All Comments on 'The Night At Mount Mauna Kea'

not sure this was in the right categoryaa95

the hawaii and surfing stuff was cool, but i would have liked to learn more about alex's and oceania's personalities and what they think about beyond being crazy in love and destined for each other. also, check out the volunteer editors on lit - your spelling is good, but they could help with grammar and flow.

The writing itself is good on a technical level, detailed and descriptive, but the story is rather abrupt in nature. It feels like the writing starts half way through the story and transitions occur with little segue.