All Comments on 'The Gift that Keeps on Giving'

editor needed. sudan is a country sedan is a car.those as in the ones over there,thoughs not found in the dictionary

. . . . but it's like a precious gem that needs to be cleaned off. You have very good sense of story but the words sort of get in the way. . . . . . mmmmmm?

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I have always been attracted to the exercise of finding several authors that one likes and trying to copy their style. Not to end up as a copycat but to identify and practice the things that in one's own mind are important to make story that shines in the way one hopes it will and ultimately to incorporate elements of several different styles with ones own sensibility and story to make . . . . . . . . something great ?

You must have changed course of the story consequent to the intercourse with Ms D. The story had started well, went to a great height, but somehow could not maintain the level. Better luck with the next story. You have got what it takes.