap fap when I write from now on. I had quite a few mental images pop in my head to go with the definition. By my writing, I hope you understand my sense of humor has trouble not showing itself as well.

Your point about 10+ lines is valid. It could be valid with throbbing members being about that size as well. They seem to be the norm around here. I have similar trouble when reading. I’ll work on that.

Thank you for answering and clarifying so quickly.

Luvthedesserts.

P.S. Chapter Four has been submitted and should be up in four to five days. Dillon has a lovely Christmas.

You've hit on a 'Series' possibility here with Dillon...

I totally enjoy your writing - it has the humour and sexual side well balanced - and Yes,I'm still laughing !!

...even writing this there's a big grin on my chops....:-)

Please keep writing - it's like a breath of fresh air !

Again, another wonderful story. I'm enjoying this series very much and have nothing noteworthy in the way of constructive criticism to offer. I wrote enough in my previous comments with Ch 2. Keep it up!! (so-to-speak)

He's teasing Alexis too much. She should kick him in the balls and send him on his way. Life is short. Get on with it or get the fuck out.

max052

Wow: I haven't had belly laughs in over 40 years (I'm 81). They felt really good. You are one helluva writer. Keep it up. Many thanks.

alexis should have given her cherry to Dillon not a toy. that is just sad & pathetic that she wants him to be her first and then she's popped by a toy. this part needs to be changed.

your stories just get better & better!

way to many missing words, wrong words and misspelled words. it is very distracting and ruins the flow of the story. do a rewrite on the series and USE A GOOD EDITOR .

I am so glad you wrote it.

seriously sexy. hugely humourous.

This is beyond a doubt the best written story I have read in this collection of erotica. The author's mastery of dialog is as good as it gets.