The Long Absence: Angie's Story

John would be arriving any minute. Don had arranged everything, his ticket, his flight, and all communication about his arrival. Angie stood where everyone else was standing while they waited for the arrivals. Standing on her tippy toes she looked for him. The last image of a moppy headed, thin little 12 year old popped in her head. Surely he didn't look like that now, she thought.

Angie backed away from the crowd to get a better view. Looking to her left and then her right, she did a double take, someone caught her eye. He was very tall, he had dark, half inch long, trimmed hair, and he was also looking around the airport terminal. He wore a t-shirt and cargo shorts, and held a carry-on bag. Angie slowly approached him from behind in order to get a better view of his face. The closer she got, the larger he appeared. Well over 6 feet, extremely muscular and athletic, he looked around, slightly awkward in his stance, attempting to find someone. She could tell he felt uncomfortable in the large crowd of people coming and going. Angie thought this man might be looking for his mother - for her, but needed a better look at his face to be sure.

Angie froze, unblinking, not breathing, heart pounding, standing about 10 feet away from the young man. She only saw glimpses of his profile when he would look from side to side. He wasn't wearing glasses. Gradually the people in the airport started walking around them, providing her with a clear path to him. Yet she remained still, observing him from behind. She decided to speak to be sure it was him.

"John?" Angie said, her voice trembling. The young man turned to face her. Their eyes met, both of them not moving toward the other. She could tell it was him; a grown up version of the child that was taken from her. When her eyes met his, her heart skipped a beat.

Angie started shaking, her teeth chattering in her mouth. John's lips curled slightly to the side in a small crooked smile. He knew it was her. She hadn't changed much, other than gaining more pronounced crow's feet around her eyes, and thin wrinkles around her lips. Her hair was much longer too. He looked as though he was going to speak, but changed his mind. Angie did the same, not having any idea what to say, feeling herself choke up and the shaking increasing. She inched toward him; he did the same, never taking their eyes off each other.

As they moved closer to each other, Angie felt smaller and smaller, looking up at his face, she lost it. She brought her trembling hands to her mouth, her eyes pouring tears, and leaned into him. He instinctively hugged her; his huge arms pulling her in, holding her tightly. Angie could tell John was fighting back tears too. He'd clear his throat or sniff as he held her. She rested her head on his chest and threw her arms around him. His back was so hard yet soft at the same time, indicative of his impressive musculature. He was the first man she'd hugged since she lost everything that fateful night. She felt a large hand on the small of her back, right above the belt in her jeans, ignoring the tingles it sent up her spine. She closed her eyes and breathed him in, his masculine scented cologne filling her lungs as she inhaled, her body melting onto his. She had paid for her sins long enough, her suffering was over.

He brought his other hand to her thick red mane, his fingers diving into it, holding her head against his chest. For a few moments, Angie felt like she had finally died from her depression and this was her heaven. But she was very much alive. John cleared his throat and loosened his tight hold of her.

Angie looked upward to his eyes, arching her neck. John stared back, his thumb caressing her cheek as he held her head, his other hand now on her waist, "Hi mom."

Fighting back tears of joy she was able to squeak out a "Hi" in return. She brought a hand to his face; her first thought was the word "beautiful." He was no longer a boy, but a man, a man that would be living with her.

Inspecting him after a few moments, her thumb trailing his square jaw, briefly making contact with his lips, Angie felt like she could never look away from him. Her heart was fluttering and she nearly jumped out of her trance when this younger man placed both hands on her waist, smiling softly, and said, "I missed you."

"I missed you," She immediately replied, clutching him tightly, burying her face in his chest again. Clearing his choked up throat, he moved to the side, ending their embrace. Picking up his bag with one hand, the other going back to his mother's waist, they walked to the baggage claim area. Not saying a word, Angie stood in his arms again, marveling at his height and overall size while he waited for his other luggage to appear.

The walk back to her car was quiet. He pulled his luggage along and she held onto his arm. "Maybe you should drive. I'm not sure I can," Angie chuckled.

"Sure, I'll be glad to," John replied. Angie told him how to adjust the seat, though he could've figured it out on his own. She was amazed to see him drive and assumed Don helped with teaching him; another thing she missed out on as a parent.

The car ride was quiet, Angie sitting in the passenger seat, looking at her son. She was in awe of him. They missed two turns because she wasn't paying attention to where he was driving. They just laughed it off. John would look over and smile at his mother when the car was at a stop light. They would trade smiles or he would pat her knee. She would grab his hand and hold it there. It was such a large hand; nothing like a child's. They were almost to her apartment so she held it the rest of the way, running her fingers over his, gently squeezing it, unable to stop smiling.

They arrived at her apartment, still fairly quiet with each other, smiling when their eyes met. Angie showed him his room, "Do you think that bed is too small? You're such a tall guy. How tall are you?" She asked.

"I'm 6'4"," John replied, turning to face Angie in the doorway, smiling.

"Wow," was all she could say, looking up at him, realizing that he surpassed both parents in height. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment.

John cleared his throat, "And uh, I think the bed is just fine." He brought his hand to Angie's face, causing her eyes to start getting watery, along with a slight shiver she didn't fully notice at the time.

"It's perfect," John said, pulling Angie in for another long embrace. "I missed you so much," He said, his voice now trembling.

Angie was fighting back tears again, her eyes closed, her hands clutching his back, "You're here with me now."

The hug ended, Angie placed her hands on his chest. Another "wow" was spoken, but this time in her head as she felt his hard pectorals. She felt herself getting flushed, but her mind was spinning, so she ignored it. His large hands on her waist contributing to her increased heart rate were ignored too. She quickly assumed it was because it had been six years since a man had touched her. She dismissed her body's reactions to his touch and slid her hands over his chest to hold his face.

Gazing into his eyes, she heard a tiny voice in her head that sounded like hers say "kiss him." She didn't though and continuing to look into his dark blue eyes, she spoke up, "You're home."

They hugged again in the door way; Angie blushing when she emitted a light, audible moan, quickly admonishing herself. John didn't seem to notice. They ended the hug and headed toward the couch, John keeping his hand on the small of her back as they walked. He sat, extending his arm so she could cuddle into him, her feet tucked up under her; her head resting on his shoulder. They had so much catching up to do.

Chapter 5

Talking for hours while sitting on Angie's couch, covering a vast array of topics, they maintained constant physical contact. John would tell her about football, how he begged his father to let him play, even though he was initially against it. They would talk about movies and music, occasionally pausing to smile at each other, or gently squeeze their holding hands.

There was something odd about their interactions that Angie couldn't place just yet. At first it was nervousness on both sides; a glance here, a smile there, an awkward silent pause. Angie could tell he was more nervous than her, but she couldn't deny that she was enamored with him, admiringly watching him speak, or think of something to say, smiling softly as he did. Angie assumed it was the fact that she hadn't had any real contact with a man in six years that caused her own fluttering heart and stomach. Here was a man now in her living room, telling her about some of the vacations his father dragged him on; a man she admitted to herself, who was extremely attractive.

Later in the evening, after they finished off the pizza Angie had delivered, they rejoined each other on the couch. She was planning on cooking for him but time slipped away. Sitting next to him on the couch, gently caressing his hand, Angie's curiosity got the best of her.

"So, are there any girls in your life? Did you leave a girlfriend behind to come out here?" She asked.

John paused and sighed, "That's a battle I lost with dad. I won the football battle, but lost the dating one."

"You mean he wouldn't let you date?" Angie asked, having a concerned look on her face.

"No, he didn't want me to be distracted and told me that - " John paused.

"Told you what?" Angie pressed him.

"He said that girls would only cause me trouble and grief." John said, looking away from his mother.

She knew what Don meant by that as guilt rushed over her. She knew Don didn't want John to date because he was afraid his son would end up with a woman like her.

Angie leaned her head against his shoulder, her thumb caressing his hand on his thigh, "I see. I guess that's my fault."

"Hmm? No, maybe to him, but I never had any ill will toward you," John explained. Angie raised her head to gaze into his dark blue eyes once more.

"You knew about everything?" She asked.

"Eventually dad told me; yes, a couple years ago. He said you were unfaithful. I was confused and wondered why, but it didn't take long for me to figure things out. He's a nightmare to live with. I guess he means well, but he was always on my case. He had to approve of everything, including friends I made. They had to be male, no girls allowed. He was constantly on me about grades or chores. I knew that I'd leave for college and my first and only thought was to apply to schools out here near you." John explained.

Angie smiled, realizing that it was never Don's idea that John come out here. Don just took the credit to make himself look generous or benevolent. She didn't press the issue, and honestly, she didn't care. John was here now and that's all that mattered to her. She hugged him tightly, feeling his fingers return to her long red locks.

John chuckled softly as the hug ended.

"What?" Angie asked.

"Sorry, it's just, well, I don't know." He stammered.

"What? You can tell me. What's on your mind?" Angie caressed his face.

"I was a kid when I last saw you. Back then I supposed I didn't realize or notice just how pretty you are. I'm sorry; please don't think I'm weird." John said.

Angie smiled widely, combing her fingers over his short hair, "It's not weird. I felt the same way. When I saw you at the airport, I was blown away by how grown up and attractive you are."

John blushed, looking away, "Thanks."

Angie could tell he was still a bit nervous. "So you never had a girlfriend?" John shook his head no.

Angie looked on as John fidgeted on the couch, the topic making him either ashamed or uncomfortable. She wanted to grab his face and pepper it with kisses. Kisses of sympathy, knowing a girl had never had the opportunity to do so, but also kisses of happiness that he was here and he was with her. She denied herself of that, not wanting to make him feel weird. Instead she brought his face in close and nuzzled his temple with her forehead.

They sat on the couch talking until well after midnight. Any anger Angie had for Don keeping him away from her gradually faded. Eventually she could tell John was getting tired. She suggested he go to bed and sleep late the next morning.

Angie used the bathroom and found John had changed into pajamas - a white t-shirt and gym shorts. "All settled and ready for bed?" She asked. John nodded yes and started to say something but stopped.

"You need anything?" Angie asked, detecting there was something on his mind.

"I'm sorry, this may be weird, but if you want, you can lay in here a little while with me." John suggested. Angie couldn't say no.

"I'd love to," She answered, walking to the other side of the bed and climbing in. They got under the covers, Angie still wearing her clothes, John in his pajamas. They faced each other in the bed, Angie running her hand over his arm and shoulder, smiling softly. They chatted for a little bit longer, mostly about the next day plans, or school schedules.

John's eyes were very heavy at this point, he was struggling to keep awake, his speech slightly slurred. "I'm sorry."

"You apologize too much. What are you sorry about?" Angie asked.

"I'm sorry that I can't stay awake any longer." He said.

Angie smiled, caressing his face, "It's ok John. Please, get some rest, we have some sightseeing to do tomorrow."

"Yep," He said, rolling on to his back, and then turning his head to look to his mother. Angie had propped up on her elbows. "Wished I could stay awake longer with you. I'm afraid if I sleep; I'll wake up and be back home with dad. This would have all been a dream."

"It's not a dream, it's very real." She said, feeling more tears well up, running her hand over his chest, looking into his eyes. The urge to give him a kiss cropped up once more. She told herself to do it. Angie leaned in closer and closer, inch by inch, and at the last inch she moved her lips to his forehead, giving it a quick peck, disappointing herself slightly.

"Goodnight," she whispered. Angie moved out of his bed, walked toward his door, and asked him if he wanted it opened or closed. He told her open was fine. One final smile and Angie was off to her own bedroom down the hall. Shutting her door behind her she nearly fell to the floor. Her heart was racing, she was panting, nearly out of breath. "Wow," was all she could whisper.

Sleep didn't come easy for her. Angie's mind was spinning. They had a nice day planned out tomorrow. She couldn't wait to see his smiling face when the sun rose.

Chapter 6

The next day was long but wonderful for Angie and her son. They drove around Los Angeles taking in sights John hadn't seen since he was a little kid. Hollywood Walk of Fame, La Brea Tar pits, Griffith Observatory and several others. They walked hand-in-hand any time they weren't driving in the car, eating, or doing anything else that may require a free hand.

The evening consisted of Angie fixing him dinner. Sitting across from him at the small table near the kitchen, she didn't feel like she was sitting across from her son during dinner, it felt like someone else, someone more than a son. She admittedly loved the feeling.

They sat in relative quiet the rest of the evening on the couch, holding hands and each other, making small talk here and there. Angie filled John in on her lack of social life, only stating she had a made a really good friend recently in Sandee. Angie didn't want to get into too many details regarding her depression as she didn't want to make John feel bad. Both of them avoided any conversation that was negative in nature - including more details of John's relationship with his father.

Mother and son found themselves in John's bedroom door way saying goodnight. He was holding her tight against him one last time before going to bed. Ending the embrace, his hands still on her waist, John chuckled softly.

"What is it now?" Angie asked, smiling back at him.

"Sorry, I just, I'm just really happy to be here. It was a wonderful day with you." He said, pausing and gazing into her brown eyes.

"It was, wasn't it? I'm glad you're here too. It's like a dream come true." She whispered.

John nodded, his eyes darting nervously about, "I'm sorry."

Angie chuckled, "What in the world for?"

"I don't know! I'm just overcome with joy or something," he said, the two of them laughing. John brought a hand to her face again, his smile fading. "You really are beautiful."

Angie's smile faded next, unable to look away from his eyes, feeling slightly uncomfortable but deep down knowing that she wanted this young man to kiss her even though it would be wrong. Trying to disperse the tension she spoke up, "John I" -

She was interrupted by a kiss on her lips. It was awkward and quick. It was followed by profuse apologies, "I'm sorry! I, uh, I just, I was excited and I didn't meant to startle you, I - " John stammered, looking down and from side to side.

Angie grabbed his face and kissed him back just as awkwardly and as quickly. "I, I'm sorry too. I just really missed you, um - " Angie trailed off; she was blushing and looking downward.

After a moment she felt a finger on her chin, bringing her face upward, her eyes meeting her son's. John closed them and moved in to kiss Angie once more on the lips. It was long and slow, his lips interlocking with hers, it was the first time a man had kissed her anywhere in six years. She went weak in the knees and nearly fell over.

She was expecting there to be more, just like that first night she shared with Sandee a few months back. But there wasn't. John ended the kiss and cleared his throat. Smiling awkwardly he backed into his room, "Goodnight."

Angie returned the smile, her lips and spine tingling, struggling to walk back to her bedroom. Slowly sitting on the bed, she brought a finger to her lips, whispering "wow."

Sleep didn't come easy for her yet again. Angie's mind was spinning. She called Sandee and left a voicemail. She knew she was at work so she requested a call back when she got off. Angie wanted to meet her for lunch or dinner. She had to talk to her friend.

Chapter 7

Sandee was busy for the next week. Angie was unable to meet with her until after John started college. She wanted to kiss him again and she did. After their initial good night kiss she could tell John felt embarrassed about it. In order to avoid making him feel worse, by Angie displaying her own embarrassment, she wholeheartedly embraced the idea of kissing him on a regular basis. Quick, sweet, pecks on the lips to say hello, goodnight, or I'm glad you're here. Over the course of the next several days they kissed like it was no big deal. Angie would snuggle up to him on the couch with popcorn, giving him a brief kiss before watching a movie or TV show. Every night they would kiss in the hallway before heading to their respective bedrooms. Angie loved it, she loved the attention she went so long without, and she loved seeing John come out of his shell, the awkwardness fading away.

A few items arrived for John the day before his classes started. Don shipped his bicycle, more clothes, and a laptop from Miami. This brightened John's day as he was starting to fear his father would forget and he wouldn't have his bike in time to ride it to campus two miles away.

"Maybe I can sit on your lap and you ride me around on that thing," Angie joked, poking John from behind as he was shutting down his laptop for the night.

"Oh yeah? Maybe so, but I don't think there's room." He replied.

"What are you implying?" Angie poked him again. John turned around and poked her side, slightly pushing her backward onto his bed. Angie instinctively grabbed him, taking her with him.

John landed next to her on the bed, propping himself up with an arm, the other hand resting on Angie's stomach. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean that you were overweight. I just meant we're both tall adults and - "