All Comments on 'The Other Woman'

Your story has been reviewed. You can see the review on the New story reviews thread on the Authors' Hangout here: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428901&page=11&pp=25

Any comments or questions pertaining to that review can be directed to that thread: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?p=18265130#post18265130

The writing is a bit uneven, but in the final analysis, the end product is nothing short of superb. The story is great; for your next piece, work on the flow of the writing, but maintain your basic approaches.

-- KVK

YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME! I might not have written it the way you did... I'd have had him a bit more aggressive after finding his wife in the truck... but it's still a good read. ENCORE!!

Nice work, Jack. Simple, sweet, without a lot of anger or bitterness. Sometimes it's really like that - it's called life.

Based on feedback it's clear that I submitted this in the wrong genre so I'm changing it to Romance. The story is about "The Other Woman" as implied by the title ... NOT really about the wife. Not everyone wants to go to jail for a marriage that is already over.

By the way, the ending has been rewritten and expanded - don't expect it for a while since this took eight days to post.

I assume readers understand that when you ask questions of the author you need to have a userid: I have no way to respond to anonymous comments.

Regards, DJ

I like your style. You come from my kind of country and come across just right.

L.R.Bacon \ Thank You

is what is the age difference between Dottie and Bobbie (I gathered he was in his 40s)? Is was not clear in the story whether it was age difference or lifestyle differences which soured their marriage. It seems like the difference between city and country.

One thing that bothered me throughout was Bobby's passivity about Dottie's cheating and the lack of consequences for her. After all she brought her lover to his house and she made him feel at home. Bobby smashed her jeep (which we did not hear anything about further) but the rest of his interaction with Dottie was equivalent to her forgetting to stock the frig with beer. Bobbie spent so much time running away it is amazing that they could agree to the 3 month separation (which was a waste of time).

I agree that romance works better than loving wives because there was not enough conflict to know that a marriage was at stake. I scored it higher because the writing was superb.

SleeplessinMD

I can picture you sitting on a porch just telling stories. Always lots of songs and detail. You are one of the best. My hat is always off to salute you.

Your friend and fellow writer

DG Hear

The style and tone of this story made it very enjoyable. However, your overuse of quotes from songs and other sources was annoying. These did not give the story a stronger context. As one who has read and liked all of your stories I must ask why you persist in this overuse of outside references. The habit is most annoying. Let your ego rest and give your story a chance to be dominant.

A good story as always. DJ, you are one of the best.

but I really expected an ass kicking somewhere along the line.

Jack:

The problem with these stories seems to lie with the readers more then the authors. This commentor wants his revenge, that one wants his pound of flesh, and the next wants reconciliation at all costs. The truth of the matter is that if the author has properly developed his characters, they will decide the ultimate outcome, which will not please everyone. You did a fine job of character development and it was plain to see the hero was not going to be an ass buster. He is a thinker and he needed the time to work things out in his head. The end result worked for him to the dis-pleasure of some readers, but the end did fit the character and his philosophy. Thank You. Ronnie W.

No, it wasn't in the wrong genre. Yes, it would fit in a couple of other categories. I think Ronnie Wachuka pretty well summed it up. The characters did determine the outcome. Not every cheating spouse story needs violence or some sort of perverted revenge. I can't think of a better way to hurt the unfaithful wife than telling her, in spite of her betrayal, that he will remain true to his vows. Asking for her permission was the ultimate slap in her face.

Thank you, Author, for a story well told.

What did Annie mean she will be late is she messing around already or was she saying she is pregnant?

Pat

Atlanta,Ga

I think I belong to the revenge type of readers but I also think that revenge doesn't automatically have to imply violence. She turned green when he asked if she knew a guy with a white F250. She may have turned white if he had added that fortunately for both her and loverboy, he took his anger out on her windshield and headlights instead of them. Great story. G.Belgium

Such a novelty to read a believable story without the obligatory cuckold language, gangbangs and revenge. Just plain it's over, let's move on with life

You told it well Jack. It was certainly worth the 5 Stars I gave it!

A firm man with a VERY slow fuse when you get right down to it -

He walked away that first night - simply threw the guy out when he was in house - actually gave Dottie the chance to decide to stay and change once she confessed she had been running around on him for 2 years while faking the back and snoring issue that put him in his bed alone.

But he did the right thing sand i hope would have regardless of what Dottie decided - she was a cheater and would never stop - she knew it and said it so he deserved better - done, over !!

Except fr the ever present miracle of the perfect replacement waiting in the wings - a believable story with a well paced rhythm.

Just one little nit to pick, if I may. His wife is going to drive from Sabinal to Hereford to visit a sick friend and she 'might stay overnight'? Jeez, it's damn near 500 miles from Sabinal to Hereford, halfway across Texas, and she "MIGHT" stay overnight?

That one made me laugh out loud. Still, it's a good story. Thanks, Jake.

Excellent story!

Country songs, country settings, good country morals; and behavior and a great country story! Thank you!!