by boneams
very well you r cooking the meet buddy. Now don't quit and complete this damn good one to an end.
Told you that you would not kill Kevin. Well you did but didn't ......Just make up the rules in Chapter 5.....And it all ends in Chapter 6? I think Kevin should get more than one more chapter...
LOVED IT. GLAD U DIDN'T KILL KEVIN AND A FEW OF THE OTHERS OFF. PLEASE KEEP ON GOING. WHO CARES ABOUT SEX SCENES WHEN THE STORY IS THIS DAMN GOOD. I DIDN'T MISS THEM AND I LOVE SEX AS MUCH AS A TEENAGER AND I'M 54YRS OLD. AS I STATED PREVIOUSLY WHO CARES ABOUT SEX WHEN THE STORY IS THIS GOOD. LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTERS. MIND YOU I SAID CHAPTERS NOT CHAPTER. LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT TO THE INFINITE DEGREE.
i wanted to see if kevin's dream came true and he had two kids.
That scene at the end was the funniest thing I've read in a while. (It was pretty obvious that he'd called the president as soon as he told the major general to take the phone.)
If the story needs or calls for erotica fine other wise the story is great as is.
That's just too funny! As for sex scenes, it wouldn't be appropriate when someone is dying! More!!!
I really enjoy this story line and the military aspect! Don't stop writing you have a best seller in you.
Very well written and the lack of sex scenes is not a problem in fact it increases the story's ability to flow. Looking forward to the next chapter with baited breath.
Wow I finally caught up now I have to wait for the next one :-p
I figured you probably wouldn't kill off your main character but as I was reading I was beginning to have my doubts for a second. I get that it's Lit but I'm sure i'm not the only one that thinks when you have a good engaging story the sex becomes irrelevant. So don't feel the need to apologize for it just keep giving us characters with depth and personality that makes you want to care about them.
Wonderful story can't wait for ch6
Toodles
La C.
Great series. I can hardly wait for the final ending. Great suspense and I really enjoy the insight into the life of a seal. I am going to be out of touch for awhile. Off on a cruise.
Who needs sex scenes when u have great story lines & funny characters. I am laughing all over the place here, and feeling well pretty much every emotion that u can think of.
Very well done.
"Sorry I haven't put a lot of sex scenes in yet, but the story sort of flowed that way." No need to apologise - if you're putting in sex scenes because you feel somehow obliged to, that qualifies as "gratuitous sex", and no good story was ever improved by gratuitous sex.
Your story is all over the place, and yet it remains compelling. I'm thinking the "thriller" aspect and the supernatural aspect need to be integrated better - somehow - at the moment, your story doesn't seem to know whether it's a cat or a dog. Either way, you need to start taking your writing seriously - you have real storytelling ability. You need help with the technical aspects of story structure so that you can get published by a conventional publisher. You live in America, I see. As I understand it, American publishers insist that authors work through agents, so see if you can find an agent, but if you can't, submit your work to publishers in other countries. South African publishers work directly with authors, and I think Australian and New Zealand publishers do to. Time to up your ambitions a little.
PS: Your characters point their guns at each other quite a lot - doesn't the American military have rules about that sort of thing? That would land them in a great deal of cacky, I suspect. When you're "cleaning up" a novel for possible publication, this is the kind of detail you'll need to rewrite.