The Past in Colorado

"This ok?" I whispered.

"Yeah," came his soft reply.

I carefully placed my arm around him, waiting to see if he would push me away. I felt him place his hand atop mine, and I closed my eyes, praying he wouldn't reject me. Instead, he pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it, and then held it to his chest.

We fell asleep like this.

***

In the morning, I awoke still facing his side, but with the blanket draped over me. I raised my head and looked at the clock. It was nearly eight-thirty. We were supposed to go hiking at nine. I kicked the blanket off and jumped up, scrambling to get dressed. As I buckled the belt on my shorts, I heard my dad moving about outside. The events from only a few hours before came flooding back, and I closed my eyes and sighed, wondering if I ruined my relationship with my dad. Feeling disheartened and fearful, I sat on the mattress and pulled a mirror from my bag and brushed my hair.

"You awake in there?" he called.

My heart stopped.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered.

"... 'bout time..." he mumbled.

I closed my eyes and sighed in relief. He didn't sound mad. Maybe he just wanted to forget it happened. In some small way, I hoped not, but I was feeling better and quickly stashed my mirror and brush and put my hair in a ponytail. I slowly unzipped the door and stepped outside. Dad had his back to me and was kneeling in front of the campfire making breakfast. He must have heard the zipper and looked over his shoulder. When our eyes met, I whirled around and shut the door. Then I slowly turned, wondering if he was still watching, but he was facing the fire. I brushed my hands down the front of my t-shirt and walked over to stand next to him. Without looking up from the frying pan, he smiled and said good morning.

"Morning," I mumbled.

"Want something to drink?" he asked.

He glanced up and smiled. I shook my head no, my ponytail flopping back and forth.

"Thought you liked orange juice?" he said, flipping a pancake.

I stood watching in silence and when the pancake was done to his satisfaction, he lifted it from the pan with a spatula, setting it on a plate with several others.

"Well," he groaned, as he rose. "I think everything's ready. Hungry?"

We stepped over to the picnic table and sat across from each other. He tried his best to keep things normal, talking about what I wanted to do that day, but I felt as though something should be said. He must have been reading my thoughts, because when a long silence came between us, he reached out for my hand. I looked up and he was smiling. Then he quietly mouthed, "I love you." As he squeezed my hand, the hair on the back of my neck prickled. I pulled my hand away and stood from the table, stepping around to his side. He seemed taken aback by my sudden movements and was about to say something, when I leaned down and planted my lips on his; just a soft, gentle kiss. Then I rose and smiled down at him. His gaze drifted to the table and he reached for a napkin. As he wiped his mouth, I heard him mutter something unintelligible. I giggled nervously, saying, "Dad?" He glanced up to me, giving me a tepid grin. "I love you, too," I said softly. The wrinkles around his eyes deepened, when I said that. Then I leaned down and kissed his cheek, but let my mouth hover by the side of his face and whispered in his ear. "I'm very much in love with you," I said. "With all my heart I am." He was staring down at the table, and then put his arm around my legs and hugged me close.

"Better get your hikin' boots on," he said.

***

For the remainder of the day, we hiked through the beautiful mountains. We took pictures of the scenery, of each other, and Dad even once asked some passing hikers, if they'd take a picture of us together. We stood side by side, our arms around each other, and smiled wide. A few times, he took a picture of me when I didn't expect it. Once, I had leaned down to look at a little bush filled with bright yellow flowers and heard the whir of the camera advancing the film. I turned and saw Dad standing a few feet away with the camera in his hands and smiling.

By late afternoon, we were getting tired and figured we had hiked almost fifteen miles. Being late in the day, we decided to head back to camp. As we walked along the trail, I looked up at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he chirped.

I cleared my throat and asked if he would hold my hand. We walked along for a few more yards, and then he stopped abruptly. He looked at me with a blank expression on his face, and then slowly turned, staring off down the trail.

"Why ya askin'?" he replied.

I wiped my nose and jammed my hands in my back pockets. "I dunno," I said with a shrug. "Just... just because, I guess."

God, this is it, I thought. He's mad. He's going chew my ass out, our relationship will be ruined forever, and we'll go back to the campsite, pack up everything, and drive home in wretched silence for twelve agonizing hours. And I'll have to move out of the house, because there was no way I could stay there now. I was about to burst into tears, when suddenly he put his arm around me.

"Nah," he said. "How 'bout I just do this?"

I chuckled and nodded, reaching up to hold the hand he had draped over my shoulder.

It was a good thing I was wearing sunglasses, otherwise he would have seen my eyes watering.

***

When we arrived at camp, it was time for dinner. I felt like I had been on an emotional roller coaster. All day, he acted like nothing had happened the night before. "My daughter gave me a blowjob. Big deal." I was confused, more than anything else. But at least he wasn't mad. At least he wasn't pushing me away.

After dinner, we went for a short hike. As we walked along the trail, I felt him take my hand. A few minutes later, when we were far from the campsite and secluded and from the laughing and lively noises of the other campers, we stopped and he turned to me.

"I'm not mad," he said softly.

He squeezed my hand, rubbing his thumb atop it, and a small smile slowly crept across my face. "Thank you," I whispered.

***

It was about nine in the evening, when we returned to the campsite. Come morning, we planned on moving to another campground, so we packed a few things in the trunk of the car. When we stowed away as much as we could, I went and sat in front of the fire. Dad was locking the car and put the keys in his pocket, and then came and sat next to me. I was poking at the fire with a stick and held it up, a tiny orange flame flickering at the end of it. I swung it slightly in his direction and chuckled, "How 'bout a lil' fire, Scarecrow?" He laughed and scooted back quickly. Then he looked around for a stick, and when he found one, moved next to me and dipped it into the fire next to mine.

We sat there for a few minutes, letting our sticks knock together playfully, and then he pulled his out. Like mine, there was a tiny flame at the tip. He held it to his lips and puffed it out. A thin stream of gray smoke trailed up. He blew softly and dull orange ember glowed brightly. Then he turned to me, saying with a devious grin, "You're in trouble." He slowly brought the stick toward me, and I scrambled backwards and screeched.

"Dad! No! Stay away!"

He laughed and kept coming, and I shrieked again, trying to put a safe distance between us. Then he got up on his knees and came at me. I jumped to my feet and ran, with him hot on my heels.

As I dashed around the tent, he pursued me, saying innocently that he only wanted to show me something "neat".

"C'mere, Jessie," he exclaimed menacingly. "I won't hurt you... much!"

I squealed, trying to keep ahead of him. We scampered around the tent a few times, and then suddenly I ran smack into him. He had doubled back. I looked up, grinning nervously from ear to ear, my eyebrows held high.

"Uh oh," I muttered.

He slowly raised the stick and gave me a devilish grin, but then turned to the campfire, tossing it into the flames. I sighed and leaned my head against his chest, wagging it back and forth.

"You scared the crap outa me," I gasped.

He put his arm around me and chuckled, leading me back to our place in front of the fire.

"That makes two of us," he replied.

***

About half an hour later, I yawned. He glanced at me and I gave him a sleepy smile. Then I started thinking about the night before. We had to go to bed at some point. I sighed, thinking Dad might be waiting for me to go first, hoping to avoid another illicit encounter. As I stared into the fire, I mumbled that I was going to bed. Without waiting for a reply, I rose and brushed off my legs and went inside the tent. Just as I turned zip the door shut, I felt it being tugged in the opposite direction. I let go and stepped back, and Dad came inside. Without looking at me, he closed the door, and then went to his side and pulled off his t-shirt. I didn't know what to do, so I stood there nervously watching him. He sat on the mattress and pushed his shorts down, and then lifted the blanket and slipped his legs under it. A flashlight suddenly came on, and I watched as he leaned over to set the alarm clock. Then he turned to me, seemingly a little surprised I was just standing there.

"You, uh... you want the light off?" he asked.

Just as with the night before, when we were in this same situation, I could sense the anxiety in his voice.

Impossible as it may seem, I managed to nod and shake my head at the same time. Dad chuckled nervously and cleared his throat, saying, "That, uh... yes or no?" My head jittered from side to side. "Ok," he said softly. Then he turned around, laying down and facing away from me.

"D-dad?"

He slowly raised his head and looked over his shoulder. With trembling hands, I pulled my shirt over my body and let it drop to the ground. Then I reached back and unclasped my bra. As I let it fall down my arms, I lifted my eyes to him. He was staring at me. I dropped my bra atop my t-shirt, and then slowly unzipped my shorts, letting them fall, as well. Very nervously, I slipped my thumbs under the elastic band of my panties and pushed them down. Then I lifted my feet out and gingerly stepped to the mattress, kneeling down and lifting the blanket. When I was covered, I gulped and nodded.

"Ok," I whispered.

He turned off the flashlight and rolled away from me. I turned and looked at him in the darkness and scooted closer. And, just as I did the night before, I carefully brought my arm around him.

"This ok?" I whispered.

"Yeah," he replied, almost so softly I couldn't hear.

Then he took my hand and held it to his chest. After a few minutes, when I felt him breathing gently, I carefully pulled my hand from under his and let it glide down his body. I followed the trail of hair down to the top of his boxers, thinking he was asleep. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he said my name.

"Jess."

I swallowed nervously. "Yeah?" I replied.

He rolled over to face me. But before he could say anything, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. I was shaking, too afraid to open my mouth. So instead, I pushed my hand down into his boxers. With our lips pressed together awkwardly, I wrapped my trembling fingers around his erection. I felt him breath hard against my face, and I pulled back, removing my hand. Then I swept the blanket away and, as with the night before, I pulled his boxers down and he made no effort to stop me.

I sat up next to him and took his penis into my hand, gently caressing it. My blood boiled, as my arousal rose to match his, and I wanted to touch myself, as well. I sat up and swung my leg over his hips and sat down just behind his erect penis.

"Jess," he suddenly gasped. "No, don't."

My teeth chattered and voice wavered, as I replied, "It's... it's ok. I won't."

He dropped his head, running his hands over his face, but slowly his body began to relax. I was straddling his legs and scooted closer to the erection I held in my hands, so that it was making contact with the warm lips of my vagina. I moaned softly and began rubbing myself against him.

Then the light suddenly came on.

I jumped and looked up. Dad was breathing heavily and shaking his head.

"Jess... n-no. Don't do it," he stammered.

I looked down at where we came together. The lips of my vagina were wrapped around the base of his erection. I swallowed and glanced up at him.

"I w-won't," I stuttered.

Once more, he relaxed and laid his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes. Then I reached up behind my head and removed the rubber band holding my hair in a ponytail. I shook my hair out, and then went back to gently masturbating the both of us.

Dad's eyes were closed and, after a few minutes, we were both sighing softly, as I gently rocked up and down, rubbing myself against him. Then he moaned louder and squirmed under me. My breathing quickened and I asked if he was going to cum soon. He clenched his fists tightly and grimaced, nodding his head.

"Me, too," I groaned.

And then his erection swelled and pulsed in my hand. I gazed down and suddenly a long white jet of semen shot out. My jaw dropped at the sight, and my body convulsed, as an orgasm struck me. I tossed my head back and began undulating, jerking on his erection with both hands, as I frantically rubbed against him.

"Oh God," he moaned, and launched another salvo through my fingers. I cried out, as my orgasm reached its peak. In that instant, I wanted nothing more than to feel him inside me. But even in the hazy state my mind was in, I knew I couldn't. I didn't have any condoms.

When our mutual orgasms subsided, I slowly fell down onto his chest, my body involuntarily twitching now and then. I brought my hands to his shoulders and kissed along his neck.

"God, I love you so much," I whispered, trying to catch my breath.

He was still breathing heavily, but managed to wrap one arm around me. We lay together like this for some time, and then I rolled off him. He sat up, floundering in the dark for his shorts. When he found them, he stood and hastily put them on.

"Where ya goin'?" I whispered anxiously, fearing I had gone too far.

He glanced at me, saying he was going to the latrine. "I'll be right back," he muttered.

The way he said that frightened me, and I feared he was truly mad this time, so I sat up and grabbed my shorts and t-shirt.

"I'll come, too," I quickly replied.

He waited for me and when we were standing at the door, he unzipped it and stepped out.

We walked to the latrine in silence, me with my arms folded tightly and him with his hands in his pockets. When we got to the bathroom, he walked into the men's side and I into the women's. A few minutes later, I emerged to find him waiting for me. We turned and walked slowly back to our campsite.

As we trudged along the gravel road that snaked through the campground, I glanced up at him.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

Dad slowed his pace and shook his head, looking down at the ground.

"No," he replied.

My lips quivered, as I stared at the ground, too, and I asked if he still loved me.

"Yeah," he softly replied.

I cleared my throat and asked him to put his arm around me. Then I wiped my nose, adding nervously, "But... but don't do it... if you don't want to. I'll understand. You won't hurt my feelings."

We walked along in silence, and then he quietly replied, "It'll hurt your feelings."

My hearted panged and a tear rolled down my cheek, as I swiped a hand over my face, trying hard to keep my composure.

"It'll only hurt, if you're not honest about why you're doing it," I whimpered.

We continued walking and when we were in front of our campsite, he still hadn't put his arm around me. I slowly walked to the tent, wiping my eyes, but heard him call my name. I turned to him, with tears in my eyes. He was standing out on the gravel driveway and nudged his head, gesturing for me to follow him. I wiped the palms of my hands under my eyes, and then slowly made my way back to him. As we walked along in the dark, our bodies briefly illuminated by the campfires we passed, he put his arm around me. I started crying.

"T-truth?" I stuttered.

He pulled me closer. "Truth," he replied softly.

When we were near the entrance of the campground, we turned to go back, but then he stopped. When I looked to him, he was staring down and shaking his head.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

He shook his head again. "God," he sighed. "I dunno what I'm doing any more."

I sniffed and was about to speak, when he slowly stepped up to me and put his hands on my shoulders. Then he leaned down and pressed his mouth to mine. I sighed and parted my lips, timidly pushing my tongue between his. When our tongues met, I moaned and wrapped my arms around him, running my hands up and down his back. He brought a hand to the back of my head and gently tilted it. I moaned again, as I felt his other hand caressing my back. We stood kissing in the dark for a long while, and then finally broke apart. He took a tiny step back, breathing hard as if embarrassed, and ran a hand over his mouth. All I could do was stand there in front of him, staring blankly, as my arms hanging limp at my sides. A smile grew across my face. Dad had his hands on his waist, glancing up at me every few seconds, as though he were nervous. I stepped over to him and put my hands on his hips.

"God, that was... that was beautiful," I sighed.

At the touch of my hands, he seemed to calm down. He looked away and coughed and quietly apologized. I chuckled, shaking my head. "No," I whispered. "Don't. You don't have to." He looked down at me in the dark and gave me a weak grin.

"Do it again," I whispered.

He stared at me for a moment, and then slowly leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. We both sighed when our tongues met and our lips smacked loudly. Our kiss finally broke and we stood staring at each other in the dark. Then he put his arm around me, and we turned to walk back to the campsite. With his arm over my shoulders, I slipped mine around his waist. The butterflies in my stomach were flapping their wings in full force, and my fingers and toes were numb and tingling. I looked up at the night sky and closed my eyes, opening my mouth and breathing in the cool mountain air.

***

When we arrived at the tent, we went inside. Dad clicked on the flashlight and turned away from me to undress. I came up behind and turned him around.

"Let me help," I whispered.

I pulled his shirt up, but not being tall enough, he had to help me take remove it the rest of the way. We chuckled nervously, as I dropped it to the ground. As I went to unzip his shorts, he reached down and began lifting my t-shirt over my head. I held my arms up and, when it was completely off, shook my hair out. Then our hands went to the other's shorts. He unzipped mine, as I did his. Mine fell down my legs, but his hardly budged. I giggled, as I struggled to push them down.

"Too fat," he mumbled.

As I worked them down, I looked up and rolled my eyes.

"Oh, brother," I groaned. "You're anything, but fat."

And it was the truth. He had a nice body, and more than ever, I wanted to become intimately acquainted with it.

As I leaned forward to push his shorts down, his erect penis suddenly sprang out, nearly slapping me in the face. I screeched and laughed, and Dad chuckled nervously above me. Then he stepped out of his shorts and took my hand, bringing me down to the mattress with him.

We sat on our knees facing each other, his erection pointing straight out between us. I reached out and gently took him in my hand and began slowly working my fingers along his length. I smiled, whispering softly, "I've never done anything like this." The smile on his face waned, and he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back slightly.