by Lotheriel
I am enjoying this, would love longer chapters though and would like some background info on who she is. Thank you.
Excellent story, but like all the good ones the devil is in the detail.
We do need the background as to how she got there, who she is etc
You will then have nailed it.
Thank you for taking the time to do this story.
I have decided that you will eventually drip...drip...drip out the answers to our hungry questions. I will endeavor to be patient.
You are doing an excellent job of slowly building the erotic suspense.
I love all the categories you could submit this story into, and the writing is well done, so it's a win-win. I wish the chapters were longer, but since you say most of the story is already written, ready to steadily submit each chapter, I can certainly deal with it. I like it thus far. Great job.
of "intents and purposes!" Very well done. That's one of the "Big 10" of grammar no-no's that of which so many seem ignorant. Still not a fan of vampire stories (excepting Anne Rice), but I'll check in from time to time. I think I'll wait until you have more installments posted, since the brevity of the scenes is disappointing. Do keep writing. You have skills.
FA_JF: Thank you :) And yes, you are right. The details will drip... drip... drip out. It's a matter of preference, I think, if you enjoy suspense or not. Suffice to say that if you stick with the story there is certainly no lack of explicit scenes. Trust me on this ;)
I responded to the comments on chapter length and history/characterisation of "her" in the comments of chapter one. As not to force anyone to go to another chapter just for a comment, here they are again:
1) Chapter length:
This first chapter is very short on purpose,just a scene-setter. That is also the reason why I posted chapter two at the same time.
That said - I agree that the second part is also too short. Since I have most of the story written I will endeavour to make the remaining installments much longer.
2) History
Again, it is written like this, with tons of open questions, on purpose. Right now she is faceless and nameless but we do get a fairly good insight to her thoughts. Details of her appearance will be revealed bit by bit, the history is covered in a chapter that is more of a "prequel" or flash-back. All good things come to those who wait, don't worry.
Also, the next installment will be submitted today. The following installments will be spaced out between 4 days and 7 days. That means, from now on I will rarely wait for one chapter to post before submitting the next.
Again, I REALLY appreciate each and every comment. Keep 'em coming!
/Loth
You have a good start. You are grabbing people's attention and we want to know more. You are already noticing you might consider combining several scenes into chapters. Speaking from experience, the masses get 'hungry' and like long chapters, but you might fend that off with being able to post fast. Good luck. Will check back later to see how you move the story along next.
~LB
.. a chase is always hot, but I feel so bad for her that she didn't make it, as she was doing so well :) what with the injuries and everything... love it, though.