All Comments on 'The Loners Ch. 10'

more plz =) love this story

Not really. But you're workin really hard to make Alan bi aren't you?

The last couple of chapters have been rapidly losing my interest. In particular the cum swapping and talk of strapons - DO NOT WANT.

First ass play, now cum swapping and getting fucked by a strap on ... I'm open to just about anything to please my lover, but you just keep pushing the boundaries a little too far for my tastes. Hopefully this nonsense stops soon because otherwise I won't be able to continue reading what is an otherwise good story.

I think that my biggest problem is that Alan was obviously very uncomfortable with the ideas and Rachel keeps pushing anyways. He's already given up everything in his life for her, put his own life at risk, and accepted the fact that she kills people on a regular basis. For her to push him further makes it seem less like she loves him and more like she's finally found someone to end her loneliness and boredom.

Personally I'd like to see more character development and actions that prove the love they have for each other (Rachel especially) and less of them endlessly TELLING each other how much they love each other. You're a pretty good writer and I understand the desire to experiment with things in your writing, but please save it for a different story because it feels like it is cheapening this one.

i really liked the first few chapters. all about call of duty, naruto, final fantasy and elfin lied i could relate to. but now going anal on alan and male submissive are massive, MASSIVE turn-off for me. if subsequent chapter are to be like this i will have to abandon this series for good.

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No nope nononono no way gross gross gross fuck no!!! One a girl licking her own juice not hot. Dude tasting his own cum eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww fucking shit thats nasty damn it i feel like puking i dont give a shit how much my girlfriend likes that shit not like ima ask her to clean her juice off my fingers hell noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are so many unreasonable actions... character jumps to a conclusion that makes no sense.

I was just released from a trunk after being kidnapped. Let me just go along with my murderous rescuers.

Or how about absolutely no questions about how she got kidnapped. /facepalm

Reading the comments, I'm glad I had decided to skim things after reading the first few chapters. Alan wasn't giving me the manliest of vibes and things like the ones mentioned here were a fear of what could happen.