by SpicyCooking
I wish all writers here would look up what narrator intrusion is and then not do it.
Fun and sexy. "that donkey in Tijuana" would be a good title for a story.
Overall, this was a great story. I'd love to read Chapter 2.
You refer to her as Cheryl on page one and not Claire and that was a distraction. "A few weeks later I am in my front yard pruning roses when Cheryl drives by." It was a fun read otherwise.
Completely believable, the build up and pace set the tone nicely and it felt very VERY possible... The comment about the donkey in Tijuana was the only thing I'd change. Otherwise... Bravo! I'm 100% turned on.
Fabulous fucking description. (Need a big cock now...)
Page 2 was really erotic and exciting, but the build-up on Page 1 just went on and on.
Loved the story.
Develops nicely and in believable fashion.
Hope you develop the relationship into more chapters.
Great job. You developed it so well and moved it along perfectly. Enjoyed it.
Very well written. Nicely paced and very erotic. Disappointed to not see more of this authors work here. More more more.....maybe additional repressed wives in this community needing "servicing".....or even group therapy?
Really well written, sexy, story, that gave me a hard-on immediately. Well done!