All Comments on 'The Night Before'

Another different take on the old subject. Had to read it twice to figure out all of the twists and turns of the characters. Still not sure I got it straight. Really clever! As you can see, I liked it. Thanks.

Paul

The narrator is really a dumb ass. Luckily, he came out smelling like a rose after falling into a vat of shit.

Boyd

Where's the next part? Yes, I'm a greedy bastard.

It is 1:30am and I just finished this story by laughing so loud I woke the wife. How do I explain this? Many thanks for some much needed hilarity.

This one really got me going — laughing all the way. And damn, a couple of really great lines — Jimmy Hoffa, and Elvis! Oh my goodness — great wit, great execution (so to speak, excuse me Roberta!)

You are certainly right about one thing. This was a cluster bomb going off and almost everyone got hit by shrapnal. Anyway great story as always.

as always. I really hope that he knew more about the company

than he knew about the people around him. Salamis is right, it is dangerous to read HDK when you can not tell other people why you are laughing!

Talk about Jerry Springer/Oprah shit. And folks this is how the low class run even if they have a little money.

I certainly didn't mean to give you a Zero. I am sorry about that:( This was a great story I liked it a lot..

But if I give you two 100% scores does that cancel out my other score? Anyone know?

Another great one,HDK! Thanks!

He gets his head out of his ass and moves on, Still, a fun read.

The charlie Chan thing ...the jimmy hoffa comment... well frankly it was kind of dumb and over the top and well a little boring. I read about 3 or 4 novel mysteries a week and I had to go back and forth a few times to figure out who was who.

<br></br>

Eh..

I loved it. It was a great story, but I have always expected that from you. One of my few writing idols. To me the humor was an added bonus.

Congarts on a geat write, with the highest regards

DG Hear

<p>The ending was too abrupt.</p>

<p>To be honest I put the pieces together early. I figured out it was a lovers square (as opposed to a lovers triangle since there were 4 people involved =) that went wrong early on. That's not my problem. The problem was this comment:</p>

<p><i>Have you ever sat in a conversation where you had no idea what was going on? You understand each word that is being used, but collectively, they seem to have no meaning?</i></p>

<p>That comment I got, but the ending was so short that the reader was expected to fill in the gaps. That's where you lost me.</p>

<p>You end up with more questions than you had going in. What happened to the wife? His family? His wife's sister and her husband? Their family? We know he became CEO, but did he take his bosses wife up on her offer to be her new toy? How did his wife's family take the news? Did his wife and her brother in-law shack up? After years of cheating on him did they divorce, or did they stay married and he try to get something back from other women to sooth himself? Etc. See lots of questions, and ending does nothing but generate more questions for me</p>

<p>While I found myself laughing from time to time there were lots of questions that sprinkled up and I never seemed to have them resolved.</p>

-Risq

Absolutly loved it! Your style is just great and I really look forward to more. I think DG got it right.

I really don't expect anything too deep from you but this time you even disappointed me with the light hearted stuff.

I love the fact that you have injected some humor in such a serious situation of adultry. It was hard to keep track of the players but overall, I enjoyed it.

the last sentence made me choke on my coffee. good one. thanks!

It was a bit of a mystery for a while but finally got straightened out. the humor was just the icing on the cake. Thanks for the good story........Rich

Anytime I see your name it is an automatic read. I understand the one commentator who wanted more answers at the end... but we can't have everything. Sill loved it!

As a big fan of HDK,I found this story to be real disappointing. Much as I hate to agree with Harryin Va, I thought this attempt at humor was over the top. By the time I figured out who was whom the story ended. Sad, if you can't depend on HDK, who can you depend on.

the Ct. Yankee

of the acclaimed critics who couldn't follow the story. No wonder they normally give lousy scores, they don't understand what they're reading. Now we know the rest of the story.<p>The story was fun to read, good entertainment.

I thought the story was well told. Well done!

Chloe

I was reminded of another image –mine borrowed from a comic film” The blond with black shoe” this clueless innocent guy walks in the midst of any kinds of storm or a cluster bomb – to borrow from GW language – without ever realizing what’s happening and that any evil conspirators surrounding him end up hurting each other or themselves, but never get as far as even leaving a scratch on the blonds’ black shoes…<P>

I guess when it comes to humor – it’s a matter of ‘if you laughed it means that it worked’…And boy did I laugh (something has to be REALLY funny to make laugh early in the morning…) <P>

For those who struggled with the confusion of characters/timing-a simple chart works wonders.

I understand what some people are saying about the story being a tad confusing. Let me say I think HDK wrote it that way deliberately. Can't you just see the poor husband's head spin as he tries to put all the pieces together? As for the abrupt ending and the complaints that HDK should have "finished" the story by going through excruiating detail about what happened after, that's what your own imaginations are for! Fill in the blanks yourself.

*Giggling* Kolkore, nice analogy with a favorite old movie that I had not thought of but fit very nicely into this. By the way, the title was "The Man with One Red Shoe" with Tom Hanks, Jim Belushi, Carrie Fisher and a host of other funy people.

HDK: Perhaps you should have furnished everyone with a score card. This was very well done. It's been too long a wait too read something by you. Many thanks.

It may take two readings for most of us dumb readers--but then again it's worth it! And the story gets even funnier and crazier the second time through, when we know what's going on. All hail the master!

Very Good, but i think the story needs an Aftermath explaining some points, and what happened with the others.

Thanks for the words and as always your time.

any HDK is better than none.Dammit.Pistolpackinpete

Thank You very much HDK ! What an amazing conversation !

after that conversation, did he finally reveal where Jimmy Hoffa was buried or not? That was a truly dizzying read!

This story had a complicated way of telling it! It was hard to understand what the fuck was being said and about whom. But in the end I did understand......... I think!

Interesting story as usual though!

Thanks for writing!

Great read. This would also fit well in Humor & Satire.

KARMA

This was great, just plain great!

so I gave it 1 start.

With very subtle and inspired humor. It cannot get any better than this! What an entertainment !!!

Hdk,

Outstanding story.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Starts out as a serious whodunnit and then takes a hard left turn into surreal absurdity. Loved it.

Thanks for the snapshot story really Brilliantly abbreviated wriing

whats a guy have to do. TK U MLJ LV NV

Nice ride and just plain fun -

Thanks

It's frustrating when the story can't be told straight, but must be

created in cutesy twists by hiding information. HDK does it often, but

he isn't alone in the LW genre.

'nough said.

Smart, funny, and unique. Loved it.

I think part of the reason is that most of my life I walk around like Frank. I understand the words but put them together and they have no meaning.

Stupidity woven with idiocy and flippancy, written by Machine Gun Kelly. Sorry, I can't find anything good about it.

Most stories that I read on the Loving Wife's portion of this site do no provoke a strong visceral feeling from me. Of course I screen them and ignore some of most idiotic themes such as a man who loves watching his wife get fucked by someone else just as one example and there many more. This story is the kind I gravitate toward i.e. cheating wives. I thought the story was cleverly written and certainly introduced the adultery in a unique way. But, I felt the ending was premature and not a true ending at all. What was painfully missing was what action would our hero take against his slut wife.

Quite delightfully!

LMAO!!!!!!

Choke Choke !!!!!

(Snorted my coffee :-O. )

there are too many substitutions. TK U MLJ LV NV

I agree it was bad stand-up comedy. This one you had to be sitting down for before reading or you'd wind up rolling around on the floor while laughing so hard. A great and very unique story. There is a reason that great comedy teams always had a straight man (re: Abbott & Costello, Laurel & Hardy, etc.) to pull the story out of the funny man. It gives multiple punch lines in an order that evokes the greatest response. This story followed a very classic formula in a delightful and very appreciated manor.

Great Story HDK. Keep it up, please.

Classic hdk! 5

But for a supposedly smart guy, Frank didn't seem to have much of a clue about his wife. Guess it's just a case of getting lucky and the chips falling his way. I'd still like to hear more about the fallout after they get out of the hospital and jail.

You know the plot here could be a series on Showtime. Or maybe Cinemax. No definetly Showtime. We could call it "Who is fucking who?

HA

HDK, you really have a wonderfully weird mind, but man does it produce some great stories. Funny, well timed, well crafted, you are in the league with Abbot and Costello and "whos on first". Loved it.

For a dumb cuckold that really did nothing, he came out smelling like a rose! Or Marge, as the case may be. I enjoyed this one a lot. Clever, original take on cheaters. Keep after it!

I wonder if he was really that stupid. thanks for a funny one.

Fuck's sake man! Can this guy get any more dumb!?

That should have been the title of this funny story. I wonder if he had a heart attack before all that transpired became clear to him? In the end he made out like a bandit. Very funny. Well done.

the very bestest revenge is to convince your enemies to rip one another to shreds!

or the other end also, TK U MLJ LV NV

I read this again after considerable time and I cannot get over how HDK takes us along. Frank is confused, we are confused, nothing is making sense and yet we are laughing and rolling with the story. Hell of a funny story, but the execution by the author is truly magnificent. HDK you are one very talented writer.

Thank you again for a lot of laughs.

How did I miss this? What was I doing that I didn't read this sooner? Who are the fools that gave this less than a five?

HDK stands for He's da king! Da king of the loving wife yarn. I mean like wow, holy moly. Like Ohio said it took two readings to get it all.

Gee! Gosh! Criminy! Nobody does it better!

It was awesome!

Haha, I had to laugh out loud here. It's too bad, that the story ends at that pun-line.

or very blind to everything going on around him.

As an old boss of mine used to say: "It's better to be lucky than good."

Or the old saying from my older relatives: "Fall in an outhouse and come out smelling like a rose."

And there are people like that.

I laughed my ass off. I reread this every few months to laugh. Thanks for this.

I like to laugh and this story make me laugh a lot...Thank you

Anyone working for that company better send out the job allocations NOW! Because any company run by someone as terminally dense as that guy, doesn't have long left in the open market!

...on First?

I STILL need a scorecard to figure out who was doing what with whom!

Between this and "Not Guilty" by HDK it is hard to figure out which is funnier. Great prose and an even more twisted mind on the part of the writer. Keep it up!

This author has quite the imagination. It was a very creative story. Even though I had to go back and reread a couple sections to get the characters straightened out. The only thing wrong with this story was that the husband didn't set this mayhem up. Thanks for an entertaining and funny story.

I just "turned" 70 and I was able to follow everything. I don't laugh out loud, but I certainly smiled a great deal as I read this. I wonder how many younger readers "got" things like the OK corral, hog iron, Charlie Chan, etc.? I'm certain, however, readers at every age understood prime pussy. Must run. I've heard four message beeps from FaceBook - likely my lib friends responding to one or more of my recent posts. *****

Love it.

No!!!!!!!!! Who's on second!!!!!

Previous commentator had it right - Who's on first? But if he can't figure out whose pussy Marge is offering him how can he be smart enough to run the Company? Still laughing!

Know I know who the man on the grassy knoll was.

HDK!

Another fat finger cell phone typo in previous comment.

Closet cuckolds have no senses of fucking humor

HDK is the king of LW comedy

Any time the cheaters lose is a good time. The good people win. Excellent.

I think you're the master of this kind of story.

Charming, witty, funny..... very entertaining.

An easy 5*

gave me a headache...

Ha!Ha!Ha!

I nearly laughed my ass off. I can just see something like this actually happening.

Just read it again. How much hilarity can you pack into two pages? All that talent, wasted on a man! You're my guy.<3

This was actually a pretty good story. I enjoyed reading it. However, I wish you could have stuck with it and had more to it. somethings like what happened to all the assholes that went to the hospital, what he did do with his whore wife in regards to revenge. In fact revenge to the brother-in-law as well as his dipshit boss. minor things like that. anyway 5 stars to you.

Way to funny!!! Lol.

This had it all. This story can be used to instruct writers on how to write an entertaining story. You seem to be a Feast or Famine writer. Either 1-Star and scathing comments from readers; or 5-stars, your story selected as a Favorite Story, and the highest praises possible. Love you or hate you, they will not forget you!

Thanks, a smile all the way through.

Jack's doin' Tessa who's doin' Jeff who's doin' Roberta who's doin' Marge who's doin' Jack who's doin' Jeff who's doin' ....FUCK!!! I can't keep up with all that!!

It was a somewhat humorous story but JFK (Jiminy Fucking Kricket), who was doing

who, and who could keep up with all that? 3 Stars for the effort.

The story is funny and really sarcastic, but the ending really cracked me up! Still smiling... my cheeks hurt!

Especially the happy ending.

Shades of the Keystone Cops, what a tangled affair.

Just what I needed!

Thanks!

dumb shit.