All Comments on 'The Lawyer and the Killer Ch. 01b'

Much better, smoother. So far I like the rewrite.

I hope this fucker dies incredibly slow.

...why is the author asking the reader to read this 'new version', whatever name, not going to waste time checking. I found it to be identical, so waste of time - possibly an error on author's part when he saved the wrong text. Anyway, what else pisses me off? Although the story flow and language is all right, junior high English major errors pop up: "Forward" instead of "foreword". Get it? The word(s) beFORE the story. If anyone, a "writer" would have this in 'basic vocabulary'. Not an uncommon malapropism among usa "authors". "I like the way your put together" is a grade 7 error, maybe grade 6. "Labial lips"??? Labial means 'referring to lips'. So, a ridiculous phrase. Labia, in the anatomical meaning, are the lips, either outer or inner, on the woman's pudenda, or pussy. Would the author say 'vehicular cars', or 'canine dogs'? Labial lips means lip-like lips. What grade English would that be? I will go to the next chapter - perhaps things will improve.

After reading this chapter I feel as shanghaied as Susan. I abhor non consensual sex, even in fiction.

If this story had been tagged properly, ie non consent, I would not have wasted my time reading it.

Light bondage, romance, sounds like some good fun between consenting people. This should have been a good read.

I was not expecting some dark tale of a power crazed sex maniac terrorizing a helpless victim.