The Not so Secret Agent Ch. 12

After she left Arthur looked around, feeling less groggy and more bored, there were ten hospital beds in the long narrow room, five of them occupied, Arthur was in the last bed against the outside wall, and the nearest patient was four empty beds away. Arthur mused how fearful they were of his influence; warning the staff, chaining him to the bed, treating him like some spy-mastermind.

Bored, with no entertainment at all, not even a TV in the room, Arthur looked at the handcuffs. There was no way to get them loose without disassembling the railing, and someone would probably notice that. He did see a small finish nail holding up a calendar above his head.

"Pick the lock maybe," Arthur spoke English in a raspy whisper. "If I could reach it," Arthur glanced at the other patients, "But I'll have to kill some witnesses." Arthur stared absently out the window and formulated an elaborate escape plan with no fewer than three stolen vehicles, multiple ridiculous disguises, and several unnecessary explosions. That done, he checked the clock. Only half an hour had passed but it was at least lunchtime.

Arthur sat up in bed as an elderly woman came to deliver his tray; she hesitated when she saw that the criminal patient was handcuffed.

"Don't worry, I won't bite."

The old woman looked horrified. Arthur realized that he should stop trying to translate American phrases into Danubian. It came out more like: "Don't think I won't bite you!" She put the tray and drink down on the side table and hurried off.

Arthur stretched as far as the handcuffs would allow and barely grasped the table leg with his fingertips. It made a terrible screech as he dragged it across the tile floor, all the other patients were staring, obviously annoyed. Arthur smiled and waved apologetically while saying vulgar things to them in English.

He set the tray in his lap and removed the cover with his free right hand. "Ugh... What is this? Pea soup and plain toast. Come on!"