by StangStar06
Pure bull shit... but I loved it. So much of this story is so out beyond reality that it was actually fun to read. Sorry but I've got to give it five stars and a well done.
His visiting her in jail blows up his plan. They record most visits. If not, they will have the log with his new name and info.
"The only thing you owe a whore is the amount you settled on before-hand."
====> good line. But didn't apply here. Still first three pages had some hilarious dialog and events. Ending with Pearl was funny but as he pointed out in a fourth wall break, was not realistic.
However, the revenge against Kathy was over the top and awful. She clearly had mental issues and it was the first and only time. I can understand divorce or abandonment even but the revenge plot to get pressure of his dad was just surreal and actually evil.
To be honest, before the story went off the rails, after her distorted reasoning came to light, while knowing a divorce is financially distasteful, one option is do counseling (or skip), get a postnup (and maybe a reversible vasectomy) l, and have she has a clean bull of health, then move her back in. You own the house anyways. She will either (a) screw around again, in which case you get everything you want, it shouldn't be hard to check in on her or order some spy equipment or clone her phone or (b) she will actually come back to reality and actually become again the person you loved.
I know for this MC it is impossible because of what he and his dad went through, but for a guy in his position, with no kids, a postnup, a one time slip based on f$cked up reasoning, maybe after counseling, it might actually work. Or the more likely scenario is she cheats again and option (a) kicks in. Heck you could manipulate her into option (a) by tricking her or setting her up.
But 5 years in jail? That was just evil. I went from really liking the MC and his principles on the first 3 pages to suddenly despising him. I known it is only fiction but he not only lost the moral high ground, he wallowed in the moral sewer.
His father made his bed with his mother but could have kicked Kathy out. And besides that all went down primarily when he abandoned her. The several weeks separation is something his father coukd handle. And his father could easily have shut his mother down from haranguing him. He did anyways near the end.
The wife was messed up. Not evil. She is stupid, not malicious. She misinterpreted what happened with his parents and bought into his mom's bs. She got caught on the first time by all accounts.and clearly did not enjoy the sex. For her that wasn't even the point. It was to somehow be closer to her husband. She is a headcase. And sure many or most would go for divorce, but callous abandonment and then framing her for burglary, that btw should not have remotely passed muster on investigation. Their police department must be headed by Chief Wiggum.
Yes, she threatened to clean his clock in court. That doesn't help her case to reconcile, but from a practical case most people would do that. He went the opposite and despite 12 years was going to torch her financially with no house proceeds no alimony, nothing.
Instead he then went off the cliff onto James Bond villain territory when he framed her to go to jail. His reaction was hugely outsized and corrupt. It wasn't a multimonth affair, she wasn't making him an active cuck participant, she didn't deride him with Josh, she didn't make up charges of abuse or mental cruelty, she didn't abandon him or coldly trade up, and she didn't even do it for sex.
Either be a man and divorce her or get a postnup and let her back in, and then if not trust, at least verify, or frame her for adultery *that is bad enough). The fake identity and abandonment and then framing her when from stupid to crazy in just a half page or so.
Clearly he never really loved his wife to have such an over the top maniacal revenge with putting her in prison. Still 4 stars.
I laugh out loud reading the EMT dialog. The jail dialog was the same. Thanks.
Wow. Utterly off th reservation. Loved it as I laughed so hard I almost choked.
5 stars
I liked the way he kept referring to Internet Stories. I also liked the first ending. I think the old man at his running track should have been covered more. At lease a call from him to the old man, at the end, with him saying "Thanks, Dad!".
My only question (didn't ding the story any stars for that but it did nearly ruin a good BTB): other than plot convenience, is there any conceivable believable reason main characters' father didn't dump his bitch of a useless wife now that the son is an adult? He had 12 (or maybe more) years to do so.
I got My divorce in the great state of California . True I got screwed twice but I would rather give her the house and the car that way I got to hold my head up . The longer you are married the more 401K and investments you can loose . By Divorcing My ex and eating Tuna and Bologna I was back on my feet in 3 years . The best part was She lost the house and her boyfriend would not marry Her .
It's hilarious to read comments by some folks who've quite clearly stumbled across a SS06 story for the first time. They're aghast at the content, completely oblivious to your wicked sense of humor.
Why when he left town,would he take the spare key to his wife's car with him?.
Testosterone replacement is easy so that part is just silly. And methinks prison is a smidgen over the top...
What he did to his ex-wife was a bit outlandish. The end was a bit strange as well. Good start but I feel it lost its way in translation. (Or should I say its direction.)
If Joshua's testicles were amputated, then who did Pearl have the baby from? Judging by the appropriate friendliness and discomfort of the parents - from Brian's father? Is he going to raise his brother?
The reasoning for Brian's dad to get back together with his mom after her cheating may have been valid as long as Brian remained a dependent child, but it evaporates once Brian grows up and gets married himself.
So why did his dad continue to stay with his mother after that? The "self-sacrifice for his son's sake" excuse for not dumping her no longer holds water at this point. He obviously still doesn't trust her, as evidenced by his comment near the story's end about "...going to have to let her off her leash and start trusting her too".
These developments make "hero Dad" unlikely as his motivation for staying with her, even back during Brian's childhood. It then follows that Brian's understanding of his father's reasoning, which was Brian's basis for retaining respect for him, was mistaken. Does that mean his father doesn't deserve Brian's respect?
For me, a major plot inconsistency!
Great story, he literally got rid of his cheating whale of a wife by getting her jailed for 5 to 7 year, which also got him his divorce.. Getting rid of her was a blessing rather than a loss and getting Pearl the hot wife of the guy who cheated with his wife was pure karma. Well done 5 stars
"I found out later that she liked the new Josh. Actually I did too. Since he was now technically a eunuch, he didn't have the problem of all of that excess testosterone running around in his system. The doctors having to remove his balls made life easier for all of us. He was far more agreeable and much less of an asshole."
Love this!
So miss your contributions to Literotica. It's been quite awhile. Love the humor in this one. Perhaps readers can persuade blackrandl1958 to invite you to participate in one of her sponsored events. Hope to see you come back soon.
WS
I'm thinking from the level of intelligence of the characters must have been a lot of in-breeding. But a tad funny anyway.
This is by far the best story I have ever read. It was very good and very funny in some spots. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Came across this, got intetested, and ended up reading the whole thing again. Great story.
And all turned out well. Fun to read, which is not true of most stories like this.
Years ago who was an EMT. They'd gone on a call for a possible heart attack, the guy was in his bedroom on the second floor of his house. In our city the fire department always responded with a truck, which was a good thing it was a ladder rig. Seems the guy was too fat to get on a stretcher And to get him out the door then down the stairs. The FD had to cut the bedroom window out and lift him down using the ladder on the rig. Just for the record the unless it's changed the heaviest duty toilet manufactured is a stainless steel prison toilet rated at 600 lbs. Think about that for a minute, he weighed over 600 lbs, walked (sort of) with a cane and towed a golf cart around on a trailer. His truck was full of fast food wrappers and candy bar wrappers. Go figure. I can't see laughing at anyone in that condition but I sure did during this story. Signed: BTW
That was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I loved the EMTs carrying the bf down the stairs, the cop's reaction to the wife, and the whole scene in the jail! Thank you. That was fun.
That was one of the funniest five page stories that I have ever read. I don't know how you kept it funny that long. Just a.doggone good.story.
Like the Saturday Night Live skit needing more cowbell, this needs more MUSTANG! I love your descriptions of the sights, sounds and mods put the the greatest American car!
I love the crazy humor, the weird plot twists, the bizarre characters, the spot on dialogue, all that. Thanks for sharing your work with us.
I mean jail for cheating on her husband? That's way too much. All your stories the revenge is always way too much. The bad things you make happen to them are stuff the girls in DanielQSteele and RichardGerald's stories deserve, but they always wimp out in the end.
In your stories it's the opposite they cheat because they are stupid and then you kill them off or give them jail time because they cheating... It would be nice to see an appropriate amount of vengeance instead of going way over the top all the time.
He should have taken the old man with him...the old guy was lonely and could have used a do-over. Then again...since the old guy knows his name he can find him.
The characters were cartoonist the plot simple the revenge implausible and over the top. It was a work of fiction and the protagonist wins. In reality that is rarely what one sees in marital conflict and divorce. The aggrieved party husband or wife is usually lambasted and both parties lose a great deal emotionally. This story went on an excursion to demonstrate a Walter Mitty style result. Sometimes fantasy is great like this time for me.
The commenter also missed that this is a work of Fiction. That means it is not true and these people don't exist. The police can act however the author would like them to act. It is for entertainment only. Not to be taken internally, so put the enema gear down and back away from the nice story. The President is not a fictional character and must live with the constraints of our world (including the SSA, but nobody can explain how a government agency works) so, love him or hate him, leave him out of your critique. Laugh. This is a funny story and no words were permanently harmed.
Do you miss my point intentionally?
Perhaps because you would prefer to be insulting?
Because you have nothing rational to say?
The simple point is that Social Security Numbers are not infallible identification.
Which is why the US Government forbids their use as such.
But you choose to sling your insults instead of any reasoned argument.
Maybe you have none?
The area number portion of a SSN does not (and never did) necessarily correspond to the state in which an applicant was born or resides; it simply reflects the mailing address which the applicant has requested his newly issued card be sent to.
re:
SSN and US DHS
They don't check those anywhere near that carefully.
Pres. Obama for example has an SSN issued for a state where he was not born and has never lived in.
And yet the DHS Stormtroopers have yet to grab him.
If it were as seriously examined as you seem to think he would have been 'caught' in the early stages of his first candidacy if not before.
Witness also the many millions of immigrants using false or stolen identities for years, without ever being bothered by the DHS.
You really think the cops aren't going to notice once they ask the doorman a few hard questions how he crumbles? Once he does, Jeff is going to get grilled and his felonious false police reports and conspiracy to subvert justice (false charge against the wife) aren't going to come out?
And you think that using the Social Security Number of someone who's dead isn't going to be noticed by the Social Security Administration, and then they'll turn over that to the guys in the US HHS who carry guns and arrest people? The son died of a brain aneurysm. His death would have been reported. And his SSN would have been retired and when used again, bells and alarms would go off within the SSA.
What a piece of shit writing which makes no sense, either within the own universe you concocted for this sorry ass story, or in real life.
Of course anyone who thinks a mustnag is anything other than a piece of shit, can't think straight in this first place!
Great . . . he makes her look like a criminal through lies, taking a new identity, and planting evidence . . .and convinces his friends to become accessories. He is actually proud of his illegal acts and of course the taxpayer is on the hook for her defense and improper incarceration. What a jerk.
One day four years or so later she gets out on parole. He comes home to find his new wife and children gone and a note . . . "You may want to rethink your revenge . . . I warned you our divorce would be expensive. Maybe just maybe, if you and your friends convince the law what you've done, and you pay the price, you'll be able to see your kids again after you get out. Sorry about Pearl, though. Please feel free to contact the cops now if you never want to see any of them again. . . . Your loving wife, Kathy.
PS - I'll need you to set your mustang on fire within the next 5 minutes . . . unless of course, it's more valuable to you than your family . . ."
He smiled to himself, climbed into the car, and rode off. He'd find a new ID, and a new life . . . Foolish bitch thought she could get to him . . . well, he'd teach her a lesson, no matter who else had to pay.
Not a big fan of the style for the first couple of pages, didn't seem to have any flow, at least from my perspective. But good finish overall, though once again not the regular flow I have come to expect from you. Then again, I'm just a one reader and I'll keep reading.
According to some pathetic losers if you aren't willing to post then you shouldn't comment but I figure I will let the author make the decision on what is worth while.
...this story was too biographical a description of the little troll's own life story.
Your tantrum over yet?
Now blow your nose. Not on your sleeve!
Dry your tears and here is a little lollypop for your subconscious to suck and lick.
Run along now, back down into your Mommy's basement.
Just a question. When he put his wife in jail and divorced her, did he take back his real name and save the alias for future problems? If he kept the alias how did he explain it to Pearl? If he took his old name back how did he explain it to his boss and his new friends? So many questions, so little time.
Another great story from Stang Star. Enough twists to keep it interesting and enough comedy to make it light hearted.(Loved the references to other authors and internet story "situational" occurrences). Keep up the good work and looking forward to reading your next posting, Thanks !
Why is Brian going to have to forgive his mother someday, and why is his father going to have to let her off the leash and start trusting her someday? Especially when she is still under the delusion that her cheating somehow made her marriage stronger to the extent that she advised Kathy to do it as well.
It's not about "carrying a grudge forever." If Brian's mother still doesn't see that what she did was a bad thing, Brian can't take the chance that she will undermine his next relationship, and Brian's father still can't trust her not to cheat on him again.
Just Plain Bob's stories are the best..you are not JPB..keep trying though..
It would take a LOT more for a buddy to trade Mustangs with you! Even temporarily!
5* (It IS fiction, so you're forgiven 'bout the Stang!)
too convoluted to actually have resolution. He moved and took on a whole new identity, then took Pearl with him? His father had stayed with his cheating wife for their son, did not trust her, watched her turn his son's wife into a lunatic with her stories and then decided it was time to turn over a new leaf and learn to trust her again? Sorry, this one failed on too many levels.
What a fucking cunt.
The mother I'm talking about. The wife was just a stupid cheating bitch.
I got a nice laugh from this tale. As they say, "All's well that ends well."
Ha Ha Ha
A real fun read, stang.
5 stars.
Oh, and how do I get to meet 'realisticendings'? A girl who LOVES BTB (whether m or f) suits me down to the ground. I feel the same way.
A match made in heaven.
(not serious, realistic... I promise, I won't stalk you)
who loves BTB stories. Doesn't matter if the bitch is male or female. Cheaters need to pay.
are an asshat who can't appreciate a good "burn the bitch" tale
to you I say, without hesitation: get over yourself, fuckwad
The narrator is a criminal. Revenge, payback yes. Criminal actions no.
The woman that cheats on her husband is nothing but a slut and no real man would ever take one back. They do not deserve to be married or have a chance at a real life after they fuck one up. There should be prison time for cheaters and in the divorce they should get nothing. The 50/50 law in most states awards cheating and its bullshit.
STOP reading them - SS06 is not likely to change his whole style just for you - if it hurts so much to read them just quit.
For those who just do not always like or agree - ave fun keep it up.
I - as a rule - enjoy whatever SS06 writes - I do NOT always think he reflects what I want or would do - excellent - a real shocker there since he ain't me. But almost always get a laugh or two, need to think about what is happening or why, have to ponder how and why someone would do, say, think allow themselves to be manipulated the way he has them do, say etc. If a writer makes me think I almost always grade them well. "cause that is what I want -
Another one out of the park......love the sarcasm as it fit the story. We all love a good ending and both the real and internet endings were good.
Bases loaded, bottom of the ninth and SS06 steps into the box. Here comes the pitch. CRACK! Another winning hit by SS06 and the fans go wild!!!
I always enjoy your stories, and even though the ending was expected, it was still great. By the way, sugar in a gas tank doesn't do anything, it doesn't disolve in gasoline. The only way it would harm the vehicle is if it clogged the fuel pick-up. I loved the "Just Plain Bob" comments. For those who don't know it, he is another author on this site.
JPB likes it when his wife fucks around, then he can either join in and accept her cheating, or he can beat the shit out of the skanks boy friend, and accept her cheating.
Either way JPB always takes'em back with their cunts full of somebody elses jizz.
So obviously you didn't JPB anybody in this story.
First, he does not need me to defend him but I'll do it anyway. Yes I bitch him out for his stupid women. I felt sorry for the woman in a “Fool and her honey are soon parted.” I loved the villain in “business.” But what you see is what you get. In Sherlock Holmes you get a super sleuth. In Edgar Allan Poe you get blood and violence. In SS 06 you get stupid women; most of the time. Don't like it, don't read it.
Eyeball, RC, garbage, how can any normal person even make this garbage up! Just another nutcase who needs serious therapy and probably had a dysfunctional phucked up childhood....sad!!!!!!
Quite well done, still and internet story, but a nice take on it. A fun read. You have become quite a good writer.
Thanks SS06 for another entertaining story.