All Comments on 'Time Differences Ch. 01'

You need to work on your writing. Write more directly, more simply. Write shorter sentences. Do not use too many adverbs. Avoid the passive voice.

I liked it. Thanks for posting and I look forward to the next chapter.

No, you don't need to work on your writing. Don't write more directly, or simply. Do not write shorter sentences. Use as many adverbs as you like. And don't avoid the passive voice.

In fact just continue as you started, but do continue soon!

The writing seems fine to me. Continue as is; no need for simpler or shorter sentences. I will be looking forward to the next chapter.

I couldn't get through the first page without a force of effort. No attempt to provide adequate setting and characterization before confusing the reader with dialog that makes no sense without context. Style was overly flamboyant in places and never answered the questions I wanted answered.

Sex was . . . meh. Sci-fi concept was mildly lame, but its execution was clumsy and amateurish. Don't quit your day job.

Despite what others may say, I think you get your point across quite well.... I do think a few more male characters from different times would be a big help, but then, I've only read the first chapter. Looking forward to the next few, as I'm curious as to where you're going to take this. Considering the disparate times Simon and the girls bare from, I suppose a few soldiers from the 2 world wars would not be out of the question.

...unproven... is that the author Spinneret is a woman. It is the general impression I am getting from her writing style.

As in her other posted stories, the Science Fiction is reasonably well imagineered but it is the personal/emotional relationships that are important to the final resolution of her stories.

Honestly, I find the Simon character to be a bit of a pill. However, he is consistent with the author's male protagonists from her other stories.

I would think that Simon should have enough experience dealing with computers to be able to ask more competent questions. Always, that the answers must be a yes/no format.

When you listen to women talk to each other, especially if they are strangers. That their mutual communication is open-ended. Ferreting out complicated herstories to put them into the proper context of establishing a new relationship.