All Comments on 'The Plumber's Daughter'

Entrancing story.... Reminded me of the things I like about true love. Thanks!

This is stuff a good book, not a short story..Congrats

Could have used an editor to catch a few grammar missteps and I was disappointed we didn't get to see him and her dad square off, but still a five star none the less

You can't let it end like this. I need more. I hope you decide to do another chapter. Great romance.

This started out pretty good. The "My Queen" and "My Blue Knight" stuff was overdone and corny. For something like that less is more. Having her constantly thinking about her ex and comparing patrick to him while being intimate with patrick made her seem to be ungrateful and still shallow when it seemed to me the story was about her learning a lesson and coming down to earth again as the daughter of a plumber. The perspective shifts worked in the early portion of the story as the characters were being brought together but once they were together it hurt the story flow. I could see the back story with patrick and his wife being more solid if they did Ren. Faires together where they could both sell her art, some of patrick and Sam's work. The Ren Faire angle would also have better supported the "my Queen"/"Blue Knight" corniness, especially if part of Marie's relationship as a little girl with her father revolved around his reading her fairy tales and stories about knights and damsels in distress. Maybe its just me but there were times when pronouns were just way over used... too much he, his, she and her where actual names would have been better.

Things that are missing that I would have liked to see would be payback to the 2 girls, the lesbian and the guy who were going to shanghai Marie into slavery. I wanted to see Patrick meet Marie's father. Having Ann's horse accept Marie would have been a nice device as well since there is background of how much Ann loved the horse and how the horse was unsettled with Patrick's absence.

This story has a pretty good foundation but seemed to get looser and too over the top the longer it went on.

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. This was part one that was laying the ground work. I am working on part two. There will be a confrontation between Patrick and the father. I’m not going to give anything else away, but there has been some pretty good guesses so far. It was deliberately a little bit corny, perhaps to some, intimate for others. I will be looking for an editor for part 2 and possibly three.

three things: marie gets to punch susan at some pointm she gets her revenge for the club, from all involved-sans angus he seemed written as a sympathetic person, and find out if the two bitches survived in one piece

Love the Characters and the flow of the Story.

it deffinately needs a follow-up.

Patrick needs to meet dad and she and Patrick need to settle things.

Thanks for a very good read. I look forward to the next installment.

I loved it. I was laughing my ass off the whole time. Can't wait to read the next installment. Thanks for a great read

DE

Discretely woukd imply something mathamatical not quiet , non-fuss , private !!

A good first chapter of a romance story.

It is true that I was surprised by the character of Angus, he seemed a good person, but turned out to be a pimp, no matter how much he wanted women to consent, his business was the sale of women. I like the characters of Marie and Patrick, both have character, and it is obvious that they have been liked, although they have influenced the circumstances.

We will see what the following chapters provide.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

The near brush with disaster at the club was horrific. I do disagree with the other comment about Angus being a pimp, People in the BDSM scene do use contracts so in that sense he’s not a pimp. He apparently checks everything the following morning with the subs to make sure that the contract is something that they want. That’s the behaviour of a responsible person. What was irresponsible was trying to cover up the fiasco by having Patrick buy out the contract. He doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on in his club. The character of Angus himself just seemed off’ he came across (to me) to be a caricature of a Scots person, clan honour etc.

The use of ‘My Queen’ and ‘Blue Knight’ was a little overdone but it was romantic. Even though Marie’s ongoing comparison between the Jerk and Patrick was fairly constant I don’t think it was overdone. Who else did she have to compare him to? Added to which it was all an internal monologue, I don’t know about anyone else but my internal monologue is constant and uncensored. The story only seems to be 4 chapters long so I’m guessing it’s unfinished, but what the hell i’ll read it anyway. It’s been lovely so far.

Tess (UK)

Enjoyed it, however the language was overdone, l hope it is filtered out.

Let’s see where this story takes us.

4/5