All Comments on 'The Unexpected Soulmate'

Good start but it left the reader with an unfinished story. 3/5

"Unexpected Soulmate"

This was sweet, but a bit rushed, and I found two people happily having sex, not soulmates.

Flesh it out more, figuratively, on the whole, and almost literally in the S-E-X scene, more would help there as well.

I enjoyed the build up. Because of the story tags, I knew before I read the first sentence that it was his sister. Honestly, that was my main reason for reading it to begin with. But when it came time for the reveal, the whole thing went flat. The first mistake is that while I could buy into the premise that he might not recognize his own sister's handwriting, there's no way in hell that he's not going to recognize her voice. But even more so, a simple face mask isn't going to cut it either. It would have been better to have her set up something else to where she could have him come fully into the room and she could block the door to prevent him bolting before she could have her monolog and convince him to stay. Dragging out the reveal with the mask was trite and counterproductive.

Then there's the faux pas:

"We're identical twins. You look just like me."

You have to be the same gender to be identical twins. Brother/Sister twins are 100% always Fraternal. But even so, you tried to convince me that he didn't recognize her at first sight? Twins? Give me a freaking break. This just ruined it further. If I can pick out my wife in a crowd, I would surely recognize my own twin sister in a mask.

I gave you 3/5 because it was only a halfway decent story.

THE STORY WAS VERY NICE AND THE BUILD UP TO THE HOTEL WAS DELIGHTFUL. IT KEPT THE STORY A LIGHT AND PLEASANT READ. ONE THING THOUGH, FRATERNAL TWINS ARE BOY/GIRL, NOT IDENTICAL TWINS. A SMALL MISTAKE. KEEP IT COMING.

Identical twins are ALWAYS same sex. What will johnny tell the co-workers? nice for a just beginning incest story...5*'s

good story, except the "bro" thing. that term is decidedly unsexy. it just comes off sounding like a girl trying to be one of the guys. oh well. i hope you keep writing.

The build up was great, liked it all the way up until he agreed to fuck her. Then, they go from kissing to fucking and cumming in like 3 paragraphs. Annoyingly abrupt and sketchy, and your ending is just to have them plan to continue fucking for the weekend. If I was you I would have taken a few more days before posting this and at least fleshed out the sex scene. I mean, sex isn't everything, but your story's not good enough to stand on it's literary merit alone, so at least give a decent payoff at the end.

good but needed one more page to tell what happened when he went back to work how did he explain who it was that sent the gifts and what do the twins do after the weekend do they keep fucking or was it a one time dealyou should have said that would have made it a 100 kind of stupid to go this far then not give a proper endding

Excellent job of blending erotica with a nice story line. Not crude, but caring.

Lets see, in the incest group, twins, and they don't like incest? Then why would you go to incest to read? As for the bad grammar, who cares, it wasn't overly obvious, and had a fairly smooth read. I really liked the story, as for the nay sayers..... to hell with them. Keep writing, I like your style.

the absence of oversized boobs and dickey and of ANAL made it even better

Enjoyed it!

to those commenters complaining: why are you reading incest stories then? hehe ;)

For those who like incest stories ~ it is delightful ~ those who like to knit pick should have bypassed it. "Identical twins" is a figure of speech ~ the two characters are obviously both attractive!

A fun but very erotic story, having sis trick him into a rendezvous to have incestuous sex is really hot. Thanks for the great story....Rich

"Why" do you all even read when you know the subject matter and to all the "professional critic's " on here who have never read a perfect story in there life - you all need to get a "real" life or start reading Comics ! This is supposed to be fun and intertaining and enjoyable.! I thought the story was "great" and would like to read more like it in the future and it is to bad "you have" to read them.

Too many "literary critics on this site. They should realize this site was intended for fun, not ever going to be a award show. Good story, period. Some of these critics really need to get a life, for God's sake!!

I liked the beginning the most with it's mystery around the gifts. Then when the sister was mentioned the first time I knew it will be her in the end. The pornoliterarical aspects came too short but the emotional feelings were nice. Good read although.

I liked the story well enough. But I'm on;y commenting because of the first commentor who said he liked the story up to the point where he found out it was the guy's sister- this is the incest/taboo categoory- what was he expecting?

This was an interesting story... It just seemed to get rushed at the end. I was really enjoying it, but then the sex was so rushed that it ruined it. ("he inserted his member,"????? That was so sudden, like a splash of cold water in the face!) Some bad typo/ grammar problems (no, not "he lied on top of her," correctly, "he lay on top of her."). It was in the incest category. I know it doesn't say on the V-Day contest page, but that's just poorly set-up, not the author's fault. I always check the little blue listing at the very top of a story--this one says incest. If you don't like it, don't read it. I also liked that they were twins a lot. Yes, they can't be identical, but they can look like the female / male counterparts to each other and very much alike. I also disliked that he just seemed to decide she was his "fuck toy" for the weekend, and that it was no deeper than that. That's bullshit. You seemed afraid to get down to the dirty details, and even squeamish about writing real incest. Could be quite good, but needs reworking.

loved it good build up, but the 1 sex they fucked and end in the tub,, was short