All Comments on 'The Tawdry Tangerine Farewell Pt. 03'

but you still kept it interesting.

his ex wife has shown us the warped psychology of her thoughts. she literally tried to think of cuckolding her husband to get off, but still couldn't. she may be a self centered, entitled, and lazy individual, that much is true. But she's not stupid. She knows on some distant far away compartment she keeps locked in her brain, that she is NOT worth fighting for, she brings very little to the table for her husband/lovers aside from decent sex, her ex is better off without her, and worst of all her ex husband doesn't even care one way or the other about her. I think only now is she realizing she took him completely for granted. Her mother had the best insights on them both as people. They were a bad match, but rick made it work. She undid all that work. It's that simple. I enjoyed how subtle it all is. Rick is living his life. Not much thought for his ex, as he's figured out she didn't have any for him when it mattered. While she is slowly struggling with her subconscious screaming at her to crawl on glass to win rick back. But even then she also understands that won't ever happen. Just as your title suggests, it's a farwell. Rick said his a while ago, and she'll whisper hers to nobody in due time.

And it looks like we're moving quickly into the Travis McGee territory.

Looking forward to pt. 4.

You didnt hurt yourself with this, moved the story along, Good, not great like part 1, but still cant wait for part 4!

So much going on. You could do 150 K words with this plot. Seems like a lot of loose ends to wrap up with just one more chapter.

Looks like poor Conner is sailing into the eye of a perfect storm. Finally time for karma to catch up with him. And a little humble pie for Katie a la a charity auction? I look forward to the rest of the story. Thanks. Very engaging read.

I believe that there are TWO more chapters.

POV's - Obviously you can't change that now, but I still think that it was a HUGE mistake to include the Molly/Connor story line. It just delayed the end of Rick's story. Molly's POV should have been included only to the extent that it impacted on Rick's story. If you wanted to tell the Molly/Connor story. it cold have been a follow-up story, ideally taking place AFTER the conclusion of this one.

I agree with Molly that it's smart to not date Rick when he's still in "Not-Kate" mode.

Is anyone that Kate knows likely to see the piece?

"If you told me to back off because you were married, I would have, without question." - This is why I SOMETIMES disagree with beat downs on the lover. Obviously, if he's on of the pussy hounds we often see, and makes an extra effort to seduce the woman, all bets are off, but the real burden is on the married person to honor their vows.

"I try really hard to never make promises I won't keep." - Honest answer. He wouldn't get married planning to cheat - but then, neither did she!

"that he hadn't even been willing to fight to keep me." - Arggh! Why should he fight for a deserter who has gone over to the enemy? The person who should have fought is HER!

I like this story , Very entertaining and easy to follow. Connor needs his ass handed to him and then abused by some bitch man

I was a trifle worried in the second chapter that this was going to be a long story of rape-i-ness. So glad that was just some background material!

On that subject: @sbrooks103x I think we all know you feel that way since you've hammered on it at least three times now. Fine, you're entitled to your opinion.

However, some of us disagree (including, obviously, the author). I, personally, think it has enhanced the story quite substantially. Here's my take: This isn't a story about two people (Rick and Kate) like most LW formula hacks where Molly would be just a distraction. It's a story about three people. They start at Point A: Rick+Kate, Molly unwilling to interfere. They end (I admit I'm presuming and Chasten has surprised me before) at Point B: Rick+Molly, Kate unable to interfere. How did all three get there? How did these tributaries turn into a river? I don't want two separate stories where I know the ending to the second one before I ever get there. I want one, more complex, story.

That's MY opinion. NO more valid than anyone else's. And now I'll get off my soapbox about it and let the author tell his story.

Back to my reactions. The thing I'm loving about this story is actually watching the implicit punishment of Kate. Nothing is overt, yet it's a story line under the story line that you can't miss. Someone up top said it's subtle. Damn right! It's my favorite part.

I'm also enjoying something I didn't really notice until I read this chapter, then I went back and read the previous two: Rick sounds like Rick, Molly sounds like Molly. Two very different voices both in vocabulary and speech patterns. That's good.

I'm not one for extended sex scenes, so I have to admit I prefer this chapter a bit more with the abbreviated ones. Sorry, Chasten. However, maybe that's stupid of me because this is LitEROTICA after all.

@Bebop3 says we're moving into Travis McGee territory and, of course, Chasten has said this was a small homage. Should I read those stories?

This story is all over the place, so much going on. It's like trying to watch six different football games at the same time, picture in picture or should I say " Story in Story"

This is a great story....but the whole Molly/Connor part of the story I find myself skipping those sections...or skimming them at most. The story should have stayed about Rick and Kate with the others as important supporting cast instead of the Rick Molly eventual love affair becoming the main story line. Boring.

I agree with sbrooks 103x analogy ..

I like where you're taking this story and can't wait until the next installment! I'm glad your not one of those writers that take weeks or months between chapters. I like a story with many plot lines and complex connections. 5*****

I'm loving it.

While I am still not a fan of multiple 1st-person POV I am enjoying this so much I no longer care. I just hope to Buddha we don't see a ton of less skilled writers trying to pull it off and fail.

I have to disagree with SBrooks about the Molly/Connor thing. It is not a separate story. It would make no sense to have it come after Rick's part as it is an intergral part of it.

I actually stopped reading when Molly gave in to Connor's demands to meet, but thankfully kept reading.

So far, this is one of the best stories of the year, to me.

KB

My expectations at the start, you've drug me into your world and I find that I don't want to leave...damn you anyways - muhahahahahaha!

Thanks for your time and talent.

MOLLY is an integral part of Rick's story, Connor isn't.

When Tori tells Rick about the art work "Manning With Her Lovers" - "Thank you, Rick. I love it. I might as well tell you that I'll only be able to enjoy it for a short while. I intend to auction it once I move to the new house to raise money for charity. I hope you're prepared for some acclaim once people see it." I see this as the plot to move Rick into the upper crust of the art elite and the big bucks to finish Kate's regret about her destroying her marriage. Tori and Jean along with Molly and Conner are all integrated into the payback to Karen when she finally sees that her lover Scott is not interested in her as a spouse and the person she gave up (Rick) is now a wealthy artist with a lovely wife Molly! I love this story and if it was a book it would be one where I would read it to completion even cutting a night sleep short.

It's all coming along. You've stirred the pot and have it s all simmering nicely.

Looking forward to part 3

5*

This is one of the few times that I can recall, after reading hundreds of Lit stories, that a woman has actually had a period, requiring sexual activities to be curtailed.

As far as the plot goes, this Connor guy is a prime asshole and deserves to have his boat scuttled while he is sleeping aboard. Why not facilitate that, rather than this convoluted plan that is developing?

In the first chapter the beginning of the story is highly interesting, and then Molly's and Kate's part comes and it's completely at a different pace.

In this chapter they're moving along in unison and perfectly. I don't think the multiple POV's are a problem, at least not for you. What's also great is that most male writers cannot write women well, but you do.

Lastly, all the main characters are interesting and well fleshed out. There are no evil, one dimensional caricatures (save Conner, but I don't consider him a central character). Intelligent people, displayed intelligently. Not perfect by any means, but interesting characters.

Interestingly, like the first chapter where the different parts of the story seemed to be moving at different paces was a metaphor for Kate's and Rick's relationship. Opposites attract, but all the studies I've seen on relationship say that couples with a great deal in common make for the best relationships that last. Kate and Rick were moving at different speeds. Literally with the money, ambition, pace of life in making a living, people they come in contact with. She's a high energy, extrovert, go getter. He is a take it easy, introvert. An ambitious go getter man can be happy to come home to a loving sweet unambitious housewife willing to play second fiddle to him. Women are simply programmed to admire men who are more ambitious and accomplished than they are. I can see Kate being attracted to Rick in the start, but in the long term there was too much there for him not to be enough for her. Doesn't make him less than or her a bad person. Just mismatched!

and I think SBrooks is off base on this one. In any event, the well executed complexity of this story deserves plaudits. Good, interestingly plotted, non cliche ridden writing with well developed characters is rare on LW.

A minor point, though...I wish Chasten hadn't wandered off into SJW territory with the "#metoo" references. If you've been involved with the theatre and actresses or models, you know that directors and others aren't coercing sex from most women when casting involves sexual favors. Instead, it's offered by actresses or models as a bribe to be given a role or a shoot. Ian McKellen is the only actor I know of who has been brave enough to mention this publicly and has been pilloried. While I don't doubt that pressure has been put on some actresses and models for sex to get a role or a shoot, the vast majority of the time the actresses and models are trying to beat the competition by offering sex. Do not doubt that a goodly number of the actresses pushing the "#metoo" movement are ones known in the business to have gotten roles by offering sex. Now they are trying to rehab their reputations by claiming it was coerced and/or are taking the opportunity to virtue signal.

And, by the way, "holiday party"? Really?

Quibbles aside, wonderful work. I hope there is more that one more part or, if it's one, that it's long. The story is too good and complex to rush to the end.

but just too improbable to be compelling. In fact a good deal makes no sense at all. The greatest mystery is, why did Rick and Kate ever get married? Rick is deep and philosophical and true. Kate is shallow and self-centered and arrogant. She really thought Rick would sell his soul and character for her money? You can't have it both ways. Either Kate was always a selfish shallow whore, and Rick was a blind dufus, or Kate changed from a loyal loving respectful grateful wife to a self-absorbed money-centered bitch, and Rick was too distant or too disinterested to notice. Either way their divorce is a non-event given that their relationship was a non-marriage. So who really cares what Rick and Kate think about each other? Thinking is not Rick's strong suit, and Kate only cares about Kate.

The intricacy of the plot and the amount of detail and back story you wish to communicate makes me suggest this story should be in the Novels section. Its just too involved and complex. I find myself skipping a lot of the detail and arrangement descriptions since I only care about what happens, not the logistics and mechanics of how it happens. Those details are just not that interesting.

What will be interesting is how and when Connor and Katie intersect, interact, and have intercourse. Talk about burn the bitch. How about Rick somehow manipulates Katie into Connors web, kind of like selling her to a Mexican whore house without having to do the kidnapping. Just an idea.

Thanks for the effort, and good luck with it. As the number of readers continues to dwindle don't get discouraged. Its not a badly written story, its just being served to the wrong audience.

I really like these kind of slow-burn stories, where the slut wife betrays the husband, then comes to bitterly regret her own actions by the end.

Katie is going to be devastated when Rick becomes a very wealthy and successful artist for the rich and famous. I can see him starting a new family with Molly, while Katie's relationship with Scott falls apart when he ditches her for a younger model. Jealousy, regret, guilt... she's going to be in for a world of self-inflicted pain.

I can't wait for the charity auction, where Katie finds out about "Manning and her lovers". The title perfectly encapsulates Rick's feelings towards his ex-wife... that she's a whore. The art piece is just like Katie... something he really treasured but he can't stand looking at anymore. Both the carving and the ex-wife are now with someone wealthy... that doesn't really love them.

If you are going to make your characters suddenly act like they are mentally retarded, you should show us something that would make it believable. What you're doing here is equivalent to a third rate sitcom suddenly turned into a bunch of drooling vegetables twitching on some sofas for a half an hour.

Ok. You have successfully drawn me in to Molly's plight.

I fully appreciate that Molly felt the repercussions of her choices. I'm happy you kept her character in line with the woman you illustrated in your first chapter.

She is a daring and quick thinking lady but no cold heart. Her actions with Connor left a bruise on her soul and I am thankful that you had the depth to write about it.

I am loving operation Connorfall. May his demise fit his crimes and possibly hamper his future criminal efforts.

I'm enjoying your characters and I love how you are illustrating Katie's life with Scott. They are just a couple of crappy people but at least Scott didn't try and con a woman into playing house with him even if he is an absolute shit about married women.

Now I’m hooked.

Thanks and looking forward to the rest of the story.

For the readers... it is finished in ch5 and it's all good.

Thanks chasten for the story.

The plot is strong. All characters are well-developed, realistic, with deep personalities. Naming artwork after his ex, with a less than flattering intention, was brilliant. Then there’s the irony that he’s on the brink of huge success, and is divorced because his ex didn’t believe in him. All in all, a very entertaining story... now to read that final chapter.

Including that was a clever, classy touch. The plaque commerating it is no longer at the Bahia Mar Resort in front of Slip F-18, it's now in the Harbor Master's office. Signed: BTW

I love it when a plan comes together. -Hannibal Smith

He may have said it, but only after a screen writer put the words in the script.

great characters and plot, sub plots

best chapter cut off ever. So good I have to comment before hitting the next instalment.

and I didn't give a fuck about any of them. it was just boring, so I'm done.

Still very much enjoying the reread

I feel I'm being dragged along for pages without much really happening. It also feels emotionally flat.

Quite in-depth story this one, good plot and you keep the descriptions coming well.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

5*