by jrt_2076
Feels like you just rushed it at the end to finish. There was good detail up until the sex then just skimmed over the sex parts. Interesting story though
i agree the story was starting out great. then its like ya just wanted to finish it at once!! it wasnt bad, id love to read a part two. but just take your time and detail a little more!!
Good story... very sexy! Take your time and add more detail-- every move and sensation and every emotion. But you're on to something! Keep writing!
The author musta been jacking it while writing this because the second he came the story ended. To bad. Wanted to hear all about the threesome etc.
Nice story but I wish there had been more description of Marc and Mia fucking each other. Maybe you could give us a part 2