by Rumple Foreskin
made me cry. The words were beautiful, profound sentiment and wonderful imagery. I'd give it a ten if I could.
"more details, more details". But this spare, sparse style works well. The reader needs to put the details of their relationship in himself, and by leaving a lot to the imagination, increases the story's power. Another blockbuster from Rumple, this kind of thing doesn't usually win contests unfortunately. Maybe I'll be wrong this time...
To those of us who've lost a loved one you left enough room in the story for us to interject our own memories, thoughts, and deeds. At the same time you were able to tell a timeless story of unending love. You actually brought a tear to this Horny 'ol Sailors eye. Thank You. Ronnie W.
You're gonna make me diabetic with all this sweetness! Well done. ~Imp
How you could take an entire story and make it work in such a short piece astounds me. I want more but then I don't because it is wonderfully complete just the way it is.
Bravo, Rumple, my hero yet a gain.
v~
This was an enjoyable vignette, bittersweet and melancholy. Good luck in the contest! :)
soppiness(does that exist?) to make me enjoy your story thoroughly.
Thanks for that little piece of candy.
Good luck.
Black Tulip
This is a love story well told.
Thank you for it.
Both heart rending and romantic.
You built up so much of two peoples lives in so few words, I'm envious.
Well done.
I wish to say "THANK YOU" for a great story.
Well done!
East Coast Wes
Thank you for the showing the beauty of love... very moving and deep... penetrating the heart.
Matt's pain from the loss of Abby was portrayed beautifully. I love the last line of the story ... it sums up a love that is meant to last forever.
You wrote a very powerful and moving story in a short amount of space. Well done!
Moving and heart rending tale in a short space. Masterly how you cause such strong emotions in a very short time. Excellant.
Vry well done. You remind me again of why I look to your owrks for inspiration.
Colly
for a very moving piece in such a burst of words. It just goes to prove that bigger isn't always better.
Extremely moving and well-written. Badly lacking in smut, though.
...but sweet. I liked the fact that it wasn't just about sex. The only thing I would say is that the flashback was a little confusing and you used Willie instead of Jimmy once but that's minor stuff compared to the end result, which almost made me cry :) Good luck on the contest.
But I don't hate you. What a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful tale. So sad yet so very sweet. I love your characters even though I've known them only briefly. *sniffles* well done Rumply, that is an amazing story.
RF... I have to 5 bomb you... despite the fact that you tol me I had no chance because I had too little sex.. and here you have even less... still the skill displayed leaves little doubt...
Wonderful bittersweet tale, Rump. So much caring and love in such a short piece. Good Luck.
Beautiful craftwork to convey a mood, a sad romance, but what is more appropriate for Halloween and Autumn when everything is dying.
This story was okay I guess, but second place in the contest? Sorry, but there were far superior works to this one that deserved to place above it, not least of which was the third-place finisher.
With the exception of your not using a name, I have no complaints with anything you posted. In fact, I agree. I voted a five for both Rob and Penelope. She entered a very long story near the end of the deadline. When the scores were tallied, we were tied but I had a few more votes. Had the contest lasted another day, I'm certain she would have finished in second place.
My thanks to everyone for all the kind, supportive comments. While folks tend to be polite in PC's, your "atta boy's" felt very nice.
Rumple
This reminds me of that scene in,"The Patriot" where the British trap the townsfolk inside the church and proceed to burn it to the ground. You feel sorry for Heath Ledger,whose new bride and family are inside,but you wonder what the fuck is entertaining about this?! ~ If I want feel like shit,I'll just go visit the "terminal" ward at the hospital. I don't need to find this nightmare at literotica!