All Comments on 'The Finer Points of Sheila Ch. 05'

It was hard to read this story and not get choked up.

Good Writing

Bob

I have read every word twice and it contains so many emotions. Everything from friendship, lust, love, understanding, passionate feelings and so much more. I wish I could give this a 10.

I thought Doug was making a mistake when he and Shelia decided to live together, but it was the best thing for both of them. Out of the passion, they produced a loving child which was named after Doug's father. Very emotional since Doug's father and mother did not approve of his lifestyle.

Then there was Elle. The childhood sweetheart that fell in love with Doug, but Doug had deep feeling for Shelia. She waited too long to tell Doug how she felt. I guess she thought that Doug would drop Shelia for her and then the you know what would really hit the fan.

Shelia, what a woman. We do not need to know what she died from, just that she passed away at 55 which is an early age. She loved two men in her life and two children. Not many women can say that and she was happy the last 10 years of her life. In fact, Elle said that since Doug had been seeing Shelia, she had never seen her mother so happy and excited each and every day.

I realize this was a fictional story, but it was a very good one. My emotions ran from lust to crying. Although the story ended in a somewhat sad way, it was written very well. You have a talent that should not be denied. Please write more and try a short story or make this into one and see if some of your work can be published. It was wonderful. Thank You...

One of the most emotional and beautiful stories on Literotica. Repeated reading does not reduce its appeal.

This was a very good effort, and one that I'm sure is appreciated by anyone who has a love of good writing and story telling.

Kudos to you for penning this lovely saga and getting it on the site in a daily fashion.

Your other fans are correct ... you have an extraordinary talent. Use it.

Although the story line with sheila was hot and steamy, the 5th chapter seems like it's just the begining of a new one. As much as I hated you for killing off sheila, Elle is the beginning of what Doug needed all along! Keep up the good writing, and please keep this story going.

First off, I'm always impressed with a well written story, one that I don't have to "interpret" grammatically, and this was one. It was also a wonderful example of erotica (although I admit this may be a taste issue) as opposed to a "fuck" story or what I view as the equivalent of bad porn. I don't think I need to elaborate on the storyline or characters, all of which were compelling, believable,and intriguing (okay...so I did elaborate) and I would love to read the continuation if you decide to write it.

one thing about the date/years:

If Elle left and never came back until that day Doug's at the cemetary, and Logan was getting married, then Elle had been gone for over 20 years or about there, and not just 15.

Poor Elle!

Reminded me of that Italian movie, CINEMA PARADISO, where the hero was separated from his high school love and although he went on to Rome to become a successful movie director, he told her --- when he returned to his little home town again some 20 odd years later --- that every woman he was with, he was looking for HER in them, and never finding her.

Now, when they met again, she's married to his old elementary classmate and with a daughter the same age as when they separated.

Elle must have done that those 20 odd years she had been gone from Dough, her best friend and her mother's husband! Poor woman!

It's too bad Elle didn't get a bigger role in the story, but it was a very moving one about Doug's life with Sheila, a woman whose life came to end too soon, never getting to see her son grow up and marry,,,

To the reader who left me this anonymous comment in my email:

"this has to be the stupidest story i have ever read,you write like you are twelve."

Can I ask what was stupid, specifically? I'm always open to criticism. It's the only way we grow as writers. And while I don't agree that I write like I am 12, I do admit to typos slipping through occasionally and a boyish obsession with breasts. I am guilty as charged. But please, if you're going to stick a firecracker up my ass, set it off and then expect to be taken seriously, could you give me some insight so I can be a better writer instead of insults? You're entitled to your opinion of course...

And to the previous post about the number of years Elle was gone... maybe I did the math wrong. Let me double check and I'll post an edited version. Thanks for having a sharp eye and thanks for the kind words everyone. You make this worth while. Cheers!

Excellent! More!

I recently recieved this awesome feedback in the mail today and I wanted to share it here:

"I have read a lot of stories in last two years and I never once left

anyone feedback. I wouldnt want to discuss what you could have done to

make this story more appealing in a sexual manner. But I'd like to

mention that it was an extremely sad story. Towards the end, I didnt even

think I'd be able to finish reading it. You've done a terrific job in

conveying the message that it is not always about sex but also about love

and it hurts awful lot when one of the lovers passes away (worst

scenario; if both passed away it wouldnt be so bad). It was really sad that

Sheila died relatively at an early age and also that Elle decided not to

turn up to her mother's funeral though I understand why you had such an

ending. What I dont understand is why Doug didnt feel sorry enough for

Brett? Brett wasnt born a drug dealer and they knew each other for

decades. Doug should have been there for Brett when he went to prison and

Elle should have been there when her mother died. It is only a humane

thing to put other people before yourself!"

This reader makes a couple really good points. The indifference Doug feels towards Brett is ultimately something that shouldn't have happened, but it did anyway. Doug made a choice, a choice that wasn't anything but implied in the story. I don't believe he made the right choice, but he made it anyway.

Elle's absence for so many years and her missing her mother's funeral had more to do with, I believe, her own feelings of guilt regarding her actions (or inaction). She never really was a part of Sheila and Doug's life after they had the baby, and her feelings for Doug gave her massive emotional issues (which I hope to write about eventually). Elle is probably as close to a real tragedy as I'll ever get to write.

I think the reader who left this feedback picked up on a small, subtle point I was trying to make in that people, even the best of people, don't always do the humane thing. "The Finer Points of Sheila" is all about the best and worst people have to offer. Do the characters all have their shining and not-so-shining moments through the course of the story? Yes. I think that's what makes them more easily identifiable.

Thank you reader, whoever you are, for taking the time to write your thoughts and observations down. Cheers! -bluefox07

man I never seen a story like this man this story rules man I love it I never knew there was a nice and sad story like this ever way to go this story got to be one of the best

I just sat here all day and read every chapter of this story. I couldn't stop myself. This story really touched my heart and I just wanted to let you know how beautiful your story is. Thank you!!

I have to agree with some of the other comments. Keep this one running. Awesome story. Maybe the best I have ever read on lighterotica!

It was slightly weird at first due to the age difference,then it got better and kept me smiling till the end. Great story, give us one more chapter on Doug and Elle.

I do know of some folks that 'do' family members and are sisters/mothers to siblings/stepkids. To each his own. The story was moving though....

Absolutely amazing story. Ignore the jackass that said it was written like a 12 year old. This story was one of the best I have read. Thank you for taking the time to write it and share it with us.

This was a moving story - an amazing journey. It was very well-written. I'm wondering if the person who posted that you write like a 12 year old meant his post for another story, because it is simply false.

One thing - you mentioned that this is a story close to your personal experiences, so if events unfolded for you in the end the way they do in this story, then it is what it is. However, for me, the ending in which Sheila dies at a relatively young age so that Doug eventually gets with Elle, and Elle's earlier professed love for Doug, feels contrived somehow. It's as if you're not completely comfortable with Doug's love for Sheila and feel the need to 'normalize' him by interjecting throughout the story a latent attraction to Elle, someone closer to his own age, but still trying to emphasize that Sheila, a much older woman, is the love of his life. It reminds me a bit of parents of a homosexual child who want to feel their child is 'normal' so they say he/she is not really gay and just going through a phase by trying to emphasize any prior heterosexual relationships the child may have had. I think interjecting the idea of a latent attraction to Elle while he is with Sheila takes away from Doug's and Sheila's relationship. While, again, the story is extremely well-written as a whole and it expresses a fact that people can find new love after the loss of a spouse, I feel, in this instance, in this story, you fear to simply say and only say that Doug loves Sheila, not Elle or anyone else, but Doug loves Sheila.

wow very good story, dont know what to say but wow thanks

I wish I could be as eloquent as you were. So I won't even try. And just say Thank You.

Beautiful.

Im touched

it could happen,, nice reading for couples

This erotic story is truly touchung, not only erotic but addresses issues that are real. The finest story i've read in literotica

A lovely story at the end ,I started to feel very sad ,do much tears appeared.

Thank you for this amazing piece of literature..

Well thought out story and written in a way that's easy to read, but still conveys emotion. Thanks for writing this enjoyable story.

This story was fantastically written and I wish it somehow continued. When Sheila died, I felt like I was slapped in the face with sadness. I wasn't expecting it at all. Too sad :(

Great alternative, when the trolls claim Literotica is a "Porn" site. The very best kind of sex described here: driven by love and respect, producing the next generation to carry the love forward.

These story's you have shared with us is one of the best I have read and the ending was good. But one thing for should do now start with what he do with is best friend.

For the first time since I've been on Literotica I gave story 5 Stars. Its for the way you ended the story. The ending simply lifted the story to altogether to a higher level. The reader felt for the characters. I felt for them. The story was a revelation. It showed how beautifully a story can be ended and hpw a story can be much more than just being a fuck fest. The Epilogue was fantastic. In the end it was mixed feeling of both happy and sadness. Truely Great job.

Awesome Awesome Awesome Awesome!!!!!!

You have quite a gift. You created a complete world which drew me in, and I understood and sympathized with the characters. While I am curious to read at least a little bit about the life Doug and Elle make together, I also think this lives perfectly on its own.

A wonderful story. A Rollercoaster of emotions. A story of lust, love, friendship, honor, hope and renewal. Thank you.

if what you wrote about when you and Sheila is correct and you were only 18 and she was forty five and she lived until she passed away was at age fifty five then you would have been twenty eight yrs old. When you went to visit her grave was fifteen yrs later, then you would have been only been forty three yrs old not forty eight as you said you were. You have to be correct with your time lines.

What a story.

So Logan was conceived on the kitchen table.

And I would have liked to have known what Elle was doing with her life all those years she was absent.

Love how you concluded the story. Absolutely fantastic job on this story and specially the ending. God i actually had a tear fall when he said "been 15 years so why can't i fall in love again".

Great job man.