The Proposal

This is a proposal, just like the kind that leads to a wedding. Yet, you and I will never be married, unless life changes its course in some unfathomable way, or until we're old and gray, which is the same thing, in a way. We are made for each other, but not in that way.

Like all real proposals, this one should start with a declaration of feeling, so here goes: I love you. Deeply and truly, and in so many ways it's a love just like how you hear it's supposed to be. You and I aren't conventional, though, and it's not that we're above the rules, and it's not that we're too smart and different that the rules don't apply to us. They apply themselves with relish and they exact their harsh discipline on people like us even more than they do on the average person.

No, we're not above the rules. It's just that for us, following those rules is a sure road to unhappiness. Exceptional people require exceptional solutions. Looking for solutions where the ordinary person finds them is sure to leave us wanting. We've both looked there before and what we've found has been unsatisfying to say the least.

I will never leave my wife and daughter. You have a daughter of your own, and I wouldn't respect you if you didn't put her first. We are smart enough and capable enough to protect those people and still find some happiness for ourselves.

You're mine. You have been for a long time. You belong to me. You know it and I know it. It started long before the first time I ground my hairy ass down into your face, you eagerly thrusting your tongue as deeply into my asshole as you could, while I jammed three fingers into your cunt and stroked myself until hot white ropes of my cum shot across your belly. No, it started even before the first time I enjoyed you as your Master, with you blindfolded, trembling and shaking and willing to do anything I demanded, terrified I would leave. Even before the first time I pumped your mouth full of my semen, both hands full of your hair, as I masturbated myself with your face. Even before the first time we ever fucked, vanilla as it was. It started even before the time you crawled into bed with me -- I was staying on your sofa bed and you were mad at your husband -- and we both lay there pretending it was all a joke when the truth was that we were aching to be all over each other. No, we fell in love in Mexico, when you were in love with another man and I was in a bad marriage. We felt the connection even then, and I think that's when we both knew on some level that we had found the ideal sexual partner.

There was a time during our relationship when I wanted to let you tell me you loved me. Understand that I know you do whether you ever tell me in that way or not. I know you, and you can't get away from that. I know what you want to say to me, about how I give myself too much credit, but I know the truth and regardless of what happens, I hope you can trust me enough and be vulnerable enough with me to admit what we both know. Do you remember when we went to dinner at that steakhouse and you wore a summer dress (I've always thought they were so sexy) and I sent you back South with my buttplug filling your asshole and I made you show yourself to a trucker and play with yourself on the way home? It was that week when it was so clear to me that you loved me and I thought hard about helping you say it. I've never told you this, but that's why I let you go. I thought it was time you said it and I thought the revelation would hurt you too much. What's changed? We're both older, tougher, and wiser. And we have less time. And we'd better grab some happiness while we can.

You submitted to me so beautifully once. You punished yourself on my command and were more disappointed at failing me than any punishment I could ask you to do. You cried once because you wanted my dick so badly. You've licked my sperm from my fingers seconds after I pulled out of your ass and shot into my hand. You've dressed yourself with me in mind every time you've gone out in an evening and you knew I would be there. Yes, call me an arrogant asshole. Just know that I know.

You can be vulnerable with me. I trust you completely -- I've trusted you with the most important and dangerous secrets I have.

What do I want from you? I want you to declare yourself mine forever. You did that once -- I wonder if you remember? It may have seemed like a joke to you at the time, but I told you that you would always belong to me sexually, and you told me you knew that. I wouldn't hold it against you if you fell and love and married -- I did it myself -- but your cunt, your asshole, and your mouth will always be mine.

What are you to me? You're my slut, my fucktoy, my whore. I want to give you another title that used to have honor, but now convention looks down upon. I want you to be my mistress. You are anyway, whether we ever fuck again or not. The secret between us makes you that, and you feel it as well as I.

What do I need from you? I need to be myself sexually, and I can only be that with you. I want to spank you until you sob and beg. Not from pain, but from the release you need and that would give me so much pleasure. I want to take you quickly, rudely and use you to get off. I also want to fuck you face to face, sweetly, my cock in your ass, looking into your eyes and telling you what you mean to me. I want to fill your mouth with my cum in a parking lot and see that look of pride on your face again. I want to think up something outrageous and have you do it without blinking, like you always do.

I know all the objections and all the reasons and all the guilt as well as you do. I know we have to put that aside if we're to be happy. Any happiness in our lives has to include each other, it's just how we're made. This can work for the rest of our lives, off and on.

You once signed your emails to me with some of the greatest words I've ever read, do you remember? I'd love to read or hear them again. You said:

"I am your whore. Please use my mouth, my cunt, and my asshole for your pleasure. Please punish me if I displease you."

Beautiful, just like you.

I love you, and I'll love you forever. I know you're mine in your heart. I know your body is mine. It's time to act on it again.