by Bandit1
It leaves just enough to question what happened but very well written.
kudos
I loved the sparse diction and simple but effective detail. Nice choice on the ending as well.
Goes to prove that a story doesn't have to be overly descriptive or long to be a good read.
I'd like to see you slowly working on adding a little bit more detail, and bigger paragraphs.. but don't rush or force it.
Oh, the word 'cunny' made me giggle, I haven't heard that one before.
But what happened? Who cares! This one of the true jewels on Lit. It's a story that leaves something to the imagination. DON'T write a sequel. Write something else.
Don't write a sequel. And for Pete's sake, DON'T reveal the ending!
I prefer to imagine that the headsman took the head of...
No, I won't reveal the ending that I prefer either.
I remember back in high school, we debated the ending of TLATT in class for 30 minutes. This has that same intensity. Did he do his duty and take her head, or did he rid the kingdom of evil (and incidentally possibly lose his head in return)? Without the overt sex in the story, this could be at home in any high school/college literature course.
Thanks for the great read.
A wonderfully wriiten version of an old classic tale without the moral ambiguities of the usual happy, or unhappy, ending. Precision editing like this is in very short suply amongst professionals let alone amateurs. This is a pearl and, though I may be a swine, I do recognise it.
The ending is a absolutely blatant imitation of "The Lady or the Tiger"
It's a pity, as it was going so well. A more original ending would have finished it nicely.
Amazingly well done like all your other work. Great story, plot, erotic parts, and crisis of concience. Excellent cliff-hanger ending. It's going to keep me up all night just thinking of who died.
A well written story but the ending, while a recognized tool in prose, is also a cop out. I expect better of you. Please finish the story. I can see at least three more chapters. Dutchboy
Excellent...great way for me to finish reading all your submissions...are you writing somewhere else? If you´re still reading your comments...thanks again.
That ending was great, but also maddening a little bit. I give mad props for the story it was brilliant, I’m just bittersweet on the ending. Did he execute the evil, bratty king or did he kill the girl he grew up with? I think the people would’ve applauded him for ridding them of the evil tyrant that ascended to the throne not long ago. And as evil as he is, one might wonder if he killed his own father so he could be king sooner... anyway I digress. Great story!
Damn, and now that he's killed the King, he'll have to clean house and kill all the bastard's buddies. Hopefully the guards'll let him live and take Rebecca away with him.