All Comments on 'The Table'

Hi newbie!! saw your post on the threads and popped over for a quick read. It is not bad. The sex was pretty well written but I do have a couple of critiques for you.

First the paragraphs were to long, major eyestrain. The second is that I have actually no mental picture of what they look like which took a lot of the enjoyment out of it. Little descriptions about hair and eyecolor and the color and feel of the table through the piece would definately improve it. The technical writing was fairly good, it just needs some more polish. Keep writing!!!!