All Comments on 'The Gift Ch. 01'

I think this story has alot of potential. Don't rush through the build up. That is what kills most stories. But you also have to be careful not to lose your readers interest by building it to slow. I look forward to how you build on this intro.

Awesome start!

...but I cracked up reading about the "porcelain curve of her beast". Proofread carefully!

Otherwise, nice build up, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Liked it a lot .. Now would be the time to walk in and say "I gave you the wrong movie". Hurry with chapter 2

More please. Have their relationship develop. Have him seduce her. Don't include anyone else.