The Ruth Scroll

"Today, you will not put on your working clothes but the clothes I give you to wear. There will be much dancing and winebibbing at the Festival tonight but you will stay on the sidelines. You will neither dance nor drink nor talk to any man. When the party winds down, watch carefully where Boaz goes to spend the night. Take care that no one sees you enter his sukkah (temporary shack) to lie down beside him. The rest will come naturally to you, if your mother has truly revealed the secret of Moabite women to you and the waters of lust do flow in your loins.

I have prepared a bath for you and I will set out the clothes I have chosen to display your ample assets and so win the heart of Boaz. When you have bathed, I shall set your hair in the most becoming style. Then we will open the vial of perfume that we purchased in Ein Gedi to anoint your breasts and the nape of your neck. Let us get to work because you have a long night ahead of you."

Naomi slept not the whole night of the Festival, awaiting Ruth's return. Naomi pondered in her heart whether her instructions to the naïve Ruth had been sufficiently explicit. When Ruth had not arrived by noon, Naomi began to be alarmed. She kept reassuring herself that Ruth was bright enough to not dally and be seduced by one of the common workers. If Ruth could not suppress her lusts sufficiently and keep her favours only for Boaz, then Naomi's plan would fail. Finally in the late afternoon, Ruth returned with the pleasures of the night written clearly in the smile upon her face.

Naomi greeted her: "How did it go, my daughter? It is writ large upon your visage that you have had success in your endeavours. Come sit by my side and assure me that you fulfilled my instructions to the detail. Tell me everything, my dear one. I must know that the man you have been with is my kinsman Boaz and not one of his hirelings."

"As you predicted, mother Naomi, there was a great celebration at the threshing floor of Boaz to thank the LORD for a successful harvest. It was not difficult to remain at the periphery of the celebration as I was a mere gleaner and not one of the workers. The Amalekite women danced around the fire whilst the Amalekite men roasted one of their sheep over the fire in honour of their host. Boaz dispensed wine in ram's horns to the hirelings, save the Amalekites, whose desert code forbade them from imbibing strong drink. Neither meat nor drink was offered me, so that my head remained clear and my body prepared for the duties set before me that evening. Not so Boaz, who lingered overly long at the wine skins, in my opinion. The man's capacity for drink knows no bounds. He continued to make merry at the feast as, one by one, the Amalekite men left each to his own tent.

Late in the evening when the fire had declined to a few glowing embers, Boaz announced that the wine was depleted and staggered away to his sukkah. The Amalekite women each chose a field worker for herself, leading her prey to his sukkah. As quickly as I could, I circled behind the threshing floor to the sukkah of Boaz. Quietly, I drew aside the curtain and entered. My eyes slowly adjusted to the little light that the palm fronds on the roof allowed to enter. Locating Boaz in the dim light was easy due to his loud snoring and the odour of cheap wine that he expelled with each breath. As I surveyed my quarry, I heard footsteps approach and presently one of the Amalekite women attempted to gain entry to the sukkah. Adopting my best Amalekite accent, I hissed through the curtain:

'Be gone sister. This one is mine, all mine this night. Search among his workers for your prey.'

My rival departed to another sukkah. I did then lay down on the blanket that his servant Og had prepared beside Boaz' prone body. Cuddling beside him and throwing my arm on his chest did nothing to wake the man. Yea, Boaz was truly shit-faced. The silence of the evening dissipated as sighs and groans began to emanate from the adjoining sukkoth. I could make out subtle Amalekite-accented whispers of love spoken from lip to adjacent ear as the Amalekite women plied their trade upon the simple hirelings. Even though I knew that the words of the Amalekite women were insincere, their whispers encouraged feelings within me suppressed since my Mahlon was wrested from me in such an untimely manner.

I decided to gauge the depths of Boaz' unconsciousness and ran my hand along his hairy shin. Sensing no reaction, I became bolder and put my hand under his robe and caressed his thighs. Boaz continued to snore quite peacefully, each breath bringing an eruption of wine-smelling gases. Emboldened further, I pulled up the hem of his garment with one hand in order to reach further up the man's thigh.

My hand encountered a vast forest of hair that curled up, surrounding what appeared to my hand to be a limp rope of sufficient thickness to secure the large ships moored off Ashkelon. I placed my hand on the rope and, to my surprise, the rope thickened and lengthened until it seemed as if I held a wooden staff in my hand. I pulled the hem of the man's garment over the tip of the object in my hand and beheld his erect member, glistening even in the faint light. The sight caused my loins to further moisten as I recalled the many pleasures I received nightly from the same organ of Mahlon.

I desired, yea my loins ached for, such pleasures again. Yet, I feared whether such a large object as the member of Boaz could ever enter within my loins. Consequently, I took measures to ease the fit. I endeavored to add moisture to the job by taking his member unto my mouth. As best I could, I caressed Boaz' sex with my tongue and still he awoke not from his slumber. Curious as to how deeply the man could sleep, I embarked upon another test. I straddled his loins, pulled up the hem of my robe and placed his member upon my own nakedness.

I spread my nakedness as wide as I could and did place the tip of his member, as round and bulbous as a pomegranate, upon my vulnerable place. I pushed and gasped as the man's member spread my hips apart. At the moment I believed I could endure the pain no longer, the man entered me with a squishy noise. Immediately, I felt the same wave of pleasure emanating from my loins that once your son Mahlon nightly provided me. It flowed overwhelmingly through my body and would not cease as I allowed more and more of Boaz to enter me.

I pushed him in further still which triggered such deep waves of pleasure that my head was thrown back, letting my hair touch his toes. Even such tickling was insufficient to wake Boaz. As the wave of pleasure subsided, I began to move up and down upon his member to see if I could create one more wave of pleasure. I felt a small wave begin again so I began to thrash around with Boaz inside me until the pleasurable wave crashed in force upon me and I collapsed upon Boaz' chest.

Boaz did not awake nor did he plant his seed within me. I was totally exhausted, hot and covered with perspiration from my efforts. I pulled off my robe and lay as close to Boaz as I could. I slept as I have not slept since my last night beside my Mahlon. Even Boaz' snoring could not dispel the peace that my body felt.

I awoke in the morning because my lord Boaz began to stir. He raised himself on his elbow and called out to his manservant. 'Og! Can you come here and quickly help me, please? My mouth tastes like it's filled with donkey shit and the entire Jesubite army marcheth through my skull.' Then he rolled on his back, letting his arm flop on my breast. He sat up with a start at the sight of a naked woman lying beside him. 'How did you get in here and, uh, exactly what happened last night?'

I answered 'I am your servant Ruth and I attempted to repay your many kindnesses to me and to Naomi with the pleasures that only a Moabite woman can provide. Unfortunately, my lord Boaz felt no pleasure last night due to the copious amount of wine he imbibed. I pleasured myself many times upon your stiff member but you did not respond by giving me your seed. Spread now the corner of your garment over me as I grow cold. Come into me to receive the love I bring. Spill your seed within my body as I wish to bear your child. You are my kinsman-redeemer.'

Boaz' hand shook I know not whether from his condition or from excitement. He covered my nakedness with his robe and slowly began to respond to my advances when the curtain covering the door of the sukkah parted. It was Boaz' manservant Og, bearing a plate of fruit, a flagon of water and some freshly-cut willow branches. Og winked at me and then offered the willow branches and water to his master. 'Chew upon these, my lord, to relieve the pain that throbeth within your head. I have learned of this therapy from the priests of Amun-Ra and it has never failed to relieve a hangover.'

Dr. Altman scribbled a note to Dr. Lajeunesse: 'The works of Hippocrates mention chewing the willow as having efficacy in reducing the pain of childbirth. I will discuss with Kravitz in Pharmacology how much acetylsalicylic acid a branch of willow contains and whether this would be enough to relieve a red wine hangover. This may require inserting a footnote to the effect that that this scroll proves Hippocrates obtained the willow cure from the Egyptian priests.'

'I have brought my lady some sustenance as she must feel hunger after her strenuous work last evening. I noted that she ate nothing at the festival. Would she also like a blanket to shield her naked body from the cool of the morning?'

The willow seemed to relieve the ills of Boaz. He asked Og, 'What is your news of the day? Do the Amalekites remain encamped on my property? Have the workers returned to their homes? I implore you that Ruth must leave my sukkah without being seen.'

'The Amelikites have decamped during the night, as is their custom. They have taken no more than their fair share of the grain, as you agreed with their chief. However, the local men remain each in his own sukkah ashamed to leave. It appears that the Amalekite women have stolen away in the night along with the Amalakite men and have taken the workers' garments with them as booty.'

'Go quickly to ben Chayat at the general store. Obtain sufficient clothes for the men so their wives do not discern their dalliance with the Amalekite women. Of course, I will dock their pay for whatever ben Chayat supplies you. You will tell the men that they're lucky the Amalekite women didn't make off with the rest of their wages as well.'

As the curtain of the sukkah closed behind Og, Boaz smiled in a manner I had not seen him smile before. 'Well, too bad about the men hanging around all day. It looks as if you'll have to stay with me in my sukkah until the evening. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character. We can't spoil that impression, can we, by having you leave in the full sight of my workers.'

Then he summarily disrobed and pulled the blanket from me. His eyes lingered admiringly over my whole body. He embraced me and we rolled over the blanket, laughing like children as we did so. Boaz savoured the Ein Gedi perfume with which you anointed me. He pleasured my breasts and my whole body with his hands. His kisses were sweet. Yea, he did smother my face and my whole body with his kisses. He did kiss me on so many parts of my body that I am truly ashamed to tell even you, mother Naomi, where they were planted.

I had no warning whereupon Boaz parted my legs and did enter me with extreme haste. Fortunately, his kisses had released within me the waters of lust or I would have cried out in pain, revealing the secret of my presence to all outside. He thrust himself into me as far as possible and released his seed that he denied me the previous evening. Then he removed his still hard member and lay on his back. His member waved in the air as it glistened in the morning light.

Our coupling terminated so quickly that I was truly disappointed. Boaz had come unto me and left as quickly again as a young man. I had had no opportunity to employ my Moabite secret technique on Boaz, as you instructed me. Where was the patience during coupling that I was told to expect of an older man? I speak of the differences between older and younger men not of my own experience, of course, but the words that came from the lips of my mother and your daughter-in-law Orpah.

My disappointment evaporated as Boaz again resumed spreading his kisses over my body, again and again upon the most private parts of my body. He did enter me many times thereafter in several different manners, bringing me untold pleasures and manifold opportunities to pleasure Boaz with the secrets of Moab. Even my secret weapon could not quench the enthusiasm of Boaz. Yea, it appeared to merely ignite his passions to a higher degree. The man is as ingenious in coupling with a woman as he is truly relentless. Furthermore, he can withhold his seed longer than I can endure his member within me. Several times I cried out in pain to him to cease his thrusting and plant his seed within me forthwith. He entered and thrust his member inside me so many times that I laid aside the hidden secret of the women of Moab. Towards the evening, I merely succumbed passively to the man. I received his seed every time we coupled that day, unlike the previous evening. As the sun set upon the fields, Boaz was finally spent of seed.

We dressed and he took me unto his storehouse of grain, saying 'I must not let a woman leave my presence empty-handed after giving me such pleasure. Furthermore, I feel compelled to redeem the land of Naomi so that I may forever receive the pleasures you give. According to the laws of our people, you will be thrown in to the deal for free upon purchase of Naomi's lands. I will take you as my wife and you will do that thing to me again as soon as possible.'

Thereupon, he poured six measures of grain into my shawl. Behold the six measures of grain that has cost me dearly. On the way from the fields of Boaz, each step has caused me great pain. I am exhausted and my innards ache from the size of the man and the force with which he entered me so many times today. I am so sore from Boaz that I can only walk with great difficulty. My thighs are as raw and red as my hair. My nakedness doth burn like the fires of Sheol each and every time I relieve myself."

Naomi kept her silence up to this point but she could stifle her words no longer. "The words you have spoken to me concerning the performance of Boaz are true. I have heard the same tales about him from the women of Bethlehem who taunted me that I would never experience pleasures with Boaz such as they knew. Now I am vindicated because you are a woman of Moab and Boaz shall cleave to you for the rest of his days. Depart from me to your room so I may ponder the events you have related. Trust me on this one. The man will not rest until these matters are settled."

After Ruth departed from her presence, Naomi barred the door of her room. Furtively, she opened a hidden niche in the wall, removing a sacred Canaanite phallus from its hiding place. Hebrew women were forbidden by the Law from owning such objects. Naomi prayed that the LORD would forgive this one little sin because the phallus provided Naomi the only sexual pleasure she knew until her marriage to Elimelech. Elimelech was gone and now the phallus represented her only avenue of release from the burning desires that Ruth's retelling of her encounter with Boaz had rekindled.

Naomi placed a cushion from her bed upon the rug and the phallus on top of the cushion. With one knee on either side of the cushion, she lifted the hem of her robe and placed her hand upon her damp mound of grey hair to part her nakedness. She lowered herself to permit the phallus to penetrate her loins. Within her nakedness she found her tiny nub of desire. Naomi tickled and rubbed her sex as her mind dwelt on Ruth's recounting of her night of pleasure. Naomi imagined that the cushion was the unconscious Boaz and the Canaanite cult object was his shlong. With her free hand, Naomi caressed her own breast in the manner of Boaz, as Ruth had described. Waves of pleasure cascaded over her such as she had not known since she last lay with Elimelech. In this manner, Naomi spent the evening consumed in imaginary reverie pleasuring herself.

On the morrow, Boaz went up to the town gate and sat there. He waited until his second cousin Zevel ben Calvah came through the gates. Boaz said, "Come over here, my cousin, and sit down." So Zevel went over and sat down. Boaz took ten elders of the town and said, "Please come and sit with me and hear what I have to say" And so they did.

Then Boaz said to Zevel, "Naomi, who has returned from Moab, is selling the piece of land that she inherited and which was managed by her husband Elimelech, of blessed memory. I thought we should have a little chat about it, in case you wished to strike a deal with Naomi. Since there are many witnesses here, including the elders of Bethlehem, you can make the purchase right now. Not that I'm putting any pressure on you but I wanted you to have the first crack at Naomi's land, since you're her closest relative. If you don't buy it, I'm next in line to buy the land. Tell me yea or nay so I can buy it while the elders are present to notarize the transaction."

"I know Naomi's land. When I was a child, it yielded the choicest olives and figs in all Ephratah. Right now, the olive trees need to be pruned, the figs dressed and the house is definitely a fixer-upper. With a bit of work, I'm certain that I can reap great profit from Naomi's property. I'll buy it," Zevel said.

Boaz smiled at how perfectly he had manipulated the situation. Now he was ready to blindside Zevel ben Calvah with some unpleasant facts. "There's one minor little lien on the land with which you really needn't concern yourself. Mahlon, Elimelech and Naomi's eldest son, is the rightful heir to the property. Unfortunately, Mahlon was killed in the Chemosh riots last year in Moab. His widow is Ruth and she became the rightful owner of the property upon the death of Naomi's first-born. On the day you acquire the land, according to the law given by the LORD to the Prophet Moses, you acquire the dead man's widow, Ruth of Moab, in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property."

Zevel ben Calvah's face drained of its colour and his knees weakened. He gulped and barely managed to say, "Um, can I back out of this deal? I haven't told you this but I'm betrothed to Malkah, daughter of the richest man in Bethlehem. If I marry Ruth, I'll never get my hands on Malkah's property. Plus, my father will disown me for marrying a woman from Moab. Even after two hundred years, he hasn't forgotten that little bit of unpleasantness between our forefathers and Balaam, king of Moab. You appreciate, Boaz, that the numbers just aren't there if I redeem Naomi's property. As the next closest relative, can you redeem the property instead?"

Boaz inwardly smiled because ben Calvah's reaction was according to plan. Zevel ben Calvah removed his sandal and handed it over to Boaz to seal the deal. Now in earlier times in Israel, for the redemption and transfer of property to become final, one party took off his sandal and gave it to the other. This was the how a sale was notarized before there were lawyers in the land of Israel. So Zevel ben Calvah said to Boaz, "Buy it yourself." Then Boaz announced to the elders and all the people, "Today you are witnesses that I have purchased from Naomi all the property of Elimelech, Chilion and Mahlon. I have also acquired Ruth the Moabitess, as my wife, in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property, so that his name will not disappear from among his family or from the records at the town hall. Today you are witnesses!"