All Comments on 'The Shoebox Ch. 01'

You sure left the story at a good/bad place (depending on your perspective).

You sure have me curious as to what she saw.

Regards, DJ

You have to finish this story. It is written well and is very compelling. With your writing skills you can make it as long as you like, we will not get bored. Please make the installments longer. Excellent writing!!!!!

my vote goes for his friends wife or the counsellors husband being the cause of the shock but like everyone else I wait to be entertained by the next part of a good story

I am so glad to see you writing once more. Your first story has always remained in the back of my mind and I was disappointed that you didn't write another, especially since the first was highly appreciated.

I know that counselors are trained not to be shocked at any sexual behavior nowdays. But you are products of your environment and, being human, you react as most people do, especially once the client is out of the office.

I'm eagerly looking forward to hearing about what caused your jaw to drop:>)

Like the start and, yes, I will await chapter two with bated breath.

I’m delighted that you intend to write this and other accounts from your case histories. I firmly believe in the old adage. “There’s none as queer as folk.”

Thank you for an interesting read.

While I wait for chapter two I will go read your other posted story.

My best wishes.

So well written and beautifully paced. I am looking forward to additional chapters in this mystery. Thank you for writing.

I've seen a lot of girls from New Jersey filter across the line into Pa. over the years, and they have all been most welcome. You are an unusually good writer. I loved your first story years ago and this shapes up to be another. You've been over in Pa. a few times, I'll bet! Good job!

that this story turns out to be better than "Kathleen's Secret Life". That story was so outlandishly inane that I can understand why you have waited so long to post another story. Some erotic color is expected in stories on Lit.com, but eroticism can become so unbelievable that it borders on the ridiculous and is no longer erotic.(As in Kathleen's...) I hope that "The Shoebox" does not become so preposterous.

Cheers!

Well, you've me very intrigued. I'm anxious to read more.

Good beginning. I like the hook you set at the end.

Boyd

what could it be

god Dam it i HATE it when people use cliff hangers. THere is no need i am already interested there is no need to pull me futher in. if you have written it POST IT. If not then dont.

That is the clinical term for the type of person who would torture a nice guy like me.

If I would have known you were going to waste as much time going on an on about the husband instead of getting to the point of why he needs your help I wouldn't have bothered reading it until you had a couple more chapters in it. Your story has great potential why ruin it going on and on about something that could have been written in 1 or 2 paragraph instead of stretching it to take up half of the first chapter then stopping before anything worth knowing was said.

Refreshing myself of you caused such distaste from your first story. It was disturbing to see talent wasted on the aburdities of watching, taking pictures, and being excited by his whores many gangbangs and her bastard children. It was a well written story for jaded men who desired pathetic humiliation to the enth degree - a total freakie sick absurdity.

So, one hopes for more. Frankly, it wouldn't take much to be an improvement over your last. Without much hope, next chapter please.

and she's having sex with a line of both men and women, having seemingly the greatest time of her life, so different from the Kindergarten school teacher mommy type personally poor hard working Joe put in his mind about his Beth!

Poor Joe's been so busy, he never fully explored Beth, so he never truly know she's hermaphroditic, either! That's why the therapist dropped the box, when she came upon those "shocking" pictures; she had to take a break, so she breaks off her story telling, telling us she needed to powder her nose, first, and then call her husband to say she'd be a bit late! lol

Anyone want to bet the next picture is one with Beth and Susan's Husband?

Same old in the sub genre: Reconciliation at all cost, sub category “therapy stories“ formula. I expect no surprises. I am going to engage in ‘literary forecast’ (a nice soft hat is ready to be eaten in case I am wrong). But I base it on what I have read in this chapter. So, my prediction is that they would have to work for quite some time at “reconciling”. Parenthetically, why is it always predetermined, like a religious maxim, that to “happy - end” the husband is truly the best outcome - or the happiest? And for whom?

True to Formula, while at it, therapist helps wife do damage control after being caught. In turn, wife helps therapist continue making very nice living, and both help the cuckold husband “take responsibility” for “his part” in wife’s cheating. They will also teach husband how to become a better husband from now on.

Don’t worry, it will all come with a thick layer of flowery psycho bubble, together with a dizzying level of unnececcesary details and observations which serve no purpose in moving the story forward (yet they do show how observing and intelligent the therapist is!). This is BTW not just a prediction –we have seen it in this chapter already. There is not much to look forward anyway, seeing that the doctrine in this formula is that the husbands always just LOVE SO MUCH their systematically cheating wives!

So far, we know that his wife cheated for a while and that he gave a box of upsetting materials belonging to his wife to his therapist. That took a full chapter for this writer. Style wise, writing fiction is more than putting case reports in “I” language, while adding even more notes.

The same applies to the way you plan to tell A STORY. Again, it’s different than a case report. Plot wise - the outcome seems to be clear (reconciliation); and the dramatic process is clear (therapy of course). So where is the real dramatic conflict (or surprise) for readers to build on?

It does take an extra leap when moving from one discipline to another. I am sorry, but it seems to me that this writer have not taken this leap yet.

The picture is painted and your intreg has been teased! You will want to read the second chapter to see if you are hooked or not!

anyone notice how many times this supposed EXPERIENCED therapist JUMPS to a conclusion that turned out to be 100000% wrong.??

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First she thought Joe was Mr Macho tough... the marriage counselor came to that conclusion because of the SOUND of his voice thru the phone. That was wrong.

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Then she thought Joe was cheating b/c he was dressed noce and good looking. Are you fucking kidding me?

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then the therapist ASSUMES the wife is Plain Jane. and THAT turns out to be wrong.

you are a very good write thats for sure if fact goods not the word im looking for is a brilliant writer. the stories are second to none. i have waited a long time to read such as these and i am enjoying them so much my lady . i fine your stories and the writing out standing and a real turn on exciting to. an i hope for lots more of them i really do,

I note the final chapter's score is the lowest. Must have pissed off some folks. We'll probably wind up with RAAC. If so, let's see if the author can convince me that is the correct thing to do.

Such suspense! Let's see where this goes!

excellent writing...

will read your others

Fixing to find the wife is a cheating whore.

He’s fixing to find that she is a cheating whore.