The President's Gay Wife Pt. 03

Chapter 7

With a shriek Magnolia shot behind Kitty when Skye, in a smelly tracksuit and platform shoes raising her beyond her normal height of six foot two inches, entered the bar at 8:58 and snarled, "Where is this gay woman?"

"Skye, calm down. For your information this is Lady Fitzroy but you are to call her Magnolia. And she's not gay; she's ex-gay and is engaged in sexual relations with only her husband. Also mess with her and you mess with me. Got it!

"Yes boss."

"Please always call me Kitty. Now kiss me on the cheek, lightly."

"Thank you, that was sweet. Now apologize to Magnolia for mistakenly calling her gay and kiss her on the cheek."

"She's gay, I should swat her."

"Skye?"

"Yes boss."

"Skye!"

"Okay Kitty. You're the boss. Ma'am, my mouth runneth over at times and please forgive me. I must say you look sexy."

"Thank you Skye," Magnolia smiled. "You must see at lot of it way up there."

"Huh."

"Oh never mind. Kiss me Skye but on the cheek."

"I have no alternative. I don't kiss ass."

They all laughed and Sky gave Magnolia a peck on the cheek.

Kitty said to Magnolia to take Skye out and buy her three new tracksuit and one business outfit for formal occasions. "You may have to buy her a suit from a men's outfitters. Also footwear of her choice that meets your approval. Also lipstick..."

"No lipstick and definitely no bra."

"Whatever she says Magnolia and please don't let her hit anyone until you are really under threat."

"Why not, it could be fun."

"Because they'll be hospitalized, that's why."

"Oh God, so you think I'll be safe with her?"

Kitty said more than Magnolia could imagine. She asked Magnolia to file the receipts under a new file called Undercover Work because the charges would be billed to CBII.

"What's the CBII?"

Kitty said, "You want won't to know Magnolia, believe me."

"If you find out I'll have to twist your neck so your head faces the other way."

"Oh God."

"Skye, shut up and stop scaring her. Oh, here's the deal you two. Skye I want you to teach Magnolia to toughen up but please try to do that without bruising her or scaring her out of her mind. Magnolia, in return I want you to teach Skye how to be more feminine but please, please, don't force her into a bra but let her try one if she wants to. Magnolia, go against her and your neck will sit on your shoulders wrong way round."

"Oh God."

Kitty was about to head off for lunch when Magnolia and Skye arrived, laughing and appearing to be bosom buddies. Kitty was thrilled unless she saw Skye's almost closed eye.

"What happened?" Kitty groaned.

"Well boss..."

"Skye, leave this to me," Magnolia said firmly. "Kitty, it wasn't our fault. We'd finished shopping and were on our way back when this big woman accosted me and called me a lesbian mongrel, took a swing and clipped my left ear. I considered myself under attack so I kicked her in the guts, winding her. Her husband, a big guy, hit Skye over the eye so she flattened him, sending him back six feet and knocking over two jeering youths in the process. The cops appeared from nowhere..."

Kitty cried, "The Police, oh God!" and was told by Magnolia not to make a fuss.

Magnolia was asked to continue.

"Witnesses told the cops the abusive woman hit me first and I simply defended myself by lifting up my foot and the woman ran into it."

"And the cops accepted that explanation?"

"Yes. The two youths who were knocked over claimed Skye simply hit their dad and knocked him out cold. Skye showed the policewoman her eye swelling eye and the cop said the guy must have hit her first but the sergeant said both men would be taken in for street brawling. Skye said that's not fair because she was hit first and besides, she was a woman. The sergeant said he very much doubted that so Skye opened her shirt and said, 'What are these?' And the constable said told her sergeant she did have small ears and small feet for her size and was wearing high heels. Everyone laughed and the sergeant said to me, who are you -- Johnny Depp? I told him not to be so rude, that I was the wife of the President and we were told to push off before we were arrested for disturbing the peace and me on an extra charge of attempting to impersonate the President's wife. We left the scene as a ambulance arrived."

"Why was an ambulance called?"

"Because when the big guy came around he asked, 'Who hit me?' and his younger son said 'A woman dad' and he fell back on to the pavement and split open the back of his head."

"Oh God, you two are grounded."

"Er Kitty, aren't you forgetting something. I'm the boss."

"Oh sorry Magnolia, you better rest."

"No, I'm fine. You are the one that looks traumatized."

"I'll recover when I get away from you two. Where is the shopping?"

"We left everything at the last store and Skye called someone as what she called the Bureau and asked them to make a special delivery."

Kitty walked off with a hand over her forehead muttering, "But we have unauthorized and therefore illegal security cover, we have unauthorized and therefore illegal security pick up and delivery of goods. I'll be sentenced to prison."

"Don't worry, I'll fix it Kitty."

"You of all people Magnolia?" muttered Kitty to herself. "That's as unlikely as regular snowfalls on Sunny Island."

Kitty had managed to stabilize herself by the time she arrived at the restaurant despite claiming she was useless as an administrator and wouldn't even to be capable of keeping a dog on a leash under control. Having to nurse along Magnolia and her hulk buddy who was a walking disaster would be a nightmare. She groaned, "What have I done to deserve this?"

The restaurant manager, recognizing her, rushed away and returned with a whisky. "Down the hatch Kitty and smile."

She smiled, swallowed the shot in one gulp, coughed, choked and straightened up smiling. "Thanks Ivan, you're a regular Florence Nightingale."

Ivan thought he should accept that as a compliment.

Shortly after the two women met for lunch -- Kitty appearing to be a bit liquored up -- Megan was being hailed as one of Kitty's best friends.

"But we have never liked one another?"

"A mere technicality dear Meg -- may I call you Meg? You just stop playing one media contact against another, one network against another to suit your own convenience or game plan and instead treat them all, as equal and you'll have no criticism from me. I'll tell you this Meg, when the chips are down you'll want everyone onside. No one can hit back like a media man or women who feels shafted at not receiving a fair deal at accessing news."

"What you are saying makes sense Kitty. I guess I lack your experience to have that overview."

"Play fair, be seen to be playing fair and some of them may even start to like you and that surely must be good. Is there anyone in the regular pack that catches your eye."

"Peter Wing."

"Nice choice and he's recently divorced. I'll have a confidential word and it could well be your lucky day, I mean night or perhaps even one thousand and one nights."

They kissed as they parted and that was a first for them. "Oh Meg, I'll have a chat to the chief of staff about your accommodation. There is no need for accounts to be where they are."

"But that's prime office space."

"It's where the media expect to find you and your crew Meg. It's on a par where you were previously."

"Ah, so it is. Does that mean I've learnt my lesson?"

"You are so sharp Meg. Keep on track and you'll go far."

Kitty departed smiling, hearing Meg call, "You are so inspirational Kitty."

Muttering, Kitty said, "No Meg, I'm a scheming, devious bitch and will probably be arrested within the hour for breaking some section of secret legislation. The only way I can expect mercy is to appeal to that rotten PM and I know what he'll want from me in return, the rotten monster."

She returned to the bar and the bartender came over and said the other two had gone to late lunch. The woman asked could she fetch Kitty a coffee. She was thanked and asked to make it strong and black.

Kitty opened a note stuck under the corner of her keyboard.

I called Gerry and said you were concerned for my safety in public and he said he'd get someone assigned to me 24/7 and he or she could live with us as family. I asked him to copy the instruction to me and could I kindly have the instruction timed to commence from 9 am this morning to ensure the person got a full day's pay in being assigned to me. It arrived and is filed in the new Undercover Work file.The Boss.

Kitty folded over her keyboard and wept in relief. She was so lucky working with The Boss and Skye.

Her phone went and she wiped her eyes and took the call, thanking Gloria who'd arrived with coffee.

"Hi Jim."

"Oh hi. We have been told of an interesting disturbance in O'Connell Street a couple of hours ago. One witness said a big woman who doesn't wear a bra knocked out cold a guy bigger than her and he was carted off to hospital. A woman claiming to be the President's wife kicked the guy's wife in the guts for calling her a lesbian. Lady Fitzroy hasn't been given a bodyguard has she?"

"Oh God Jim, you've exposed an oversight. I must arrange that now. Magnolia has been with me all morning and at present is somewhere in the building having late lunch as she worked right through with me on our strategic plan."

"Damn, I was working on a hunch. Too bad. Oh, Chase is out of here sometime tomorrow. When can we do it?"

"I'd say after some serious courtship. I am available on Saturday for lunch and then perhaps for a walk through the botanical gardens. Bye Jim. Oh, a concert Sunday would be lovely."

The President's chief of staff, now working daily with the President at Parliament during the period of Civic Emergency, took a call and passed the caller on. Gerry said cheerfully, "Hello Mr Gee, calling to harass me and my wife?"

"Sorry for the interruption to your busy day Mr President, but I was wanting to talk to Lady Fitzroy."

"Well she'd not here. But she called less than an hour ago about something and said she was off to lunch. She's been working on a strategic plan."

"Do you know where she's eating?"

"No and we have eight cafes and restaurants in this building plus the MP's and VIP Restaurant which is closed at present. Now may I get on with running the country?"

"Yes Mr President."

"How very civil of you Jim."

At about that time two men in hats, dark sunglasses, black shirts without ties and wearing light gray suits, looking like either gangsters or secret service agents, walked up to Kitty and one guy said out of the corner of his mouth, "Miss Kitty Loveridge?"

"It is I?'

"Shouldn't you say it is me?"

"I had a classical education."

"What's that?"

"If you don't know you don't need to know."

"One smart lady eh? Show me ID before I hand over this stuff."

Kitty handed over her Parliament security ID and the guy looked at it and looked at her.

"You sure are pretty. Do you date?"

"I'd like to but my boyfriend forbids me He's a Police gun instructor."

"Please sign here ma'am and we're out of here."

After the guys left Kitty opened the suit bag and sighed. She was looking at Skye's new light gray suit and hanging underneath the jacket was a black shirt, no tie. It was clear to her that people who joked about special agents and gangsters standing out because they tried to camouflage their presence were really not joking and agents and gangsters couldn't see the joke. She thought it was funny but not really funny. She groaned, well, at least she knew what she meant.

Chapter 8

Magnolia drove home happy although a little tired, pleased about her first day at the office although she'd have to forget about the shopping incident if she were to regard it as a great day. God, wasn't Skye just awesome and she gasped in dismay as a delicious sensation swept through her. Oh no, please, she didn't want her body thinking about Skye in that manner now denied her. Gerry and counselors including a dopey looking psychologist had forbidden her to even harbor thoughts about other women.

In near panic Magnolia reached over and patted Skye on the thigh and said cheerfully as she could, "And what about you darling, did you have a great day on your first day on the job?"

Skye looked at her tracksuit-covered thigh from which the hand had now retreated as if it had just been seared by a hot iron. A small sound came from the back of her throat and she edged away under the restraint of her seatbelt to lean against her door, increasing the gap between her and the driver substantially.

"Oh Skye, I'm sorry for inadvertently touching you. It was simply a gesture of friendship. I'm cured you know."

The reply from Skye was slow coming and not particularly encouraging. "No I didn't know ma'am."

Ma'am? Oh dear, she's terrified thought Magnolia who then brightened as she thought well at least she was capable of scaring her scary bodyguard although not in an approved manner. She actually managed a wee smile.

Magnolia opened the gates electronically and as they drove through them Skye asked Magnolia to close them when Skye was ready.

Ready for what?

Skye went from the car and held up her watch. "Now."

Magnolia pushed the three-button code and when the heavy metal gates clanged shut she watched Skye shake them and examine the three-bolt mechanism.

"Something wrong?"

Skye grunted, "Security check."

A warm, fuzzy feeling ran through Magnolia. She felt incredibly safe, knowing it was illusory but nevertheless she enjoyed that feeling. "Skye, I love having you at my side."

Skye barked, "Love?"

"Er, I feel incredibly safe with you at my side."

Skye smiled proudly and said rather softly for her, "Good."

The male servant opened the front door before Skye had time to press the bell.

She scowled at the guy and snapped, "Were you spying on us?"

Slightly built Freddie looked up at Skye and said 'No," at the same time taking two nervous steps backwards.

"I don't believe you. I'll be watching you," Skye growled.

"Oh dear, oh dear," soothed Mrs Sharples, bustling forward. "What is all this commotion?" Jane followed her, aggressively holding a heavy fry pan.

Mrs Sharples took one look at Skye and said, "Oh my, what a bonny young woman."

Skye thrust out her chin as she stepped towards the elderly housekeeper and snarled, "Are you lesbian?"

Mrs Sharples turned even whiter than normal and stuffed her handkerchief at her mouth.

Magnolia, feeling helpless, yelled the first word that came to her.

"Heel!"

Incredibly Skye stepped back to stop alongside her, still eyeing the shaking Mrs Sharples.

There was a moment of absolute silence until, "Guys, this is my temporary bodyguard Skye, a lovely lady really but just a mite defensive."

"Defensive? More like unbelievably aggressive to me," snapped Jane.

Skye eyed Jane who dropped the fry pan and flattened against the wall on the far side of Mrs Sharples.

Accepting that only she could save the day, Magnolia said, "Now this little charade is over, Mrs Sharples, allow me to introduce you to Skye. Skye Mrs Sharples is the boss around here as her title is housekeeper. Behind her, color returning to her face, is the permanent maid Jane and this bright young man is Freddie. Please welcome Skye to the house guys, she'll be living with us."

"Living with us?" Mrs Sharples croaked.

"Yes, living with us for a month."

"Welcome Skye," Mrs Sharples whispered.

"Welcome Skye," Jane said, peeping out beyond Mrs Sharples' bulk.

"Hi Skye, would you like to join me in the gym at evenings?"

"Why?"

"To work out, er, on fitness."

"Thank you Freddie. I'd like that."

Removing her jacket and holding it out for Jane, the much-relieved Magnolia said, "Freddie, quickly, scotch for Skye and me in the drawing room and you three better have a drink in the kitchen."

As soon as she downed her whisky in a gulp, Skye asked, "Who's the boss of the servants?"

"I am."

"Please hand me their CVs."

Magnolia said slightly nervously, "Servants don't have CVs Skye."

"What they just walk in and say I'd like to work here?"

"No, the hire agency interviews them and sends us a selection to interview for final selection. Of course they come with references."

Skye scratched her nose. Well?"

"Well what?"

"Hand me the references."

"Oh Skye, are you sure this is necessary. The previous Prime Minister's wife of the previous Prime Minister hired Mrs Sharples and Freddie went through assessment by some Government security outfit as previously he was on the staff at the British Embassy and..."

"Why did he leave?"

Magnolia said inventively, "Some of the male staff were gay."

"He's okay then and probably was checked out by our Bureau."

"What Bureau is that?"

"You are not allowed to know Magnolia."

Fluttering her eyelashes, Magnolia said disarmingly, "Oh really? That sounds a little unfair."

"I prefer not to comment on that dangerous remark Magnolia."

Magnolia looked at Skye a little angrily. "Dangerous am I?"

Skye burst out laughing and Magnolia sniffed to herself, well at least she can laugh fulsomely when she's not playing cops and robbers.

"Okay, I'll consider those two screened adequately. What about the wimp Jane?"

"Wimp, I don't think so. She has had the courage to jump into Freddie's bed much to the disgust of Mrs Sharples."

"That's lust, not courage. Get your facts right."

"Really Skye, I don't think..."

"You're on probation so shut up."

"Skye, please don't..."

"I said shut up. On matters of morality you have no voice with me. You are confused about your sexuality and are in the processed of being flushed out and rejuvenated."

"But Skye, I'm still the same person I ever way, capable of making sound decisions and..."

"I'd shut my mouth if I were you Magnolia. If the Bureau learns you are still thinking of continuing seducing women in all probability you'll just..."

"No, don't say it Skye. That's terrifying as well as being criminally indefensibly and..."

"Cut the crap Magnolia. The Bureau is above the law. If you keep your mouth shut about it and do nothing about it, how can I report back that you still lust for other women?"

Magnolia burst into tears and ran to Skye for comfort.

Yelling, "Get away from me you lesbo," Skye saw Magnolia's eyes roll up into a near faint so she relented, sat Magnolia on her knee and thumped Magnolia's back sympathetically, cooing to her.

The door opened and Gerry stood, mouth open in shock and shaking his head. "So she now has an in-house lover?" He turned to leave.

"Gerry," Skye barked.

He swung around, eyes blazing. "I beg your pardon. I'm Lord Fitzroy to you."

"Only if I agree to that formality but I don't agree."

Gerry staggered back against the door jam and said, "Oh God, it's true. The Chief of Police warned me that the Bureau has become a law unto itself."

"On your knees and plead to me to address you with dignity and I'll think about it."

"No, your bitch. I'll arrange your assassination."

"Wow, I'm really impressed sir. You have balls."

Gerry coughed deeply to project confirmation and said, "You really impress me ma'am. Most commoners bow and scrape to me."

"It's miss, not ma'am and call me Skye."

"Skye. Oh what a sweet name. You certainly look all woman."

"I don't wear a bra because the size of them for a big girl like me alarms me."

Magnolia stirred. "Where am I?" she asked a little groggily.

"You fainted."

"Oh yes, when you suggested the Bureau as you call it would remove me from circulation if I continued my lust for women."

"Well, I'd have to report any indiscretions."

"There won't be any Skye, I promise."