The Long Absence: Angie's Story

"I know what you meant." She interrupted him, her hand moving to behind his neck, their eyes meeting. She pulled him in for a kiss. This one was different, lasting much longer, Angie unable to pry her lips off his and push him away. He tried to end it, but her hand was clamped down behind his neck, holding him in place.

He managed to break away slightly and whisper an "I'm sorry," but Angie whispered back "no," and then pulled him in again for another kiss. She couldn't stop herself. Her body tingled when she felt John's hand on her tummy begin to slowly move back and forth, causing her t-shirt to come up, revealing her skin. Breathing heavily through their noses, she continued kissing him, eventually lightly lapping his lips with her tongue. She had no idea how to stop this if she wanted to. She knew it was wrong, but didn't care. She wanted something or someone to stop them. She herself couldn't or wouldn't. Luckily her cell phone in her pocket rang, startling both of them, John sitting back up on the mattress.

"Hi Sandee," Angie said, clearing her throat, sitting up next to John.

"Yeah tomorrow night would be fine for dinner. I can meet you there. Ok great." Angie told her friend. She took a deep breath and stood, walking to the bedroom door.

"That was my friend Sandee, I'm going to head over to her place tomorrow night for dinner while you're in class," She explained to her son.

"Oh yeah, great, that'll be nice. I'll probably be home late," John stood, clearly still embarrassed about the runaway kissing event a few minutes prior. "Hey, I'm sorry, I - "

"Shhh, It's fine," Angie interrupted him, before heading to her room. "It's fine," she flashed him a goodnight smile and headed to bed.

**********

Angie was dreaming again. A tall, muscular man had rolled on top of her, her legs locked around his body as he vigorously pumped into her, his hips slamming to hers. Just as she was about to shriek with an orgasm the man looked at her. It was John, his deep blue eyes looking into her light brown ones.

Angie sat up in bed gasping. Looking at her phone next to her bed, she saw it was 6am. She got up and fixed John breakfast for his first day of college. She didn't see him much that day, due to his hectic class schedule, but was bursting at the seams to talk to someone she trusted about what's going on in her head. Luckily she was heading to Sandee's that night for dinner.

Chapter 8

"Thank you Sandee. I always enjoy your spaghetti," Angie complimented her friend. Sandee wasn't much of a cook, but the couple meals that did cook were amazing.

"Glad you enjoy it," Sandee said, sitting back down with more wine. "So, how are things with your son? You've been a little quiet this evening."

Angie sighed, "Yeah, that."

"That doesn't sound good," Sandee said.

"No, things are certainly good. Maybe a little too good." Angie took a sip of her refreshed glass.

"Oh? How so?" Sandee asked.

"I don't know what going on with us. When I saw him at the airport for the first time in six years, my heart skipped a beat. I don't know if it's because I just haven't been close to a man in so long or what."

"That could be it."

"Well there's more," Angie said, taking another sip. "I kissed him."

"Kissed him?" Sandee asked, her eyes widening.

"Please don't think poorly of me. It just happened. He's so good looking and I just - "

"Angie it's ok, really it is," Sandee said, reaching across the table to pat her friend's hand. "You've been alone for so long, and then he comes around, and I'm sure you've felt or feel guilt about what happened with your marriage."

"Yeah," Angie nodded.

"I won't judge you," Sandee continued. "I would often think about the child I had to give up for adoption. I only saw him or her when I watched the nurses take them away. I wondered if I ever met them as an adult, if..." Sandee trailed off.

"If what?" Angie asked.

"If I were to do things to make the guilt go away. Like affection-wise, you know?"

"I see, so kisses and hugs and all that with them?" Angie asked.

"Well in my slightly inebriated states, I've wondered if I'd do more than that, to end the guilt. I'm sure you can read between those lines, right?"

Angie nodded, blushing slightly. "Well if it's what I had a dream about early this morning, then yes I know what you mean."

"You had a sex dream about him?" Sandee asked, finishing off her glass. "How was it?"

"Well from what I remember, it was great."

There was a silent pause between the two women. "Sounds like you're in an interesting situation. And no, I won't tell a soul anything about anything that may or may not happen," Sandee said.

"Good; because I've been kissing him for about a week now. Pecks mostly, but yesterday it was quite a bit more. You called me and saved us from whatever might've happened," Angie explained.

Sandee chuckled, telling her friend again, "I would never judge you." Sandee squeezed Angie's hand.

"Sometimes I think I'm falling for him," Angie admitted.

"Then fall. Let yourself fall." Sandee said. "I'll never know my child, I'll never be able to hold them or touch them. Screw what society thinks. If it makes your guilt go away and you aren't hurting anyone, just let it happen. You know?"

Angie smiled softly, looking to her nearly empty wine glass. She gulped the rest down, sitting the glass aside, caressing Sandee's hand.

There was another silence between the two as Angie contemplated what Sandee suggested. She was shaken from her trance when Sandee spoke up.

"Hey. I almost forgot. I recently ordered a new toy," Sandee said, tickling Angie's hand. "Would you care to try it out with me?"

Angie looked perplexed, "Try out a toy? What kind of toy?"

Sandee chuckled a bit, "Let me show you sweety."

**********

Angie's hand gripped her bed sheets. Her eyes were closed and she bit her bottom lip. Sounds of flesh slapping against flesh echoed in Sandee's bedroom. Angie was on all fours while Sandee huffed and puffed, plummeting a strap-on dildo into Angie over and over again. Sandee gripped Angie's hips, occasionally slapping her ass while she rammed into her.

"Ah! Oh yes!" Angie screamed out, feeling her pussy being filled with Sandee's toy. It wasn't huge, and it certainly wasn't the real thing, but it was the closest that she's been to being fucked since that night with the young college grad.

Sandee buried her hands in Angie's red hair, pulling her up and back, whispering into her ear, "Feel good?"

"Uh huh!" Angie replied, her hands reaching behind her, into her own hair searching for Sandee's. Sandee had never been this rough, perhaps the strap on empowered her a bit.

"Pretend I'm John," Sandee ordered Angie, pushing her back down to all fours. Angie had been imagining it was John the moment the strap on entered her thirty minutes ago.

**********

Angie was going to make love to John. On her way home she attempted to plan it out. She tried to figure out how to go about doing it. When she pulled into her apartment complex she dismissed those thoughts. "Just let whatever happens, happen," She told herself.

Noticing that John was home from class when she got out of the shower, she wrapped a towel around herself and headed to his room. He was sitting on his bed, putting some papers in a text book.

"Hi," Angie said, standing in his doorway with the towel around her.

"Oh, hey, how was your day?" her son asked.

"Good, good. You know I was thinking, maybe this weekend we could go out for dinner," Angie suggested, approaching John.

"Oh uh, sure, that'd be great mom," He replied, not looking away from her face.

"I was thinking since your father wouldn't let you date, then perhaps this could be a like a date, you know?"

"Yeah, I think that'd be great. Maybe Saturday night," John smiled, standing to his feet.

"Yeah," Angie said, feeling dwarfed by him, leaning into him for a hug.

They kissed each other on the lips and said good night. Angie headed back to her room. Standing naked in front of her bathroom mirror, she turned from side-to-side observing her small, yet perky breasts. She thought about what to wear, she had nothing that was new. She figured she'd call Sandee to see if she could borrow something, realizing that Sandee probably had nothing but short, tight, cocktail dresses. Angie smiled at herself in the mirror, if that was the case, then it was fine with her.

Chapter 9

The days passed and not much changed; only more flirts and more kisses on the lips. Then on Friday evening, John was sitting as his desk studying when Angie peeped in on him, letting him know dinner was ready. She saw his hand massage at his neck and shoulder. He had probably been sitting all day, hunched over, while studying.

"Here let me help with that," Angie took the opportunity to help her son. Standing behind him at his small desk, she began massaging his neck, slowly rubbing the tight muscles.

"Wow, you are really tensed up here. Get up, lay on the bed," Angie backed away, allowing him to stand. Before he climbed onto the bed she stopped him, looking up to his face, she slid her hands under his t-shirt, briefly feeling his stomach before she helped him remove his shirt. Tossing it to the side, Angie stood there, looking at his chiseled physique, running her hands slowly over his chest and stomach. Snapping herself out of trance she nodded to the bed.

Sitting on his butt, Angie ran her hands over his back, slowly pushing and massaging his muscles. She got up to his neck and did the same there. After a few moments, she leaned down, dragging her long hair across his bare back, then rubbing her face on it, lightly peppering it with kisses. John jerked and giggled.

"That tickle?" his mother asked.

"Yeah a little," He answered.

Angie kissed her way up to his neck, whispering in his ear, "You have a nice back, John. You have a nice body actually."

"Thanks," He whispered back.

Kissing along his neck while massaging his shoulders, Angie moaned softly, feeling his body beneath her as she straddled it.

Happily kissing his neck and back, Angie was blissfully unaware that John was getting more and more tense - the opposite desired effect of the massage. Without warning John startled her and rolled over underneath her, causing her to be straddling his front now. He grabbed her face, bringing it to his own, kissing her madly. Holding her head as he kissed her, he sat up, taking her with him and then slammed her down on the mattress, continuing his kisses, his tongue lapping against her lips.

She felt something hard in his cargo shorts, something pressing against her jeans. Angie knew what it was and moaned. She asked herself if this was really happening. Just as she was letting herself go, John ending his assault on her mouth and moved to her neck. Angie, in total bliss called out his name in a volume just above a whisper. John stopped when she did that, the look on his face was that of regret mixed with fear.

"I'm sorry mom. I, I, don't know what came over me. I'm sorry," He got off Angie, grabbed his shirt and left the room.

"John wait! It's ok!" Angie said, chasing after him. Her apartment door was closing just as she turned the corner of the hallway. He was gone, embarrassed and angry with himself.

Angie went to her bedroom. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she dialed Sandee's number. Sandee was dancing at the strip club on Friday nights usually so Angie left a voicemail.

"Hi it's me," Angie said, running her fingers through her hair, catching her breath. "Can I come over tomorrow afternoon before you go to work? I'd like to pick out a dress to borrow if that's ok with you. John and I are going out tomorrow night. Thanks."

Angie stood, stretching her back, when something caught her eye out of the window. She peeped through the blinds to see John pacing around in the parking lot. He was looking down, occasionally shaking his head. Angie smiled, watching him lean up against her car, attempting to calm himself down.

"Don't worry darling. You and I are going to have a wonderful date tomorrow night," Angie said, closing her window's blinds. She took off her clothes, playfully tossing them in the hamper, making her way to the shower.

While the hot water fell down on her, she smiled, thinking about how much better her life had become since John arrived the other week. She ran her hand down her flat stomach, down to her engorged clit, slowly massaging it with her fingers. She imagined herself sharing her shower with a tall, muscular, younger man. No longer thinking about the overall sensation, Angie had a face and a person to use to fuel her self-imposed orgasm. He was the only man she felt she deserved and the only man that she wanted to touch her.

Angie cried out John's name when her body tensed up and the orgasm overtook her. Not caring if John was still outside getting fresh air or back inside the apartment within earshot.

Chapter 10

"How about this?" Sandee asked, pulling out a red dress from her closet. Most of Sandee's dresses looked like something a prostitute would wear. Angie wanted something sexy but not quite that whorish.

Angie stood nude in Sandee's bedroom, having tried on five suggested dresses before Sandee pulled out the red one. "This will match that fiery red hair of yours," She pointed out.

Angie agreed and tried it on, exiting the bathroom, twirling casually for Sandee to inspect. "Holy shit. Let me go get my strap-on so I can fuck you senseless with it!"

Angie chuckled and declined Sandee's tempting offer. The dress was short, it came down to around mid thigh, and it was a sling strap, the strap going across the chest and over the right shoulder, leaving her left shoulder bare. Like all the other dresses, it was extremely tight.

Sandee kissed Angie goodbye, wishing her luck, reminding her to relax. When Angie returned she found John in his room studying, sitting at his small desk. She entered and hugged him from behind. He had been avoiding her since the previous evening. Angie knew why, but acted as though nothing had happened.

"I'm looking forward to our date tonight, John," Angie said, kissing him on the cheek. Deciding to cross another line, with words this time, in an attempt to make him realize he had nothing to be ashamed about, Angie continued.

"I found a really nice, romantic, restaurant. They'll be candles at the table, a string quartet in the corner, it'll be wonderful." She said, kissing his cheek a few more times.

"You do still want to go out tonight, right?" Angie asked.

"Mmhmm."

"You don't need to feel bad about what happened yesterday. You don't need to apologize anymore. You just need to relax and enjoy this evening of you and I reconnecting after six years. Your father didn't let you date; well it's time you went out on one. Alright?" Angie asked, kissing his neck a few times.

"OK," He smiled softly, blushing.

**********

Angie loved every minute of their date. John was still a bit shy, but she had so much fun either way. She could grab his hand and hold it while they talked about school, or about how Sandee was looking forward to meeting him someday, or memories from his childhood. John loosened up as the night progressed and told her how beautiful she looked. When desert arrived, Angie moved to his side of the booth, so she could easily feed him desert and visa versa.

"Dance with me," Angie commanded when they took a last bite cake. Extending her hand to him, she led him to the crowded dance floor, where a lot of couples were dancing slowly to the stringed quartet. John rested his hands on the small of her back, right above the swell of her buttocks. She had her hands locked behind his neck.

"John I know things have been a bit different since you arrived the other week. I think you know what I'm referring to," Angie said. John nodded, remaining quiet as his mother spoke.

"But I want you to relax and just enjoy everything. Just enjoy us," Angie continued, resting her head against his shoulder. "I remember when I first saw you at the airport, something happened; something I wasn't expecting. I know it's a cliché, but maybe it was love at first sight; again that is. I loved you when I first saw you as a baby, but this time, this was different."

Angie sighed, looking to John's eyes, and said something that she realized she hadn't yet said to him since he arrived in LA. It was something they stopped saying a few years back as Don would rush him off the phone with her. When she told him these three words on this night, however, they had a new meaning which represented a new chapter in their relationship. Caressing his face, her lips slightly trembling, she said it.

"I love you, John."

He hadn't heard her say in years, but knew exactly how she loved him. "Mom, I'm sorry, I never meant for us to feel this way about each other. I just can't stop thinking about you. I know it's wrong, I'm sorry."

"John, stop apologizing and kiss me," Angie ordered her son. John did as his mother told, propping her chin up with his thumb, bringing his lips to hers in the crowded, low lit, dance floor of the restaurant, gently placing a kiss on her lips.

"I love you too," John whispered.

"Let's get out of here, darling," his mother replied.

Chapter 11

The drive back to the apartment was done in silence. Angie held his hand in place on her thigh as a thousand thoughts went through her mind. She tried to rationalize her situation, attempting to make sense of it. He had virtually no experience with a woman; she had zero contact with a man for six years; and the first man she does interact with in that time is a very attractive one, who happens to be her son whom she last saw as a child.

Angie couldn't deny it thought. John was the only man she wanted touching her. Somewhere in the back of her mind she felt she'd be making things right; erasing her absence from his life by giving him everything, all of her.

**********

That sat on the couch next to each other, she still in her dress, and him still in his dress slacks and shirt. They were holding hands, both staring down to their entwined fingers. They both looked up at the same time, their eyes meeting, gradually leaning in closer and closer. Inch by inch, their faces approached each other, Angie's mouth partially opening, and their noses lightly grazing against one another.

She made the first move, her lips gently clamping down on his bottom one, backing up slightly, and then repeating, interlocking with his. On Angie's third kiss, her tongue lightly flicked against his lips. He was nervous, she could tell, but eventually she was able to coax his tongue out of hiding and meet hers with each kiss.

John backed up after a minute or so, his face was flushed and he was breathing heavily, "I'm sorry, I'm - "

"No. Don't stop." His mother ordered.

They looked into each other eye's, Angie staring at him with half closed, glazed over, light-brown beauties. Placing her hand on his face, they resume kissing; their mouths now open, clamped down on the other. John moving his hand to his mother's thick, red hair, eliciting a moan as their tongues swirled around inside each other's mouths.

Angie stood, brining her son with her, and backed down the hallway toward her bedroom, their mouths still glued together.

Kicking off her shoes in the hallway, backing into her bedroom, her arms wrapped around his neck. After a few moments she broke the kiss, turning her back to John, looking over her shoulder she asks, "Unzip me?"

John slowly moved her hair out of the way and began to unzip her dress. Sliding it off her shoulder, he kissed it several times, making his way up to her neck, sending electricity down her spine. Angie turned around, grabbing John's face, pulling it to hers for more kissing. She unbuttoned his shirt, while her mouth is covering his, sliding it off his shoulders.