All Comments on 'The Xolt Ch. 02'

I liked the idea behind this story very much. The characters were good and the situations. But the story is too rushed and hurried. Steven goes from nervous and confused to accepting in about one paragraph, so it seemed. The kidnapping is over in about one sentence. How does mating season go? More time was definitely needed to let this story develop. You also left one really serious issue unresolved. Does Steven ever develop a womb and have a child? What about Jing's children? This was good as an outline, but it's really not a full story. I really believe you need to add a chapter or two and slow down a bit in your writing.

I really got into this story. I didn't mind the way he accepted quickly but I really wanted to know if something was going to change in him so that he could have kids as well as how jings pregnancy went after birth. Is there gonna be a continuation? Like is xe'zhi gonna find a mate or anything else?

Thanks avidreadr and Carrier_Violet! I really appreciate it when people give me advice and comments. Just to let you guys know there is a second story in progress and I'm trying to plan it out much better! This time though it's going to be in the eyes of Xe'zhi and someone special ;)

Please look forward to it! Also, if you have any suggestions please feel free to send me feed back. I'd really apprieciate it! Thanks so much (again)!

Have a good day!

Tae PALLATON :3

I really like the storyline, because it has some creative new ideas in it ^^ I've read far too many sci-fi-alien-sex stories to even care anymore, but this one was refreshing.

Unfortunately you still got loads of errors in your text, and even I (as a non-native speaker) can easily spot them. Which means that any grammar correction utility would find them as well, and if you'd take the time to read your story after a few days of wait you'd find them too.

Your written work represents your heart, and it wants to be loved too :) Give yourself the time and credit to self-edit your stories before publishing them, and half of the bet is already won.

That you pretty much rush through the process is also the reason why your stories seem so clipped and sometimes a bit shallow. You can definitely do it, your creative story is proof of that, and even though the story already has gotten a pretty good voting you could improve the way others see your stories a lot.

Maybe you shouldn't take as much precautions as me, seeing that I only publish something every 6 months or so :D But a bit more love and heart would make me fall in love with your writing!

I agree with the others you have so much potential as metajinx says. I can see too that your heart is in this story but you do have too many unfinished parts to this story too.. Like will he change?? Can he have children like Jing? One more chapter too finish those off would be great.. Also I agree with pacing yourself and re read as you format well, and structure well too. For a good story to be great trust in yourself and proof read what you are writing, I do hope you find a beta writer, and you will see that your base is always good.

Can't wait to read the next story about brother number 2 I love your stories anyway so keep going :)

Please give us more

I felt like you hurried it again in the end. I think you left two big things unanswered: the deal with him changing and how Xe'Trygg would see it as a failure as a mate that he was captured. The part of whether he'd change or not was the biggest thing though. You had it upset him enough to go to Jing, yet we don't know if he ever did or not.

Just try to get someone to read the story if not edit it and tell you if there are parts not fully developed or things left unanswered. I think that will help you make the story more complete. Overall, as a first try with sci-fi, it was a good start.

cannd

It was very rushed I suggest you add onto this because I wanna know what Happenes to Steven. Does he get pregnant? What happened to jing how many kids dies he have? Does Steven change because of drinking his mates semen? How does he change? I would really love to know the answers to these questions.

DO THEY EVER HAVE KIDS!!! love you story #writeforlife