All Comments on 'The Toolshed'

Great beginning, please continue with this story.

First the brother has returned home from college, then he's just out of high school and going to be going to college. I think a little help from an editor would correct these small inconsistancies.

I think it's when a personal fantasy is being translated into a story that can be printed on this site.

Keep writing!

loved it, please continue.....

It may have confused people by randomly going back and forth in time. Flashbacks are a useful tool when used properly. Spend a little time with transitioning elements...

Some of these "anonymous folks" like to think of themselves as literary critics. Don't pay them to much mind. I loved the hell out of it and thought it was just a fine little sibling incest tale. I would like to read more of their adventures and hope you will consider doing it. Remember, there are a whole lot more of us out here who appreciate your work than there are those who try to nitpick. Thank for your story and, by the way, I'm not one who hides behind anonymity.

Not sure how a condom for a girl's first time is erotic.

I hope you will post another part to this story.

This story is well written and far better than most. I would rate it in the top 25% of stories on this sight.

This would have been an incredible story, if you had been accurate about female anatomy. The clitoris is located above the vagina; a guy pushing his tongue into the vagina isn't going to be rubbing against the clit unless he's coming at it from 69 position, and even then, he's going to have to try. (From the usual girl-on-back-and-partner-below-her position, the clit is going to be near his nose.) And the hymen is a thin web of tissue at the opening of the vagina -- if he's already filled her cunt, he's way beyond the hymen, there's no barrier left to feel except her cervix at the bottom of the vagina, and there's no way he's pushing past that without a trip to the emergency room.

another male virgin writer that knows nothing about women. this writer sounds like he never even saw or touched a vagina. negative 20 for no research and being unrealistic.

why does Neil use a stupid condom when he's fucking his own sister? When he shoves his big brotherly cock up his little sis Paula's cute little twat, he should be able to feel every inch of her twat. And when Neil unloads his brotherly balls into her, Paula should be able to feel all that creamy sperm hitting the tender walls of her cunt. That's the way that the thousands, and tens of thousands of brothers and sisters who fuck every day of the week do it.

How the fuck is a condom erotic?

And for who?

The reader? No. Boring, please refer to real life.

The male? No. Desensitised much?

The female? No. Don't get to feel a real cock for the first time, instead she get a piece of latex. She also misses out on the delight of feeling her loving brother's hot spermy discharge, splashing away deep inside her, frothing up her delighted little cunt.

Look how much damage you done to the poor girl on her first time!! Evil, naughty author!

I don't really care about inconsistencies; I actually didn't even notice. This story was about a brother and sister in love. About a sister that wanted to share her first time with her first love. It was about a brother that wanted her first time to be with a caring partner. He even cared enough to use a condom; cared enough not to risk getting her pregnant. He cared enough that he SHOULD have taken her to get a prescription for birth control pills so that when she engaged with some fuckhead that didn't care, she wouldn't have to worry about a baby to ruin her young life. I liked the tender love between them.

Interesting premise.

But the sex happened too fast. Much too fast. Climb ito shower with sister. Say, "Suck it". Sucking.

Nah.

Three stars.

The feeling in the story far outweighed the inconsistencies it was a nice tale of love. Would they celebrate like this again? No the biggest and most glaring inconsistency in my book is the parents going away on the weekend of their only daughters 18th. So selfish. 4 🌟.

Good premise.

But no preliminaries? Just boom -- cock into pussy? Needed lots before the defloration. Needed attention to all parts of her body. Needed description/s of how admiring/touching/feeling/playing with/licking/sucking made her feel. And dialog where she tells him.

Needed her to involve herself with his body. Admiring his cock. Wondering how it'd feel going into her. Touching/playing with his cock. Kissing it. Sucking it.

Too fast.

Too much missing/unsaid.

Three stars.

Again...so many negative (and ANONYMOUS) comments here...tho I DO agree about the anatomy thing...not sure this author knows the location of the clitoris (DEFINITELY NOT IN THE VAGINA!!) Could have used a bit of research beforehand...

However, this is a great story, about a sister who does on her older brother, and wants HIM to be her first...to give him her virginity (¿virtue?)...too bad it had to include use of a condom...if she was ready for this, she would have already been on 'the 💊 pill' and prepared to have Neil dump his loads into her virgin pussy.

Still, enjoyed this...**5** stars...