by MsJulieDoll
A very good erotic story. Not really a love story but close to it.
I really liked it. Only thing I would change iss the very begining. Just a little too much description of the toiletries preparaations.
Other than that - great!
Very nice and slow motion pitcure story. I could imagine if it was true story.
first story. Very descriptive, you built your characters well and brought us into the story such that we could almost be a fly on the wall watching.
Everything blended exceptionally well. You will go far.
Keep up the great work.
George
This was the most beautifully-crafted he said/she said erotic coupling I have read this year. In these over-the-top times, it is so easy to take a "been there, done that" attitude towards straight sex. Julie Doll proves the human libido can make ANY sexual adventure a memorable one. I will never again be able to look at a one-on-one meeting with 'the boss' in the same old way.
Nice story.
I think your giving the brand names of common objects makes it sound like a product palcement. Does it matter if it was a Mobil station?
And both do take quite a bit of time to get dressed. Her's at least shows why she ends up in stockings instead of pantyhose, (too bad all paniyhose dod not sefl distruct! <g>) but I did not see why David could not simply appear at the gas station dressed as he was dressed.
Also, several characters are introduced and then dropped. What was the point of Davind talking to the CEO before he meets Julie? And Jason the poor slesman? And Nancy the overweight secretary? In a short story every word should count.
wonderful...very well written. julie has the patience and confidence to introduce characters, set mood, and she delivers in the end. thank you.
Great story! Well writing! Very Erotic!!!!! I hope to read more of your stories in the near future.
Good build up and character descriptions, and of course hot sex.
—Artist1
I love tiny Asian women. I may not have pulled out...
The storyline was great overall however, the beginning was overly descriptive without reason (the shower scene) which caused it to drag out a little.
I liked the back and fourth between each of their perspectives however, I didn't feel it was necessary once it reached the sex scene. It became repetitive. At that point in the story, in my opinion, it would have been a good idea to zoom out and narrate from a general point of view.
Great job overall though! The characters were very well depicted! Having them "meet" at the gas station was very clever.
Bravissima! I love your story, gave you a 5+ [5.25/5=105% "above expectations" (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐+)]!
The story is both very erotic and reasonably true to life.