All Comments on 'The Holiday Ch. 02'

It all felt very distant, like hearing a statement read out in court.

Again stupid comments from people who will not leave their names. Peter

Because the previous "anonymous" comment was right on the money.

Look, there's potential here, the story is a good one and it feels "real" but the writing, quite frankly, is atrocious. I strongly recommend having a friend proof-read your work... or find one of the many authors here willing to do so.

I don't say that to discourage you, because this story (and presumably others you have) is worth telling, it will just be a lot more effective if you tell it well.

Hi! I totally agree! I have no experience writing so I have no real talent. I have tried sending out looking for editors but so far have no replies. And I would rather work with a female one. This story though was hard to write as it is short and not much really happened but hopefully will explain the later stories