There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 14

As a just in case Shelby let the 'Honey Trap' program run for a month longer just in case there was a second mole deeper entrenched in the company. If there was, the person was very good at his job. There were no whistles or bells that tipped anyone off during the entire time.

William set one more operation in motion. He invited a longtime friend to dinner at his home in New York City: Colonel Lucius C. Canyon, US Army, Special Forces, Retired. They had not seen each other, face-to-face, in a very long time. However, these were extraordinary times and circumstances. Even the most secure communications could be overheard or eavesdropped upon by the NSA. When you are planning to eliminate a sitting member of the US House of Representatives, you take every precaution necessary.

William did not use his computer or any electronic device to print out the work orders for this meeting. He used an old Remington electric typewriter to compose each question he would ask his friend. When he finished typing it out he burned the ribbon. He could talk about any subject while Lucius was reading the document just in case anyone was listening in from outside.

Lucius could answer the questions, and ask his own, if there was a problem, by writing on a legal pad, William supplied him.

There was one problem that never came up between these two men: money. William was always overly generous when the colonel and his men were called into action.

Lucius wrote down one question. "How do you want me to rid you of this problem?"

William wrote, "People who fly jet aircraft, while intoxicated often have accidents."

Lucius smiled. In 'Man on Fire', the good guy shoved a bomb up the ass of the bad guy, and set it off by a timer. That would ruin your whole day if you were at 51,000 feet."

William smiled, and wrote, "It would ruin your day if you were on the ground."

When the evening ended, William handed the Colonel a suitcase with $20 million in it. He shook his hand, and gave him a note saying there would be $50 million more sent by courier, to the usual place, in two increments."

Lucius nodded. "Thank you very much sir."

All the papers involved we burned.

U.S. Representative Horace Bordeaux was dead; he just didn't know how, when, or where it would happen.

************

The Boeing Company contest came to an end in April, and nearly 600,000 votes from schools all around the nation had to be screened. Some were ingenious, others childish. Picking out the top 10 was very hard, but since the winning prize was the same it mattered very little. 10 college S.T.E.M. scholarships and 10 Boeing internships were awarded.

At their next general meeting they announced the winning names, and the name selected for their project. "The Deep Space Science Project." It was not a corporation, a company, or any kind of business, which would be taxable. It was a science project with a Board of Directors, whose members donated money of their own free will. According to the tax code they actually lost money on the project, because it was not tax-deductible, or a gift to a charitable organization. As William told the Board at their first meeting, the IRS tax code is so out of date they didn't know what the left hand was giving out, or what the right hand was taking it in.

Now that the world knew what the name of the Project was, they wanted to see what the craft would look like.

I left it up to the board to make that decision.

They wanted to see the craft before I published it.

I told them I would never do anything without their approval first.

************

Gray and Delicious returned from their honeymoon with only one complaint.

"Dad did you know it was winter down there? We had to buy a new wardrobe for everyone, because at night we were freezing."

I kissed her. "I know how you hate shopping."

She giggled, he smacked me on the shoulder, and went to see both of her mothers. She saw Jennifer first.

Jennifer asked, "Did you change your cell phone number?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"I've been trying to call you since you were married at the hospital. I can't get through to your home number or cell phone. What's going on?"

"Dad didn't want you to give Gray and I the third degree on the beginning of our sex lives. He put a 'call block' on our phone numbers so you couldn't reach us."

Jennifer shouted so loud, if I were at Rod's house I would have heard her.

"Even, you are a dead man. Where are you, I'm coming to kill you."

I was in the lab when I heard her yell. I knew Delicious had spilled the beans. I went to the one safe place Jennifer could not get to me. I stepped into my little cylindrical elevator pushed the button and started up. It twisted closed and I stopped it halfway up to cut the sound of the electric motors. I heard Jennifer run down the stairs and enter the lab. She screamed for me again.

"Where are you Even. You are going to meet your maker today. You kept me from talking to my daughter. Do you know what an awful trick that is to pull on a woman. Delicious is the only female contact close to my age I can talk to freely, and you wouldn't let me talk to her. I am going to use you as a dartboard for the rest of your life, but I am going to use our best knives, instead of darts."

I heard her rummaging around the lab looking for me, but after a few minutes she decided I wasn't there. I heard her feet pounding up the stairs in defeat, and start talking with Delicious again. I turned the motor on and continued up to the first floor in my private elevator. The door opened, I turned on the light in the broom closet so I wouldn't trip over anything, only to see the two women in my life staring at me.

"You told her about my elevator?"

"It would seem so dad. I believe mom is a little angry with you at the moment."

"I believe that's an understatement. I kept you safe from her intervention after you got married, and this is how you repay me?"

"I've never had two wonderful parents at the same time before. I want to keep it that way."

"What are my options Jennifer?"

"You don't have any you bastard. You got me pregnant again, so I can't kill you until after she's born."

"It's a girl?"

"I certainly hope so. I'm tired of looking at men all day long."

"I asked you to do it the other way."

Delicious smirked, "Anal Parking?"

"What did you say," Jennifer asked.

"We have to go to the movies. There's a picture the girls at the college were talking about. It's all about anal sex."

"I would have to go to confession for the next 10 years, because I saw that movie."

"You go to confession every week anyhow. What difference would it make?"

"None, I guess. When do you want to go?"

"Let's arrange for an all-girl protection squad, and we will go together. That should make it an interesting afternoon."

"And women say men are crazy. I'm going back to work; where is Gray?"

"He should be down there with Gordon by now."

"Okay girls, I'll see you later tonight."

"Wait one moment Doctor Luck. I told you I was pregnant, and I did not get a kiss."

I kissed my wife, and thanked her for bearing my second child. Then I asked her a very important question. "Would you like me to have a vasectomy. This is your third child, and it takes a heavy toll on your body. I want you healthy when we leave this planet."

"What happened to your baseball team?"

"We can adopt as many children as we want. There are many needy children looking for a good home."

"If I said yes would you be angry with me?"

"Would I have brought it up if I was going to be angry with you?"

"Even, what did I do to deserve you?"

"You told me how to back into a mountain. I wouldn't be here if you didn't."

"Yes, I would like this to be my last child."

"I think I will have Rod take me to the Doctor. I can see him laughing all the way there."

"I swear you two should of gotten married."

"Divine didn't like him. She thought he was a hanger on, and beneath me. He wasn't, and he isn't. He is my best and my only friend."

"Would you please tell me something I don't know."

"Delicious didn't get a spanking while she was on her honeymoon."

Jennifer whipped around and looked at her daughter. "He didn't spank you?"

"No he didn't. He said if I was going to act like an adult, he was going to treat me as an adult. Adults don't get spanked, unless they are naughty adults. We were too busy making love to be naughty."

Jennifer turned to scream at me, but I was safe in the cocoon of my elevator on my way down to the lab. She yelled to me anyway. "You better take that call block off my phone, or you won't need a vasectomy. Did you hear me Even?"

"I'm sorry, my hearing aid batteries must be dying. I'll have to change them later today."

"You will hear me when I have your prick in one hand and a serrated edge knife in the other."

"I'm sorry dear, I can't hear a word you're saying."

"I hate you Even."

"I love you too dear."

"Delicious have you ever met a man more frustrating than your father?"

"Yes I have. I just married him."

The two women embraced, and laughed.

***************

59. Visiting the N. R. C.

Rod was getting ready to take another trip to Washington to file our 19^th patent in the last seven months when I received a phone call from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. They wanted me to brief them on the nuclear engine, and the full-size nuclear reactor. I laughed at them.

"You don't want to talk to me, you want to talk to my 18-year-old daughter. She designed both of those units using pencil, paper, and a high school computer."

I won't bother telling you the insults he threw at me, I will just say we would need several more pretzel jars than we have on the table now, and they would all be full.

When he was finished his tirade I said to him, "When my daughter finishes telling you about those two units, I want you to call me back and apologize for every word you said. If you don't I will sue you and the commission for slander."

We set up a three day conference, and I told Rod to stay with her in Washington because Delicious was seven months pregnant, and I did not want her to be alone.

When I told Delicious about this event she asked me if she could take Gordon along with her. I knew exactly what she was thinking, and we both laughed. He turned six in September, and they tested him out of elementary school. We were now homeschooling him as a freshman in high school. Let me change that he was homeschooling us. We could not find a thing that little boy did not know. He was a voracious reader. As Delicious said at the very beginning he was totally photographic. If the protection team did not remember where they put the car keys, he would tell them.

The fun part was watching him train with Montgomarie. Gordon was 46 inches tall and weighed 45 pounds. Montgomarie was 6'2" tall (74") and no one dared ask what she weighed. Gordon didn't care. Monty told him to stand in a position and kick a weighted bag. Gordon would kick that bag with every ounce of his 45 pounds until Monty said he got it right.

Then she would have him throw a forearm at the bag. Gordon would do it over and over again until Monty was happy with him. She loved the boy as if he was her own. She would do anything for him.

One hour every day, six days a week they would train together. When they were finished she would hug him like a mama bear, and tell him how wonderful he was doing. When she sent him for his shower, he was glowing with pride. So was she.

"Gordon, you're going to Washington, with your sister, to meet with the nuclear regulatory commission about the nuclear engine that is going into our spacecraft. They are also going to ask about the full size nuclear reactor. Feel free to speak any time you want to, because that's the reason Delicious wants you to go along. Do not be intimidated by any of these people, because they will be very antagonistic towards you because of your age. Feel free to put them in their place, without being too nasty to them. Always be a gentleman, and if it gets too out of hand, ask your sister if she wants to leave or not. We can always take these people to court if we have to. The one thing they don't want to do is face our lawyers in a court of law."

"Should I brush up on how to deliver a baby dad?"

Delicious said, "Don't even dream about it little boy, I have two more months to go before this little package gets delivered. Why don't you ask your mother that question. She is due one month before I am."

"I came out of my mommy first, has anything changed?"

"So help me God Delicious, if you answer that question I will kill you."

"Mom, how would I know if it changed. I wasn't there the first time."

I said, "Do you see what you started Gordon, we are going to be talking about intimate female parts for the rest of the day."

"What's so intimate about them dad?"

"That's it, I'm going down to the lab. If anyone wants me I'm on my way to Alaska, again. I want to find Michael to see if we can back into a tree in the other direction."

Delicious laughed. "Chickening out dad?"

"You bet your buttocks I am."

"Shit, I thought I had you."

"Gordon, you tell her please."

"Sis that will be $10 please."

"I hate you dad."

"I love you too dear. Make sure you clear it with your gynecologist about flying in March."

"Okay worrywart, I will."

59. 'Shit Happens' All The Time

William and Jemma welcomed their second baby boy into the world, without complications this time, on February 1 at 8:27 AM. Doctor Stephanopoulos was very pleased with the way the Cesarean Section went, and had Doctor Heightman, the cancer specialist, in the operating room with him to look around again to verify Jemma was still cancer free. Happily she was.

When she was back in her room she asked her husband, "What shall we name him?"

Without pause William said, "William III, naturally."

Jemma picked up her water cup and threw it at him.

"If you do that to my son you will be dead in the morning."

"What would you prefer we call him?"

"I want to call him by your real first name, Robert."

"No, we already have a Robert in the family. Do you have another suggestion?"

"I don't want to name him after anyone in my family. What was your father's name, and would you object naming our boy after him?"

"Yes I would. How about Patrick? I have a Patricia, who has always driven me crazy. William has always been a respectful and honest boy, I have a feeling this little one will be a hell raiser."

"I heard that dad. It's not my fault you weren't here."

"Patricia not now, be nice to an old man, and a new mother."

"Jemma, how can you look so gorgeous after delivering a baby?"

"It's easy, it's the new drugs they use. You don't feel a thing. Thank you for the flowers, they are gorgeous."

"You're welcome sis, is it going to be Patrick?"

"Yes, I love the name."

Patricia kissed Jemma, and turned to look at her father.

"Dad may all your wishes come true." She smiled, congratulated him on the birth of his second son and kissed him.

"William III, Jemma would have cut your balls off."

"You women can't take a joke."

"Dad, you don't know how to tell a joke."

When I received the email about the birth of Patrick, I called to congratulate both of them. I asked him if it was too early to send his new son a flying cart.

I would have needed another pretzel jar for his answer.

*********

On February 29 Jennifer's water broke. We took her to University Hospital where she was prepared for both natural and Cesarean Section childbirth.

Her gynecologist was taking no chances this time. As soon as she entered the hospital, she was sent to radiology for an x-ray of her abdomen, and an ultrasound to see if she had any weak blood vessels or an aneurysm that might burst during a normal childbirth.

The radiologist found none.

I was not convinced. I talked with Jennifer and told her of my fears. I begged her to have another C-Section. I told her how much I loved her, and could not bear to lose her.

She acquiesced. We had our third son on March 1, at 8:28 AM. When I walked into the recovery room she threw a glass of ice water at me.

"I hate you Even. You couldn't give me a girl this time."

I kissed her, and asked, "Do you want to try for number four and see if it's a girl?"

"You will keep saying that to me until we have a football team, all 53 of them."

"We will adopt all girls. You can buy all the dresses you want."

"With my luck, they will all be tomboys."

"That's my name dear, Even Luck."

"What would you like to call our new son?"

"Moe."

"Moe, as in Larry, Moe, and Curly?"

"Yes, when he goes to school, I want the teachers to call him 'Moe Luck'."

"Jennifer where did you get your sense of humor, because it's time to return it to the store."

"I'm sorry even, it's past its return date."

"What are we going to name our son Jennifer, and if you don't give me a real name this time, I will do it myself. You know how good I am at naming things, do you want to take that chance?"

"Holden, and if you say no you will never get laid again. I checked baby names for a month, and I love that name."

"That's fine, Holden it is."

I did not realize until after I signed Holden's birth certificate what my wife had slipped by me. I laughed, but I wanted to strangle her also. 'Holden Luck', when she meant 'Holding Luck'. My wife was a smart cookie, and I loved her so.

Delicious sent out emails to everyone, and soon thereafter I received a call from William.

"You missed us by a minute Even."

"What are you talking about?"

"Patrick was born at 8:27 AM. Holden was born at 8:28 AM. Both of them were born on the first of the month. Do you want to make a bet on when Delicious delivers her baby?"

"Okay William, table stakes at this house is $100. What is your guess?"

"$100 on April 1 at 8:29 AM."

"I will take that bet, and say April 1 at 8:27:30 AM."

"You scientists have to be absolutely precise every time don't you?"

"I have two things to tell you William. First, if we aren't precise things tend to blow up in our faces. Second, do you own any automobile stocks?"

"No, their performance is disgraceful."

"If I told you as a friend to buy those stocks now when they are low and doing poorly, and in five years you would quadruple your money would you listen to me?"

"You bet your life I would."

"Remember William I won't be here for you to take my life."

"What do you know that I don't know?"

"Rod, Delicious, and Gordon are going to Washington Sunday. First thing Monday morning Rod is filing another patent for our carbon fiber products. The testing is completed and with a combination of the Carbon Fiber and Graphene automobiles, trucks, trains, and even aircraft will no longer need to be made of steel, aluminum, or any metals. Cars will weigh 1/6 of what a weigh now. We can move away from fossil fuels, because batteries will be able to move these cars two thousand miles or more, rather than the three hundred miles they do now. What do you think William?"

"I think Einstein had better move over. You are a fucking genius."

"It's not only me, it's Gray, and that six-year-old boy named Gordon. They are phenomenal scientists."

"I'm going on a spending spree Monday morning thanks to you."

"I'm going to the stars thanks to you William. May all your wishes come true."

************

Delicious and Gordon stayed up late Sunday night playing one game of chess.

Rod left the hotel at 8:15 AM and went to the Patent Office to file number 19.