All Comments on 'The Gang Bang Debutante'

Very hot! But, as a shy wife myself, I can say with confidence that Brie moved from being shy to voracious too quickly to be realistic.

It was an enjoyable read, however.

just the first comment, the rest is not even nice. unbelievable like her answer the next day. wank story for a cheap porn clip. a waste of writing talent.

To read this , why is it not in the group sex category .

Really? No your wife is a slut and a whore. I hope you enjoy all the benifits of that type of wife. And hopefully contract an STD that really hurts.

I liked it

Forget the haters, it was a cheap wank story and fun at that, not every story has to be believable or a novel to be fun.

not quite long enough

How about you let people voice their own opinions, asshole? You like it? Fine. Believe it or not, people are allowed to not only have different opinions but to state them, too.

talent wasted on sick crap for the few sicko's.

Thank you sharing this very sexy post! :)

A few minor typos that had me re-reading a few lines but I like the speed of the read and I personally love the topic. My wife is open but picky. Someday she will find the right "group" of men and I can't wait to see it all. It it is half and entertaining as this story I will be excited for weeks.

Loved the story, thanks

I loved the story! Keep up the good work..

NICE STORY BUT YOU LEFT US HANGING ON ANN AND THE SALES ASS

The story starts out with key words just left out altogether! And that process continues throughout the tale. NEVER send in a story after you 'finish' it! Wait a day or two then read it as though it is totally unknown to you,

That will not fix things like mistaking 'their' and 'there' but it wii be a start!

Adding to my observations from 3-4 years ago, is that the whole story was TOTALLY narrated. Not a single word was spoken ... any dialogue that took place was reported. Let the characters speak for themselves as much as possible! Yeah, it is faster and easier to get the story written that way, but it is much easier for We-The-Readers to get a feeling for the 'players' with them talking to each other such that WTR can eavesdrop on them. The author can also develop the difference in their personalities by how they express themselves.

I liked the way the husband told the story from his viewpoint. Her submission is realistic. My wife didn't do multiple men, but on our second visit to a party she went from an introduction to a nice looking man to having him between her legs with almost no talking.

Why are the whores always describe as shy and innocent? Is that supposed to make the cuckrats hotter?

Hard to believe a married 1st timer would pull a train with 20+ men. Gives her anal cherry to someone other than her husband,who’s watching? DPed but no air tight? Never understand how these women’s pussies/assholes/mouths aren’t hurt in’ for certain after 5 or 6 schlongs let alone 20+. And what about STDs?This gang of guys (The Bareback Bunch) didn’t strike me as the types who gave a shit about about safe sex! ~ After her sexual awakening, her husband should have come up with a pet name for her pussy like The Lincoln Tunnel maybe.

A hot sex story on a sex story site, and some readers are offended? Yeah, that makes sense.

Four stars. Good title and story tags.

The opening hook is well-worn but used effectively. Foreshadowing the narrator's and wife's characters was obvious, but also effective. The first plot point comes early but works well because the author gets into the story straight-away without a lot of build-up. Story has a fairly quick pace. No midpoint or twists or anything -- pretty straight-forward.

Wife's early dialog is a little too on-the-nose. Most people speak subtextually unless pressured to do otherwise.

I felt that the story progressed into the main action a little too quickly. Description of the action was more of a play-by-play than you would want from a first-person narrative, but that's common in amateur erotic fiction and easily ignored.

The only thing I miss about this story is that I did not feel as close to the primary characters as I would have liked. That can be corrected either through character development, or by describing the narrator's expectations, emotions, and reactions better. It was a great story, but I didn't get aroused by it. I admit that I was a little disappointed when the beginning of the gangbang began to resemble a cheap Xhamster gonzo blowbang clip.

Personally wasn't into the rimming, but I know it's a thing and didn't hold it against the story.

I do not know what the attraction is to the word "slut" that many authors here have. No woman goes to a sex club or sex party to be called a slut, a bitch, or a whore. In fact, those are the words which keep her out of such situations! I hate to flirt with the word "empower", but you guys need to allow the women who are the objects of your action scenes to be full and equal participants, even if submissively, without the degradation. Unless the character as depicted actually wants that, of course. I didn't hold that against the story, either.

I'll be honest, I got pulled out of the story about 2/3rds of the way down the first page. I know you tried to save her, but the wife's character went out-of-character when she got into the hot-tub. I would rather have seen a much longer, or a multi-part, story which would have more-believably culminated in this climactic gangbang scene.

Would read more of the author's stories, for sure.

Liked it. But.

But.

Lots of sex even with big clocks does not make women loose. It is a weird story element.

My wife, in fact, gets tighter after a gang bang. Her pussy decides it is done and closes shop.

I'm sorry,but when i married my wife it was because she was so special to me. In the 8th year of our marriage when i caught her fucking her boss in what turned out to be a 7 month long affair,she wasn't special anymore. Just another run of the mill cheating cunt. Five months later,we were divorced and because of a prenup and a family trust, the slut only got 10% of our community property. No kids,and i really dodged a bullet with this whore.

I need to fuck Brie

HOT!!!!, HOT!!!, HOT!!! Thanks for an arousing tale!!