by dom_u_softly
Your story has been interesting, well developed and sexy with excellent character development. This chapter, however, left something missing with the wife being loaned (whored) out to two different men and the husband stands outside the door both times and listens. Based on his original fantasy, and how their trip got started, this was not realistic and definitely anti-climatic to the reader. Keep writing, you're good, but thought I'd throw my 2 cents in.
- Ron -
in an earlier chapter the husband said that he would always love and keep her safe. how was whoring her out to other men keeping her safe? why not just put her on the street and have her fuck anybody and everybody.
Your story line started off on a great note. . Chapter 2 and 4 had great development but sadly, at that point the story has started to get repetative. . .
Ok the angle of taking her to a strip club is an interesting side trip, but it has gotten predictable. . .
Thanks for what you have written, its a good start. . I'll be a bit reluctant to see or read the next chapter. . .