All Comments on 'The School Marm's Distress'

I enjoyed this story a lot.

The twist at the end didn't really work for me because I had lost track of the narrative at some point. Although the story begins with her on the bed then goes through their history and fully sets the scene, by the time it gets back to present tense the "flashback remembrance" quality was lost. I think if you had made a mention at the point the history catches up with the present, just to jog the readers memory, it would have worked better.

There were a few other things that kind of threw me off the fine tempo you set. Her language usage when they are engaged together popped me out of the story because the word choices would not have been appropriate for the character she played, "ride me" and such would not have been uttered by a school marm. The ending puts it in right, but because I had been jarred from the tempo already, the twist at the end wasn't as impactful as I think it could have been.

Frankly, up until she began to utter her out of character word choices, I thought this was an excellent, very erotic story and was simultaneously lamenting that it would be over soon. I am a fan of westerns and would love to read more about this school marm and her gunslinger bad boy!

You really had me going there - and the twist in the end was worthy of a Hitchcock! Thank you for this hot, sexy and very entertaining submission - five stars.

The twist at the ending....still laughing now. Fantastic!

This was GREAT!!! Exciting... hot and a delightful surprise ending! Off to read your other stories.