The Long Road Ch. 03

Kyle breathed a sigh of relief, then made a big show of crossing everything he could possibly cross, fingers, arms, legs, eyes, which made everyone laugh.

"So what happened? How did you find Kyle?"

Jay spent the next few minutes explaining how they were able to track the location of Kyle's cell phone, the arrest, etc.

Ring. "Doctor Foster. Yes? You're sure? Okay, thanks Teri." Hanging up he looked at the fearful faces and looked Jay straight in the eyes. "She ran the test three times, and each time the results were the same. Negative."

Everyone was hugging and crying all at once. Doctor Foster tapped Tommy and Andy gently, indicating that they should all leave and let the two young lovers be alone.

"So get your ass over here and screw me." Kyle demanded.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Didn't Doctor Foster explain it to you?"

"Obviously he didn't. Explain what?"

"Even though you know I love you more than anyone or anything in this world, and would never, ever intentionally do ANYTHING to hurt you, it is a sure bet that penetrating you would cause you to react like you're being raped again."

"Why? I want you to screw me so bad I can't stand it. I want you to fill my ass so full of your cum that people will be able to hear it sloshing around inside me from a mile away."

Jay kissed Kyle gently. He froze, with a look of terror in his eyes. "You see what I mean? Consciously you know it's me. Subconsciously, you feel like you're being raped. If you freeze up like that over a simple kiss, imagine how you would react to me penetrating you?"

Kyle pressed the call button. "I need to speak with Doctor Foster right away."

A few moments later, Doctor Foster came into the room. "Yes, Kyle?"

"I can't even share a kiss with my boyfriend of over five years without freaking out. You need to fix me and fix me now!"

"I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. However, realizing that there is something wrong that needs to be fixed is half the battle. We'll get started on the other half shortly. Believe me, this was not unanticipated, nor is it uncommon among rape victims."

"I don't care if it's common or not, anticipated or not. I want to have sex with my boyfriend. He needs to know how much I love him and need him. He needs to be shown that, and the only way I know of is him screwing me into the middle of next week."

"I understand that you feel that way..."

"No you don't. How could you understand how I feel?" Kyle's voice started to take on a slightly hysterical note."

"Kyle," he began soothingly. "I never said I understood HOW you feel. I said that I understood THAT you feel that way. I wouldn't insult your intelligence by saying that I understood how you feel. How can I? I'm not you and I've never experienced what you and Jay have just been through. But I do want to help you get through this. While I can't go into any details, I can tell you that Jay has made amazing progress in dealing with his ordeal."

"But I didn't freak out when he hugged me. It felt wonderful to be held in his arms."

"That's because we're conditioned to accept hugs in a platonic way, with no sexual overtones, unlike kissing, caressing or the sex act itself. Also know this. Jay knows what's at stake, and he's not going to engage in sexual activity of any kind with you until I give him the okay, which will not happen until I feel you're ready."

"How long is it going to take?"

"That depends on you. It could take a couple of weeks or several months. Maybe even a year."

"Okay" Kyle responded slowly, dragging the word out. "So let's get to work on me. The thought of having to wait a year to make love to him is totally unacceptable."

"Okay. I'll be back around four to talk with you more. I need to find out just how deep-seated your trauma is before we can treat it."

"Great. I can't wait to get started."

"Understand this, Kyle. It's not going to be easy. You're going to have to relive the memories of your kidnapping and rape. It will be very painful, but absolutely necessary. You also need to realize that, contrary to any belief you may currently hold, none of this was your fault. Nor was it Jay's. You are both the latest in a long list of unfortunate victims of a sociopath, and a particularly violent and abusive one at that."

"If you say so."

"I do. Now get some rest and I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Okay, Doc."

Chapter 25

Several weeks later...

Jay looked up as Kyle came in the front door, arms loaded with groceries. He jumped up, rushed to the door and took some of the bags from him.

"What's all this for?" Jay asked as he helped Kyle unpack and put away the groceries.

"I'm kind of tired of pizza and Chinese. I thought I'd make us a nice dinner tonight."

"What would you say if I told you that I made dinner reservations for us at Houlihans?"

"Oh I love Houlihans. What's the occasion?"

"No occasion. I just wanted to take you out for a night on the town. I thought it would be great to have a nice night out, just the two of us."

"That sounds fabulous. Let me jump in the shower real quick then I'll be ready.

"Wear something nice." He called to Kyle as he went about changing his clothes and make sure everything was where it needed to be.

"Good evening, welcome to Houlihans. Do you have a reservation?"

"Hi, yes I do. It's under the name of Edwards. Jayson Edwards."

"Ah, yes. Here we are, Jayson Edwards, party of two. Right this way, please."

The hostess led them to a small, private dining alcove. Hmmm Kyle thought to himself. Fancy restaurant, private dining alcove, Jay is up to something as he noticed the champagne chilling in a bucket and the candles on the table.

"Okay, Jay. What are you up to?"

"What makes you think I'm up to something?"

"Oh, I don't know, fancy restaurant, private alcove, candles, champagne."

"Kyle, when was the last time we enjoyed a quiet, leisurely dinner together?"

"I can't remember it's been so long."

"Well, there's your answer. I'm taking the man I love more than anything else in this world out for a nice, quiet dinner. That's what I'm up to. We've been through so much bad shit lately I wanted us to have a special night together."

Kyle kissed Jay deeply. "Tonight is going to be so special. It means more to me than you could imagine. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Kyle." Jay thought to himself. Kyle, you have no idea what's about to happen to you. If you think this dinner is special, wait until later.

"Good evening. My name is Megan. I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you something to drink before dinner?"

"What do you have on tap?"

"Bud, Bud lite, Miller, Miller lite, Heineken and Lowenbrau."

"I'll take a Bud lite, please."

"Could I have a diet coke, please?"

"Okay. Tonight's specials are prime rib, $12.95, shrimp scampi, $11.95 and surf and turf, $21.95. While you take a few minutes to look over the menu, I'll go get your drinks."

"Thank you."

"Thanks, Megan."

"You never really developed the taste for alcohol, did you, Kyle?"

"Not really. I've tried it, but it always tasted funny to me."

"Well, what looks good to you?"

"You do."

"I meant on the menu, silly."

"It all looks good. What are you having?"

"I don't know, Kyle, but that surf and turf is very tempting."

"I'm leaning towards the stuffed chicken breast."

"Look, I know how much you love shrimp scampi. Why don't you order that?"

"I'm really in the mood for chicken."

The orders were placed and the two men ate in comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

"I can't eat another bite. I'm stuffed."

"You were supposed to save room for dessert."

"Too late."

"If you'll excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the little boy's room."

"Kyle, there's one thing you're not, and that's little. While you're in the bathroom, I'll pour the champagne."

Kyle just shrugged his shoulders and left to go to the bathroom. Jay opened the champagne and poured two glasses. In Kyle's glass, he placed a solid gold wedding band. Kyle returned and sat down, not noticing the ring in his glass. Jay took his glass and raised it. "Here's to you, Kyle. I love you more than anyone or anything in this universe."

Kyle raised his glass. "To..." was all he could say as he noticed the ring in the glass. He looked from Jay to the glass, then back to Jay, totally speechless. Jay stood up, walked around the table and knelt at Kyle's feet.

"Kyle, I love you. I put you through hell. You had every right to wash your hands of me, to walk away and not look back. But you didn't, which means more to me than you could possibly imagine. But the life we share is no longer enough for me." He ignored the stunned look on his chosen one's face. "Will you do me the honor of marrying me? I want you to be my husband."

Kyle reached down and wiped a tear from Jay's eye, his own eyes moist. "Jay, my beloved, nothing would make me happier." They both stood and embraced each other and kissed tenderly.

A few minutes later, Megan returned, noting that something had changed between the two men. "How was everything?"

Jay looked at Kyle, the love between them so thick you could feel it. "Perfect. Everything was absolutely perfect."

"Can I get you anything else?"

"No thanks, Megan. If you would just bring the check please, we have somewhere to be soon."

"Okay. I'll be right back." A few minutes later, she returned with the check and handed it to Jay.

Jay took the check, turned it over and just stared at it. "Congratulations Jayson and Kyle. Best wishes for a long and happy life, Doctor Foster." Wordlessly he handed the check to Kyle, who could only stare at it. "How did he know?"

"I mentioned my plan to bring you here and propose to you during our session today. I showed him the ring and told him that I already had reservations for this alcove and requested the champagne. I was nervous as hell, afraid you'd say no. He insisted that you would say yes."

Kyle took Jay's face in his hands. "Baby, why did you think I'd say no?"

"Because of everything I put you through."

Kyle covered Jay's mouth with his own. "Never doubt my love for you. Even when we were separated and I was mad as hell at you I never stopped loving you. Never have and never will."

Jay took out his cell phone and dialed the hospital. "This is Jayson Edwards. I'm a patient of Doctor Foster's. Could I speak to him, please?" The operator transferred him to the Doctor's office, but his voicemail picked up. "Doctor Foster, this is Jayson. Kyle and I want to thank you..."

"Hi, Jayson" Doctor Foster interrupted. "How'd your little plan go?"

"He said yes, Doc, just like you said he would. We can't thank you enough for all that you have done for us. You certainly didn't have to pay for our dinner."

"Consider it a wedding present. Now isn't there someplace you have to be?"

"Yes, and thanks again, Doc, from both of us."

"You're welcome. Have fun!"

Jay hung up and dialed another number. "Tommy" he practically yelled into the phone. "Kyle said yes!!!!!"

"Like there was any doubt he would. Listen. I've got something you'll want to see at the Center. Why don't you swing by for a couple of minutes?"

"Can we do it some other time? We just want to get home."

"Yeah, and what are you going to do when you get home?" He teased.

"I think you already know the answer to that question!" Jay laughed into the phone.

"Please, just for a couple of minutes."

"Oh, okay, but only for a couple of minutes." Jay capitulated and hung up. A few minutes later, they arrived at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Community Center.

"What are we doing here?"

"Tommy told me about a special event going on tonight he wants us to check out."

"Okay."

They got out of the truck and went into the building. Jay asked about an event scheduled by Tommy Adams and was directed to the appropriate room. Jay had Kyle go in first. He stopped dead in his tracks as he surveyed the room. At the far end was a huge banner that read "Congratulations, Kyle and Jayson." Their friends appeared out of nowhere, Tommy and Andy both with huge shit-eating grins on their faces. Hugs and tears abounded.

As they hugged, Jay asked Tommy "how'd you know he'd say yes?"

"While you were in the hospital, Kyle told me that he intended to pop the question to you when he thought the time was right. You just beat him to it. When you called me this morning and told me what you had planned, I called the Center, reserved the room and set everything up."

Jay hugged him tighter. "Thank you." He whispered.

"You're welcome. Now, go be with your fiancé and enjoy your engagement party."

Chapter 26

"Jay, I'm tired and want to go to bed, but first there's something I want to talk with you about."

"What's that, honey?"

"I want you to sleep with me tonight. I want to go to sleep in your arms and wake up with you next to me. I don't want you sleeping in the guest room tonight."

"I can't, Kyle. Doctor Foster says you're not ready to have sex with me yet." Jay responded, disappointment clouding his voice despite his best efforts.

"No, I don't mean have sex with me. I understand all that. I just want you lying next to me. I was never forced to suck his dick. So maybe I can suck you off, satisfy you that way, rather than you having to whack off in the bathroom."

Jay blushed, not realizing that Kyle knew how often he had to do that to take care of his needs. He felt guilty at not being able to satisfy Kyle's needs, but he was afraid to touch him in anything other than a platonic way. Kyle was finally able to snuggle up to him on the couch and share an occasional deep kiss, but he didn't want to push him for fear of undoing all the progress he had made. Their ordeal had shown him just what a precious gift Kyle was and he didn't want to take any chances on losing that gift.

"Okay, I'll sleep in the bed with you tonight, and I'll even hold you. I don't think that oral sex is such a good idea, though."

"But I want it so desperately. I want so bad to satisfy you that I can't stand it."

"But what if you freak out? It could undo all the progress you've made. Is it worth the risk?"

"To me, yes. Making love to you is definitely worth the risk."

"Okay, on one condition.''

"What's that?"

''That if you start to feel the least bit uncomfortable, we stop, whether I've come or not. Deal?"

''Deal!''

''On second thought, there's one other condition."

''I had a feeling there might be. What is it?"

"That I get to reciprocate.

Kyle thought about it for a few minutes. "But I thought you had been forced to blow him more than once? Wouldn't you have a problem with it?"

"Who said anything about blowing me?"

"Then what are you talking about?'' Kyle asked, confused.

"I'm talking about you fucking me."

"Huh?"

''Kyle, I've kind of gotten accustomed to being fucked and I'd like to know what it feels like to be fucked by someone who really and truly loves me, not just someone who's only interested in fucking me in order to get their rocks off."

''But you're a top and I'm a bottom." Kyle replied, even more confused.

''You've never topped before?" Jay asked, incredulous.

''Never."

''Haven't you ever wondered what it felt like to fuck a guy and come inside his hot, tight ass?"

"I'd be lying if I said no."

"Well then, tonight you're going to find out. You're going to shoot the biggest load of your life into my ass."

"But what if you decide you like getting fucked by me more than you like fucking me?"

"Not to worry. The most that will happen is that I will like getting fucked by you almost as much as I like fucking you. I will always want to fuck your brains out."

"You promise?"

"I promise!"

"Let's go to bed, then."

''Wow! That was the most intense orgasm I've ever had." Kyle exclaimed as he gently withdrew himself from the body of his lover.

''I take it that you enjoyed it?"

"More than I would have imagined I would." Kyle replied, surprise coloring his tone.

"Better than getting blown?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I enjoyed it too."

"More than fucking me?" He asked, apprehensive.

"Would you be upset if I didn't?"

"Are you kidding? Getting fucked by you is the most awesome experience in the world. I can't get enough of you inside me. I just wish...." He faltered.

Jay gathered him into his arms. "What do you wish, baby?"

"I'm just afraid I'll lose you again. I wish we didn't have to use condoms. I also wish I could get pregnant and give you a child."

"You're not going to lose me. All I thought about while I was being held was you. Being separated from you has made me realize what a precious gift you are to me. I so wish I could make you believe how much I love you and how much I regret what happened."

Kyle kissed him deeply. "I do believe you, with all my heart."

Jay returned the kiss as his hands started to caress various parts of Kyle's body. "You are such an incredible person, so full of love, tenderness and compassion."

"My so-called tenderness and compassion weren't very evident That Day. I'm so very, VERY sorry I hit you. I was just so angry and hurt. I promise I will never, ever hit you again."

"Shhh, Baby. Don't worry about it. I probably would have done the same thing if I had walked in and found you being fucked by another guy." He kissed him gently. "Tell me what's been happening in your life since That Day. You never did tell me why you came home early, although I don't think you'll never fully understand how glad I was that you did."

"Well, I got a call earlier that day from the Mister Jennings over at the art gallery, wanting to do an exhibit of my paintings."

"Kyle, that's fabulous. How many do you have in the exhibit?"

"Fourteen."

"I want to go see it tomorrow."

"You're not going to believe this, but twenty-three paintings have been sold. I've made over ten thousand dollars."

"Wow! What are you going to do with all that money?"

"How would you like to go on a trip to Hawaii?"

"No way! Hawaii? For real?"

"For real. When can you get some vacation time?"

"I'm on sixty days medical absence, so it doesn't really matter."

"Great. I still have a month of summer vacation left, so let's go to a travel agency and make plans. I've never been to Hawaii, but I've always wanted to go."

"Me too. The problem is, I may get over there and not want to come back."

"Well, after we talk with the travel agency, we can always stop by a realtor and see about putting the house up on the market."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Kind of, but not really. We could check things out. You could probably get a transfer, and I might be able to get a job. Who knows...I'm only a few credit hours short of my doctorate. I could finish up my thesis before we move. 'Doctor Kyle Matthews-Williams, Physicist'. I like the sound of that."

"You would. However, I like the sound of 'Kyle Matthews-Williams, househusband, mother of my children." Jay teased.

"BITCH!" Kyle yelled, hitting Jay with a pillow which led to wrestling with Jay ending up laying on Kyle's back, his erection resting between Kyle's butt-cheeks. Kyle's frantic struggling made Jay realize where he was. He immediately rolled off of Kyle, who was out of bed like a shot, cowering in a corner, crying hysterically.

Jay was immediately by his side, trying to comfort him, but Kyle was so lost in panic and flashbacks that he didn't recognize Jay. Now look what you've done, you fucking asshole! He berated himself. Looking down and noticing his erection, he berated himself further for his lack of self-control. He grabbed his cell phone and called Doctor Foster, explaining what had happened.

"Dammit Jay! It's too soon. I'm coming with the ambulance. What's your address?"